Lack of thought or am I being ungrateful?

[Wrongsideof50]

So DD age 13, asked what I would like for Mother’s Day, I suggested her (and her dad) making us an afternoon cream tea, fancy cakes, sandwiches sausage rolls strawberries type thing.. he took her to M&S and Sainsbury’s to buy stuff..I had already suggested, to both daughter and husband..them making nice sandwiches with bread or little fancy bread rolls with various fillings and cutting them small etc..just like you would get in a restaurant/cafe setting. Today whilst prepping lunch with DD she asked if had any cucumber, tomatoes to go with her lunch ..I said no we’ve run out but you’ve bought some for making Mother’s Day stuff so we can just use some from that …reply was oh no we didn’t get any cos we bought ready made sandwiches!!! Wtaf!! They bought a few sandwiches from M&S to cut up…I mean I get buying the sausage rolls and also cakes to cut up to save them baking but at least make the bloody sandwiches!!! .to say I’m disappointed is putting it mildly…zero effort, zero imagination, gutted 😞 is it too much to ask they put effort in and make it , it’s not like I’m asking for three course roast lunch it’s a few sandwiches! Am I being ungrateful and overreacting…not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

I’m guessing there’s not that many that’ll agree with me, but I despise all these forced occasions. In many cases it leads to disappointment, upset, and people feeling forced into spending money and time they don’t have on a certain day. I’ve tried to agree to ignoring them all in my house apart from birthdays and xmas. Hence I was expecting nothing for Mother’s Day, eldest 18 did buy me some flowers and cake from both of them, i think it was a novelty for her this year as she could drive herself and use her own money for the first time! But I’d hate for them to feel forced to visit, spend etc when they get older. I’d rather they just buy me some flowers or something random times if they want to.
YABU imo sorry, it’s just a sandwich.

not spoken to husband about it yet but have just been to shop and bought some rolls (and strawberries) so she can make some of it tomorrow! ☹️

OMG, YABVU MD was yesterday, you can't carry it on to today 🙄. I'd have been happy they went shop and bought the sandwiches etc, surely actually sitting and eating it all together was lovely.

Yep, that's also a good one! Prawn is my fave though x

I like the NY Deli one.

However, I don't think micro management mummy is coming back ... I wonder if she exploded when she realised they hadn't got her Lady Grey tea ? 🤔

It would be great to know how afternoon tea went but I don’t suppose @Wrongsideof50 will be back

Yes I’ll agree with that!

I doubt it went well.

OP will enjoy punishing her daughter and husband by passive-agressively finding fault with everything and acting superior. Sulking and being a martyr "after everything I do for them, this is the best they can do."

Daughter and her Dad will be feeling like shit and resolving not to bother next year, because doing nothing can't be worse than this.

Can’t say on all my 60 years on the planet I’ve ever been aware that the whole point of Mother’s Day is that it’s about something homemade.

How do you know that? Don't be so bloody nasty. What's wrong with people.

@TwistedWonder bet there are a number of posters who would equate homemade with cheap

OP's original and subsequent posts have given us quite an insight into the kind of mother she is. If you don't recognise the type, you were probably fortunate enough not to be raised by a mother who made every Mothers' Day, birthday and Christmas days to be dreaded.

Is this a rage bait post?! WTF?! Your 13 year old did something nice and it's not nice enough. WOW! Imagine what that is teaching your daughter. Imagine if the situation was reversed?!

'Lack of effort' - seriously - give yourself a good shake.
Have a bit of a think, or allow me to tell you - about having children with mental health issues, autism, ADHD, eating disorders and learning disabilities and then come back to me with how hard done you are on Mother's Day.

Get a grip and do better.

Just adding a little something here. Mother's Day was originally the day when everyone went to their Mother church, ie the church of their childhood. Some of them may or may not have taken supermarket sandwiches.

Just sayin'!!

Unbelievable!Your daughter has made an effort to please you. She has provided afternoon tea. Including delicious Mand S sandwiches.
But that isnt good enough fir you. You are annoyed becauye she didnt .ake the sandwiches. Poor kid. Dont be surprided if sbe doesnt bother next year.
A bit of gratitude wouldnt go amiss. Ok so you would have made sandwiches. She didnt. Who are you to critise her for this?She was doing something nice for you,for Gods sake.

DD specifically asked Op though. You make it sound like she had thought it all up herself.
Her dad took her , helped choose and paid.
So basically the effort DD made would have been using a knife.

Op said she wouldn’t say anything to DD but it’s hardly like DD bent over backwards was it.

There are some Mums who don't get anything on Mother's day. I've been one of those in the past. At least they went to M&S it could have been far worse

Far from the point and sorry if I’ve missed it, but…. Where were they keeping the stuff they bought? Didn’t you see the sandwiches in the fridge? You knew you’d run out of cucumbers and tomatoes, but assumed they had bought them, despite never seeing them in the fridge?

Maybe if you weren’t so highly strung about things like this @Caitl995 you wouldn’t need to start threads about how overwhelmed and stressed you feel balancing everything going on in your life?

Good god. I have a teenage daughter and I’d be delighted to even be asked what I’d like, never mind have her and her dad go shopping to make me an afternoon tea, homemade sandwiches or shop bought! Dear me, I can’t believe this is real.

Jesus christ OP - they made an effort, you are being really ungrateful and totally mean by tearing it down. Stop imposing your super-high standards on a 13yo kid.

There not just sandwiches, there M & S sandwiches. I would take the M & S sandwiches over homemade.

I'm assuming the OP wanted afternoon tea type sandwiches, which are usually crustless and cut into small slices. That would call for more skill than average, I think.