AIBU re Mother’s Day

[ChangedUserName2026]

My DH has always been very close to his mum (my MIL). To be fair, I actually get on well with her.

However, today he casually announced that he’s invited his parents over for Mother’s Day and will be cooking her favourite meal and dessert to celebrate. He didn’t ask me beforehand, just informed me.

I can’t help feeling a bit put out. I’m his wife and the mother of his DC, so I’d have thought Mother’s Day might involve at least asking what I’d like to do, or doing something that I’d enjoy too.

Instead, it seems I’ll be hosting my PIL and eating my MIL’s favourite meal.

DH does have form for putting other people (especially MIL) before me, which probably doesn’t help with how this feels.

AIBU for being annoyed about this? Or am I being a bit of a precious princess? My friends think DH is being a bit of a d@ck and have validated my feelings, but curious what MN thinks.

Is he cooking?
Do you have kids? If yes, where will they be?

I wouldn’t be happy about this no. I think I’d leave them to crack on and say I’m going out for the day on my own as a Mother’s Day treat!

But what on earth did you say when he informed you? You didn’t say “but I’m our children’s mum, when are you making my favourite meal?” If not why?!!!

Did you not read the OP which contains both those bits of information?

I'm of the view that once you have kids mothers day & fathers day, are no longer about your parents, they are about you and father of kids.

I cant imagine when i'm a grandparent, insisting the day still be about me.

YANBU who are these men.

Fine for her to come round but you are the mum in your immediate family and it should be your favourite meal he’s cooking.

Yanbu

I’d be upset at just not being informed. It’s the lack of consideration that actually it’s your day too.

Thanks! Yes DH is cooking and involving DC with it so that is lovely. I will however be doing all the clearing up.
Funnily enough, my friends also told me they would go out for the day.

Yes that is exactly why I asked! “What are you cooking for me?” I just got a shrug which p@ssed me off tbh

I agree with your friends. Have breakfast in bed and then go out for the day. I wouldn’t be clearing up after your DH.

Another vote for going out for the day and leaving him to it.

No you should not be doing the clearing up!! That can be his gift to you seeing as he’s made the rest of the day about someone else 😂

Why are you doing all the cleaning up?

Had this with my ex. “You’re not my Mother.” Father of our three children.

Why have you offered to do the cleaning up ?

I wouldn’t mind this to be honest, but I’d make a point to DH that I won’t be clearing up on Mother's day, and when the time comes I’d take MIL to be pub or at least in the living room with a glass of wine while the men and kids clear up.

I'd be off out, no way am I cleaning up on Mother's day.

Get him on here and he can explain it to us why he thinks it is a good idea he is wrong

We have always taken the approach that whoever doesn’t cook a meal does the clearing up.

Yanbu. I'd tell him hosting his parents isn't how you want to spend your Mother's Day so you're off out and hope they have a lovely day. And tell him to clean up so you're not coming back to mess. Go and enjoy yourself doing whatever you like.

I haven’t offered to clear up. This is how it usually works in our household. Whoever doesn’t cook, clears up afterwards. We take it in turns to cook tbh.

More fool you OP, skivvying round after this.

I certainly would t be clearing up! Put your feet up with a glass of wine & let DH crack on!

I am not sure I understand your point? We have an equitable division of tasks. If I cook, my DH clears up. If he cooks, I clear up. So not sure where you are getting the impression I “skivvy” after him?

surely that rule doesn’t apply to Mothers day. Get the kids cleaning up. Both mothers should put their feet up. Would have been nicer if one of you chose main, other dessert, or he took you out.