AIBU re Mother’s Day

[ChangedUserName2026]

My DH has always been very close to his mum (my MIL). To be fair, I actually get on well with her.

However, today he casually announced that he’s invited his parents over for Mother’s Day and will be cooking her favourite meal and dessert to celebrate. He didn’t ask me beforehand, just informed me.

I can’t help feeling a bit put out. I’m his wife and the mother of his DC, so I’d have thought Mother’s Day might involve at least asking what I’d like to do, or doing something that I’d enjoy too.

Instead, it seems I’ll be hosting my PIL and eating my MIL’s favourite meal.

DH does have form for putting other people (especially MIL) before me, which probably doesn’t help with how this feels.

AIBU for being annoyed about this? Or am I being a bit of a precious princess? My friends think DH is being a bit of a d@ck and have validated my feelings, but curious what MN thinks.

Is your mum around and local?
I would take the kids to my mums and let him get on with it.

he sounds like an insufferable mummy’s boy.

I’d be telling him to get fucked.

FUCK that. No way. The approach on Mother’s Day is that he does it. End of

No. My DM is dead. So I struggle with Mother’s Day. But since having DC it’s been a much happier day :-)

I wouldn't be clearing up after a massive meal he chose to cook for guests he invited without asking me.

Go out for the day with your children and do something lovely to underline the fact that you’re the mother in this family. Sod cooking for grandma - they should be doing something nice for you.

Let your husband and his parents sit there and realise that without you there are no children, no grandchildren and, in fact, not much of a family.

You don’t have to be a martyr mummy . It’s Mother’s Day - let your husband cook And clean up ! I’m sure he’s capable .

OP would you enjoy a spa day? Or a solo day out anywhere?

What do you typically do on father's day?

Yeah I’m with you on that. OP this is the parting of the ways.

martyr mummy is inaccurate. We share household tasks equally.

Oh gosh. I am so sorry for your loss.

that actually makes the whole situation even worse and I think even less of your DH.

can you take the kids out on your own? Or suggest Husband cooks for MIL at her place.

i am really sorry if my previous post was insensitive. Sending love. ❤️

Tell him it's mothers day. He has chosen to host his parents, make his mum's favourite dishes and not considered you. So the day is on him. He is clearing up and you as a mother are, for once, puttiing your feet up.

So have you told him how pissed off you are?

DH does have form for putting other people (especially MIL) before me

That’s the crux. Does he recognise this? Does he care about it? Try to avoid it?

I’d also go out.

On Father’s Day we do what my DH wants to do as I consult him weeks before to make sure he has the day he wants, be it a day out or a meal out or staying at home and having his favourite meal.

I totally assumed that you didn’t have children. 😵

You share household tasks is great, but if mother's day means that your MIL gets a day off that should surely mean the same for you too. And if it doesn't get certainly should of asked you before he asked her. He's not married to her, he's married to you.

He knows given I asked him what he was cooking for me after he casually mentioned it. I don’t hide my feelings well. I could never successfully play poker!

I would book the cinema or something you and the kids would enjoy together and go out. If he didn’t consult you and expects you to cater to his mother then I would make a point to be out and not be tidying up afterwards! People treat you how you let them and his lack of consideration for you on Mother’s Day is awful. It sounds like you are usually fairly balanced for a couple in division of tasks but him putting other people first is not acceptable.

Well crack on and wash up for a meal that you basically have not been invited to.

Seriously. I'm being harsh. But have a bloody word with yourself.

He's being horrible to you :( is he normally so pig headed?

Thank you.

This with knobs!
I'm not a Mum, however, there is a line in the sand drawn, when this stops being about your parents.
Alright to send MIL a bunch of flowers, but the "main event" ought to be about you and his family!

Is her favourite meal something you don't eat (ie: venison and you're vegetarian?).

Would you have been less pissed off if he'd asked "is it okay to have mum and dad over and I'll do dinner for everyone?"

How does Mothers day normally work with him / your MIL?

But surely not on Mothers' Day?

Just tell him that you are looking forward to putting your feet up while they cook and clear up - because it's your Mothers' Day as well!