To think this is really mean spirited and she can afford it?

[Sleeverr]

Sister is a single parent and pleading poverty to the extent she can’t bring herself and DD to a trip in the uk for a week in summer. We’ve booked somewhere that’s around 4K for two weeks for the four of us and she initially said she’d find somewhere nearby for her and DD for one week.

our kids are very excited for my niece to join us. Sister now saying she can’t afford it. She has over 1k a month in maintenance and a well paid job of 60k. There’s no debt and I can say that with confidence as she’s very open about that kind of thing! I don’t know how much she has in premium bonds but it’s something as again she will mention a win every so often.

I get the sense she’s hoping someone like my parents might contribute but they won’t towards a holiday. We’ve sent options of 1,200 for the week and she just says she can’t. AIBU to feel this is really shit of her? Letting our kids down and her DD too who probably won’t even have a holiday at all now

Maybe there is something going on behind the scenes she doesn't want to discuss.

It doesn’t sound like she wants to go.

By ‘can’t afford it’ maybe she means ‘I’ve got other priorities for my money’? £1.4k is quite a lot for a week in the UK, maybe she’d rather use the money for something else?

Maybe she doesn’t want to go for the week? If she said she can’t afford it theres nothing much you can do really. You probably don’t know her finances as well as you think you do and £1200 is still a lot for a single parent.

How are any of us to know? The title of your post says that she can afford it. She's told you she can't.

I don't think it's ever fair to presume you know what someone else's priorities for their money are, and I don't think it's on to use your children's feelings - or your niece's feelings - to guilt-trip your sister. In an ideal world you shouldn't really have told your children until you'd both got the plan sorted out.

I just think 60k plus maintenance and no debt means 1,200 is doable. And so she shouldn’t have said she was coming if she wasn’t

I voted YABU because I don’t think you can expect someone to pay a certain amount for a holiday - any amount really.

You can invite them and hope they come. ideally in those circs you would pay for them too- presumably the two of them could make do with one room? But you can’t force anyone

She's single. It's tough. I have spent 17 years worrying about every penny spent on frivolous unnecessary things like holidays because of the what if...? I certainly couldn't have ever brought myself to spend your £4k on a holiday. On paper, absolutely I could afford it. But in reality, in uncertain times, no. I would prefer to pander to the what if.

Maybe she doesn't want to spend a week with you and doesn't want to tell you.

Maybe she is skint. Maybe she wants to use the money for something else.

However, she's said no. You can't force her. And her money is hers to spend.

Is the niece a similar age to your children?

I'm a single mum with a higher income than her and I wouldn't risk spending £1k on a week in a cottage in the UK. You have no idea the pressures, the need for a safety net. Do you know if her job is safe? What else has she planned for the year? Does her dc want to go skiing with the school? Can she spare the time off work? Is the timing convenient for work?

You are presumptuous and clearly have no idea the pressures of being a single mum, reliant on one income. I strongly suggest you back off.

She has clearly changed her mind nothing was set i am sure your kids will cope, 1.2k for a weeks uk holiday is ridiculous imo, she maybe thinks so too.

Only she knows her budget. She may get hammered with tax, she may have expensive insurances to cover. Maybe she’s saving hard for her daughter’s future uni fees?

Our household income is higher (or similar, depending on her maintenance?)
I wouldn’t spend £1.2k on a UK break!

Clearly you don't know as much about her finances as you think you do... Or, here's a radical idea, maybe she just doesn't want to. She is ALLOWED not to want to!? To be honest, you sound quite demanding...

You don't get to spend other people's money.

It's utterly irrelevant that you think she can afford it.

She doesn’t want to go on holiday with you for whatever reason. That’s it.

I could technically afford it but no way would I pay that much for a week in the UK. I could have an equally good trip for a fraction of the cost

Can’t you fit your niece in with you and offfer to take her with you? Maybe she’d like a break

Over the last year I’ve probably earned about £65k. I get less maintenance than your sister but I couldn’t afford to pay over £1k for a UK holiday either. I don’t think she’s being unreasonable & I wonder if a) she doesn’t want to go b) her money is used for other things.

She’s also allowed to change her mind. I’ve just spent £1k on accommodation for a holiday in the UK and I am questioning that decision. I don’t blame her being reluctant to pay £1400

"Can't afford" might be code for "doesn't want to".

Which seems more likely to you?

Income is irrelevant though, as it depends entirely on what other expenses you have.

You don’t get to decide how someone else spends their money. Or what they can or annoy afford / deem value for money