To think this is really mean spirited and she can afford it?

[Sleeverr]

Sister is a single parent and pleading poverty to the extent she can’t bring herself and DD to a trip in the uk for a week in summer. We’ve booked somewhere that’s around 4K for two weeks for the four of us and she initially said she’d find somewhere nearby for her and DD for one week.

our kids are very excited for my niece to join us. Sister now saying she can’t afford it. She has over 1k a month in maintenance and a well paid job of 60k. There’s no debt and I can say that with confidence as she’s very open about that kind of thing! I don’t know how much she has in premium bonds but it’s something as again she will mention a win every so often.

I get the sense she’s hoping someone like my parents might contribute but they won’t towards a holiday. We’ve sent options of 1,200 for the week and she just says she can’t. AIBU to feel this is really shit of her? Letting our kids down and her DD too who probably won’t even have a holiday at all now

It’s not your sister’s job to provide her kids to entertain yours.

She can spend her money how she wants.

Don’t pay for her but also don’t pressure her.

Honestly I wouldn’t spend £1200 for me and DS to tag along to my sibling’s self catering holiday in the UK.

Be honest, are you “upset your DN is missing out”, or “upset your babysitter has pulled out so you and DH aren’t going to get any childfree time”?

Yabu. The reason doesn’t matter, she’s not going and you can’t force her.

Sending her more affordable accommodation probably comes from a place of kindness but comes across a bit, ‘we are considerably richer than you’.

Enjoy your holiday.

You have no idea what her finances are. As a singe parent she has huge responsibilities you have little idea about.

I don't think someone else's finance is your business. She can't go, she doesn't want to go.. it's alot if money.

£1200 for a week in the uk. Grotty seaside towns, cold sea, probably crap weather, local tourism businesses overcharging...im with her. She could put that money to going somewhere nice.

I wouldn’t spend that much for a week for an adult and a child in the uk. I could get away abroad for that. I’ve just paid 2500 for 2 adults and 2 teens for the canaries at the end of July.

You have mentioned your sisters income a few times, what about her outgoings? Are you confident you know her mortgage, gas, electricity, car loan, petrol, insurance, childcare, food shop, any debt repayments, student loan, savings etc?

If not, how can you really judge what another person can spend?

Even if you do know, her priorities are down to her.

You don’t know for sure what other expenses she’s got.

And if you want an inclusive family holiday pick something cheaper! Or ask them to come and stay with you!

£1200 for a week in the uk?? No thank you! Just accept she doesn’t want to go on holiday with you.

I voted YABU as it’s not up to you how she spends/budgets her money. Sorry, can’t afford it can mean anything from literally not having the money, to being unwilling to spend that amount on that thing.

No way would I be spending £1200 for a holiday in the UK. I see the benefit of staying in the UK for costs etc, but the weather etc is still shit, and renting an air bnb etc with family isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

It’s OTT to say that your sister not coming is letting your kids down. Grow up

£1200 for accommodation for a week, for one adult and one child, is more than you're paying for your accommodation though, per person, if you're paying £4k for two weeks for 2 adults and 2 kids? And she hasn't got another adult to share the cost with. You're being really unreasonable expecting her to pay that and for saying it's cheap. Wouldn't it be cheaper to get a bigger place, if you really want to holiday with her, assuming you're renting a house, and then split it 3 ways with you and your husband paying 2/3?

She's let your kids down! Get a grip

Could she come for a long weekend Fri to Mon to keep cost down?

I'm on a similar income as a single parent (no maintenance, but my mortgage is probably lower than some). I have to be really careful, things are tight, and a big expense or two completely blows up my finances. I couldn't and wouldn't pay that for a week in the UK.

She can afford it in theory but it might be that she’d rather spend her money on a holiday somewhere else.

I definitely would not be paying for her.
If you really want the kids to go then you suggest she pays less just for them to attend but ultimately if she doesn’t want to go then that’s her choice.

Not your money! Beak out.

Sounds like she was never going if she said she would book separate accommodation. She probably didn’t feel she could be honest and say she didn’t fancy it.

Salary and maintenance can’t tell you much how much someone can afford. You need to consider how much their bills, mortgage/rent and outgoings like holiday clubs, after school club or preschool are. It is tough managing all that on one persons salary and there is no safety net for them.

I'd only spend that amount on a weeks holiday if it was somewhere I really wanted to go. It's not cheap enough to justify spending it just to please your wider family.

Can't afford = don't want to
A week in the UK is absolutely worth it if the weather is good, with one massive downpour. One of the most beautiful countries on earth!
But if the weather is bad, stuck with family having blown over £1000 (presumably before food, alcohol, ice creams etc)? Nah.

You’re not coming off particularly well here op. Sounds like you chose and booked the holiday, then expected her to fall in line with your decisions for the benefit of your children. She might not want to be the ‘poor relation’ to your extravagant booking, she might be irritated at you calling the shots on how she spends her money and time. Regardless, good for her not jumping when you say how high, let this be a lesson in searching and booking something together- why on earth aren’t you all doing a week in the same location booked at the same time?!

If you really did want your children to see them, why not book a place where she could have easily just joined you for a week?

Yabu op..

I absolutely hate it when people do what you are doing which is prying into other peoples finances.

We have a good household income and savings but often say we can’t afford things because those things aren’t our priority.

Yes she probably shouldn’t have agreed to go, but her finances aren’t your business. She might have high outgoings or she might be saving for something or trying to be frugal.

Haven’t read all the replies yet but to answer a few things..

im genuinely surprised people think 1,200 for a week is expensive?! We’ve scoured so many places and this is really on the cheaper side. Yes we spent 4K but its for a luxury house for two weeks and two days and will be our only holiday this year.

those saying we don’t actually know her finances, we do, she’s the first to say if she needs money and our parents have helped her a lot in the past just big financial gifts on birthdays or Christmas.

I don’t get to decide how she spends her money, no, but it’s a bit shit to say she’s going to come, tell the kids, then back out?