to think I should have been allowed to hold my new nephew

[milliec]

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oh it's pfb syndrome. They'll get over it

YANBU.

Baby or no baby, that's just rude. Ignore it this time (sometimes a new mum's head is still in the clouds.)

How new is the baby? My top tip would be to offer to make the tea next time. Perhaps you were able to take your brother? sister? out for lunch when you had your baby - good for you . Other people could be in a worse condition emotionally and physically.

What's pfb syndrome?

PFB, PFB, PFB....

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Precious First Born

wotulookinat.....precious first born

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Absolutely not!! In fact you shouldn't even have had to ask if you COULD hold him... I have the odd spat from time to time with my sisters, but nothing has bonded us more than having our own children and it's always a weepy moment when we get to meet and greet each other's new babes. I would have been really upset if they or I had to ask permission in advance of a cuddle! Is it you brother or your sister's wee one??

Knowing how utterly awful I found the first few days, I would give benefit of the doubt, myself.

Well just think, if you'd been allowed, you'd have been watched like a hawk.....

strangers how very very rude

perfect first born - am suffering from it myself right now!!!!

fwiw, i think you have a valid point....

i struggle to pass ds arond, but i just bite my tongue...

plus even if they are busy they coul still mention tea and ask you to make it - as hosts they should offer

'didn't want him passed round strangers'

Hmm, that's nice!

And by three weeks, your manic need to have them only held by you/you dp has surely worn of.

Would have been nice if you brother had stood up for you when you asked for a hold, though. Mums of newborns are allowed to be bonkers, especially first time round, but your bro should be more sensible..

millie- don't worry about it. The worse pfb parents are, the further they've got to fall. Reality will kick in, and they'll find it bloody tough. Your brother will have to go back to work... your SIL might even have to ..gasp, shock horror, let her son be handled by someone else... god, she might even have to let him out of her sight one day when he's about 25 lol

fucking rude IMO

Yep - I'd be cross at the stranger bit.

I am I suppose a stranger to my nephew who lives abroad , but my brother and SIL would never refer to me like that.

Undoubtably this is precious behaviour however nobody has a right to hold another parent's newborn.

I can understand this being disappointing but just rise above it

To be honest I'm thinking more PND than PFB.

well am not at the tea or lack of hospitality. I think when you go to see a newish baby, you offer to make the tea, or expect not to have any.

the not being allowed to hold him is very off though, esp as you have your own kid and so clearly can reliably hold babies.

I'd be cross at the 'stranger' bit

But I do think you are being unreasonable about expecting to hold the baby. Babies are not toys to be passed from piller to post, even at 3 weeks.

Re the cup of tea, tbh I would have offered to make one for everyone if that was only way to get one myself. But I do think it was pretty rude of the grandparents not to offer you a cup after the effort you went to to visit.

fillyjonk - it amused me how our views are total opposites!

FGS the baby is 3 weeks old! Most people are coping on their own all day by then, not having hubby around all day. if you can't cope with making a cuppa for someone who has a 4 hour journey then I think you're probably incompetent! Good god, how will she cope if she ever has another child? !!