Nursery teacher dating my sons dad

[Dream246]

So it's come to light that my sons dad is in a relationship with his nursery key worker. The nursery are also aware and have said they don't have to do anything about it. My son is with her 5 days a week in close proximity and I feel like they are not listening to my safeguarding concerns and have held back information from me.

Would you move your child?

And if I were a mum in a similar position, newly dating after a split, I'd be responsible and wise enough to stay well away from one of the handful of people my very small child sees on a daily basis so as not to confuse them further and conflate my dating adventures with their daily routine.

No it's more 70/30. The dad doesn't get involved in anything to do with schools. Nurserys, doctors appointments, shoe sizing, hair cuts...... etc etc

But surely that’s her choice.

@WorstPaceScenario I agree. There is quite possibly a reason as to why he has chosen his son's nursery worker. More contact and control.

I understand your concerns @Dream246 … but similarly I’d be at least reassured that if your ex is going to introduce your child to someone he’s dating at least it’s someone who presumably likes children and is qualified to care for them.

Ok so they have breached your contract by taking him offsite without your consent. That needs to be dealt with separately from the relationship issue.

Regarding the relationship issue, you've got options here, remove him from a nursery where I assume he is already settled and start else where.

Or you have to accept the fact your ex has moved on in a highly inappropriate way and be the bigger person and don't rise to the awkwardness.

All I would be thinking about is the safety of my child. If this Nursery worker is a good person who is good to your child, then you have your answer.

@Dream246 That makes things a little easier for you. A true narc tends to push for at least 50/50 (for financial control too).

@Dinoswearunderpants Father may have consented. Mum cannot unilaterally make he decision to move their son from the nursery as Dad also has PR.

It is. And it would make her a shitty parent in the same way it's made her ex a shitty parent.

@NoFiller "Someone better." Do you know OP? Ex doesn't sound great at all to me.

Sorry to break it to you @nofiller but I have a lovely partner now, and sadly he was dating someone previously who by all accounts was a lovely woman but he managed to wreck that situation too. So read prior information and see that this isn't about the nurse worker as a person but the situation of my child on close contact

Disgusting input

@Dream246 How old is your little boy? As you say you have a "lovely partner" now. Have you been separated from his dad for a long time?

My son is 4 and we split when he was 2. My new partner hasn't been introduced yet, it hasn't been long enough in my eyes

Well you're certainly living up to your name!
A nasty comment with no evidence of any truth to it.

But taking a child off site without contacting his mother for permission as the nursery policy and the mum’s agreement with the nursery dictates they should is a safeguarding concern, surely @NoFiller?

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius I imagine Dad gave consent which is of course equally as permissible.

Hang on so you don’t even know if your son knows or she’s ever present with your son at weekends?

habe you spoken to your son? I am really surprised you’re bothering the nursery when you don’t even know if she’s there when he is. The nursery will have info and feel it’s fine.

i think this is fine, and I wonder if maybe you’re a little jealous.

You can move him but I don't really see why.

Nursery should have obtained parental consent before taking him on a trip but are you sure they didn't get it from his Dad?

You can't block her from seeing him or picking him up if he has given permission.

I think being taken out of nursery but seeing his keyworker still as his Dad's gf would be more confusing that her being his keyworker and his Dad's gf.

Well no, as the child has two parents,

@TheBestThingthatAlmostHappened She can't unless Dad agrees.

The nursery don’t need to speak to you first though.

As others have said, I would look for a new nursery / childminder although I read he’s 4 so will surely be starting at school in September? Meaning only around 6 months left, it may not be worth disturbing his routine. I would definitely request a new keyworker.

That's what I said.