To stay in bed when DP gets up with his child?

[probablynoted]

DP and I have lived together for 2 years, he has a son aged 5. There is constant tension because I don’t wake up on the weekends he’s here when he gets up (around 6am).

He is with us Monday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday every week.

DP has made comments saying “I’ve been lonely” when I’ve woken up around 8:30/9 and joined them in the living room. Weekdays I usually am up anyway because of work.

DP has said that going forward he wants us to be a “family” which involves me waking up and having breakfast together. He also expects me to look after his son if he’s going on a night out. For example, he’s told me next Saturday he’s out with friends. I’ve said I’m not able to look after his son, so he’s asked his mum (DPs mum).

Hes said that if we have a baby he’ll enjoy all the lie ins in getting.

aibu to not wake up with him and his little boy?

I think you should do what you want and also think you should not be together and definitely don’t have a child.

Haven’t we had this conversation before this thread seems remarkably familiar?

Apparently not

Run, as fast as you can.
He's a nasty loser and he has actually threatened you.

You would want to be out of your mind to stay and have a child with a man who has spelt out his plan to abuse you when you have his child.

Ffs, wake up OP.
He's a horror.

He sounds like a catch.

You sure he doesn’t just want a live-in babysitter OP? I can bet my bottom dollar if you split up he’d suddenly have his son less

Anyway YANBU. I stay in bed when it’s my own kids, certainly wouldn’t get up for someone else’s

My kids are now 11 and nearly 8, so if they get up early on weekends now they know they can play quietly/watch tv/get themselves cereal. I have no interest in getting up at 6am, my time doing that with babies and toddlers is over, so if I met a man who expected this of me with his younger child then I’d run for the hills. Absolutely no way. And expecting you to babysit when he goes out, sure it’d be nice for you to offer to help out occasionally but that should be your choice not an expectation. You’re a partner not a free live in nanny.

Why did he split up with his childs mother

Sad to say but some men deliberately get involved with women (nice women)in order to avoid what they see as the unimportant, day to day grind of having a child….ie walking up early, providing regular and healthy meals, discipline etc et. They can see that these things are important, so they are good dads, not like the lads that take their kids to McDonalds, but they can spot a good woman, she’ll get involved, do the mum stuff, while he lives his life…..and so many women go along with this because who is capable of not getting involved. But if you do it for them you are robbing their children, better that dad does it badly than not at all, so if you being around makes him lazy, better you leave, you’re doing no one any favours. Imagine waking up in 10 years, you’ve done everything for this kid and they’ll still say you are not mum, even though you’ve compensated for their shit dad, long and perhaps a bit rambling but a woman can never win in a situation where a man is a lazy dad

Did the fact that he had a toddler not give you pause for thought when you started dating?

I’m sure I’ve Red this before on here…

As so often, the first post nails it

This man sees you as an unpaid nanny and housekeeper.

Proceed at your peril, don’t say you weren’t warned.

this is a real shocker. Your poor friend!! I would be fuming if my child’s dad did this

How come you guys have his son every weekend, mostly it’s every second weekend when couples split up ?.
If you two are serious about one another, & you are taking on role of being step mum to your partners little boy, well then I don’t see anything wrong with you get up one morning, he gets up the other 🤷🏻‍♀️.
Like what’s the story here ?
Are you serious about building a family unit together or what ??

But why though? He shares the early mornings 50:50 with his son’s mum. Why does he then need to share them his days 50:50 with the OP?

What he wants is for you to get up and look after his child while he sits back and enjoys scrolling through his phone and drinking coffee.

You need to end this relationship.

It's easy to see why he's separated from the mother of his child.

Completely agree. Why would you be getting up to be looking after his son?

He doesn’t share them 50/50 with sons mum , he has his son every weekend.
I’m guessing he’s working all the weekdays aswel , so does he not deserve one lye in on a weekend morning?

It’s his kid? He needs to take care of his own kid?

You’ve posted this guy before although in the last thread you were pregnant. Either way I’m sorry but you are a blended family and clearly he’s with you 4 days a week it would be nice if you had family breakfast time maybe once a week.

To be fair he has his son every weekend, there isn’t many men that have .

I just meant if OP was serious about this man, & they want to build a life together , well she will be a big part of his sons life aswel , I don’t see anything wrong with taking turns every Sat/Sun morning.
They will be in this together.

That might have been true if the git hadn't clearly said that if OP has a child, he will consider that child 100% her responsibility and will expect her to deal solo while he has lovely long lie-ins, in tit-for-tat revenge for her not wanting to leap in to be his free chuldcare service.

I know it’s slightly different as they were our children but we figured misery loves company so if there was an early riser we’d both get up.

Friedrich Engels, working closely with Karl Marx, described the monogamous family structure under capitalism as being based on the "open or concealed domestic slavery of the wife.

If you have a baby with this man, OP, believe you me, you’ll be up looking after your little one every day and therefore also looking after your step child when they are staying. As I’m sure this prince among men will suddenly decide there’s no point in you both being up. 🙄