To think this is really mean spirited and she can afford it?

[Sleeverr]

Sister is a single parent and pleading poverty to the extent she can’t bring herself and DD to a trip in the uk for a week in summer. We’ve booked somewhere that’s around 4K for two weeks for the four of us and she initially said she’d find somewhere nearby for her and DD for one week.

our kids are very excited for my niece to join us. Sister now saying she can’t afford it. She has over 1k a month in maintenance and a well paid job of 60k. There’s no debt and I can say that with confidence as she’s very open about that kind of thing! I don’t know how much she has in premium bonds but it’s something as again she will mention a win every so often.

I get the sense she’s hoping someone like my parents might contribute but they won’t towards a holiday. We’ve sent options of 1,200 for the week and she just says she can’t. AIBU to feel this is really shit of her? Letting our kids down and her DD too who probably won’t even have a holiday at all now

Just noticed OP is paying £4000 for a fortnight in the UK? literally nowhere Id spend 2 full weeks in, that could get a decent holiday abroad with guaranteed sunshine.

Personally I think that price for a holiday on this country before you’ve took petrol, food, money for days out etc into account, is extortionate. By the time you’ve added all the extras up you could pay for a week all inclusive abroad in the holidays.

You sound pushy.
Maybe she felt pressured into saying she'd go and in the end she can't or she doesn't want to.
Either way, it's her choice so move on and stop making a mountain out of a molehill.

This!

She does not want to spend a week with you and Its easy to see why.

Maybe she said yes in the moment and then when she actually sat down to look at the numbers it wasn’t doable, or she would rather allocate that money elsewhere.

Nothing would compel me to spend that kind of money in a UK holiday, if I’m honest.

I wouldn’t even consider a week’s break for £1200 in the U.K. and I earn more than her including her maintenance. Really expensive and about the maximum I would pay for an all inclusive in Europe!

A £1200 holiday for a week long family holiday in the summer in the UK is a good deal.

Where are you finding a holiday in the summer holidays in Europe for £1200 for the whole family?

But the key point is if the sister doesn’t want to
go, that should be accepted.

It's 1adult and 1child.... You could easily get a weeks all inclusive abroad for that.
The £1200 in the UK wouldn't even include fuel costs or food.

Although her income sounds good, for a single parent it probably doesn’t go as far as you think and she may be saving for something or worried about her job. Or she thinks it’s not worth the money?

it really wouldn’t bother me. You sounds quite hurt but I doubt it’s personal. She’ll have to pay for food and activities on top. Just meet for a play date with the kids another time.

maybe she wants to use the money to take her child abroad?

That’s the thing - maybe sister wants to spend that money differently. Did she get a say in where the holiday was?

@BudgetBuster remember most of MN don’t think you can holiday in Lanza for less than £6k, it’s madness 🤣 I usually get a week for 2 adults for between 800/1000 in very nice hotels, have had some great bargains.

Saying she can't afford it is quite likely an excuse, family holidays are not everyone's dish of tea.
Also just because she earns well does not mean she is obliged to spend it on a holiday- she may have very different priorities, which is, after all, up to her.

It sounds like your sister is sensible financially and has an emergency fund, which she does not want to spend on an expensive holiday. You need to accept that.

Technically I could afford to spend 1.2-1.4K on a UK holiday I wouldnt want to though

For two people? Go to some hotel on-line booking sites and you can get a week in the UK for 500 or less

If it's so cheap and affordable OP, why not pay for her to go?

If you can spunk £4000+ on a 2 week holiday in the UK, you can easily find the £1200 extra for your sister to join you.

The key to this is it's her money so it's her decision what to spend it on- whether the holiday is amazing value average or outrageously expensive is totally irrelevant your sister is an adult with her own money, it's up to her what she spends it on- trying to strong arm her into expenditure she doesn't want is abusive.

Frivolous, unnecessary things like holidays. You sound a real barrel.of laughs.

Are you some kind of Puritan or Wok!

You need to get a life

Stop persisting..Forget it. She doesn't want to go. And don't ask her again.

Make some kind of plausible excuse to your child about her not going with you

Absolutely tonnes of places. I’ve just checked on Expedia: Malta, Greece, Spain, France, Turkiye.

ODFOD. What do you know? You can live without a holiday and a 15th pair of shoes. Food, utilities, insurances, petrol...not so much.

£1200 for one week in summer is not extreme, depending on the size of the property and it's amenities.

And it is, generally, unfair to commit to something and then back out further down the line.

Having said that, £1200 is for the accommodation only, it doesn't include travel there and back, food and activities. That could potentially bring it up to nearer £2K depending on what you were doing.

A trip to the zoo for example, is probably going to be £50 in entrance fees for one adult and a child, and if DS knows OP's kids will be allowed ice creams, snacks and a trip to the gift shop then that's extra she will have to factor in.

OP, I can see that you would be annoyed/disappointed that she has backed out, but your post implies you were booking anyway for your family, you would have booked even if she had said no at the start.

Your kids are disappointed that their cousin isn't going now, but it's probably 3 or 4 months away, they will have got used to it by then, it's not like she backed out on the day you travelled.

Unfortunately your posts are coming across like you are used to things happening the way you think they ought to. Perhaps this is another reason she doesn't want to come. She is effectively joining you on your holiday so will not have any input into activities or costs, and can't say "no" on the day, as she will be disappointing your kids.

Just accept gracefully that she isn't coming and has good reasons for not doing so, which might be financial or they might not.

There's a difference between literally having the money to do something and wanting to pay what a person may consider to be a lot on something. The second is what people often mean when they say they 'can't afford' something. They mean can't justify because they don't think its good value for what they're getting not that they don't actually have the money.
I agree that if the cost was clear from the outset she shouldn't have agreed though.

There's absolutely no way I'd pay £1200 for a week in the UK. 😂

And that's just the accommodation.