To stay in bed when DP gets up with his child?

[probablynoted]

DP and I have lived together for 2 years, he has a son aged 5. There is constant tension because I don’t wake up on the weekends he’s here when he gets up (around 6am).

He is with us Monday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday every week.

DP has made comments saying “I’ve been lonely” when I’ve woken up around 8:30/9 and joined them in the living room. Weekdays I usually am up anyway because of work.

DP has said that going forward he wants us to be a “family” which involves me waking up and having breakfast together. He also expects me to look after his son if he’s going on a night out. For example, he’s told me next Saturday he’s out with friends. I’ve said I’m not able to look after his son, so he’s asked his mum (DPs mum).

Hes said that if we have a baby he’ll enjoy all the lie ins in getting.

aibu to not wake up with him and his little boy?

I recognise you from your other thread, @probablynoted. This man has red flags all over him. He’s every woman’s worst nightmare when they’re with a man with a child. Every stepmum’s worst nightmare.

I really hope you get rid of him. He’s got more shit up his sleeve for you for sure.

Mate. Run.

Oh and is that split 50:50, so he pays no child maintenance? Yeah run for the hills. Do it now.

Exactly. So choosing to date a man with a child was perhaps the wrong choice for her. Which is exactly what I ssid
I ain't getting up at 6am and looking after a child on Saturday night. I therefore wouldn't choose a man with kids.
If you want a man with kids you adapt to that lifestyle

You can be involved with a man with kids and also not get up with said kid at 6am, when said kid has a father who can do that.
Having said that, I agree that she shouldn’t be involved with this particular man with kids, because it’s clear he thinks he can pass his responsibilities for his kid on to her.

He has a mum, and it isn't her. His dad is responsible for him, not her.

Him saying he was lonely because he has to get up and be with his child for a couple of hours woukd give me the massive ick 🤢
I couldn't be with a man so needy and feeble.

Absolutely do not have a child with this man!

He clearly thinks because you are a woman this is your job, even though it’s not your child.
If you ever want to have children, don’t have them with this man.

I’d be moving out or asking him
to, whatever the home situation is, he’s looking for someone to do his job for him. His comment about if you have a baby is out of order, fuck him off.

If you live together as partners you are a family.
Its not a student house share. She chose to be part of this family. She was not tricked into it and being held against her will

It does if you are a totally lone parent.

Are you sure you want a baby with a man who resents parenting his existing child? Field of flags.

YABU.
To choose a man with a dependant at all.
Be very careful as for what you want for yourself.

Your partner's son is his responsibility, not yours. It's his responsibility as his child's Dad to parent him, and yes, that means getting up with him at 6 am. It's not your responsibility to babysit your step-son because your partner is going out. If your partner wasn't making such a song and dance about you laying in on a weekend, I'd say babysitting your partner's son once in a while would be fine.

Your partner wants to pass the responsibility of his son to you. He doesn't want to parent his son, as far as he's concerned it's a chore. His son is a nuisance because he stops your partner from being able to do what he wants/when. Of course he wants you in full blown 'step-Mum' mode, because then he can step back and have you take on the role of parent.

Your partner is showing you who he is, please believe him. If you have a child with this man, you will be making a massive mistake. Not only will you be fully responsible for your joint child, and be the default parent, you will end up being the same to your partner's son too. Your partner won't lift a finger to help you, you'll be the one up every night, exhausted, whilst he throws the fact you had lay ins, when he had to get up with his son.

He wants a nanny to his son, a maid for the home and sex when required = nanny with a fanny. End the relationship.

Still doesn’t mean she should get up with the child at 6am.
Her partner has 50:50 custody of his child. That means the child’s mother gets up with him at 6am 50% of the time, and the child’s father gets up with him at 6am 50% of the time. There is absolutely no need for the OP to take over any of the early mornings. Her partner gets his lie ins on the 50% of mornings that the child is with his mother.
I’d have absolutely no respect for a man who couldn’t cope with getting up with his own child for half the week, and a man who said he was ‘lonely’ spending time with his own son for a couple of hours, 3/4 mornings a week wouldn’t be the sort of man I’d reproduce with.

Me too.
Would add a lazy, entitled bastard into the mix.

How long were you together when you moved in. What would have happened if you told him you want a relationship but you don't want to live together until his son is 16, bet he'd have dropped you like a hot potato and been out there looking for a live in nanny pretty quick.

Hes said that if we have a baby he’ll enjoy all the lie ins in getting.

Do not have a baby with this man. He's playing tit for tat likening a shared baby that you are both the parents of with his 5 year old who isn't your child or responsibility.

And absolutely this

I've voted YABU, because you've posted about this before, the man is a massive twat, you know he is a petty, vindictive little man baby and you're still with him and still considering having a child with him.

Why do you have the boy every weekend

its his child. Saying the one breakfast every other weekend so 1/4 lie ins might be nice

equally he’s 5. He’s quite old enough to stay in own room and play quietly /read a book till 7am

6 is early !

but def don’t have a child with this man

Yabu to sleep walk into a future with this man..

Read what you wrote...
DP has said that going forward he wants us to be a “family” which involves me waking up and having breakfast together. He also expects me to look after his son if he’s going on a night out. For example, he’s told me next Saturday he’s out with friends. I’ve said I’m not able to look after his son, so he’s asked his mum (DPs mum).

Hes said that if we have a baby he’ll enjoy all the lie ins in getting.

I hope you are on decent contraception.
You'd be an absolute idiot (sorry but its true) to have a child with him

I'd be reviewing the entire relationship and looking to end it.
He doesnt sound like a good person

Well if you're happy being his doormat, crack on. What he's pushing for is to stay in bed himself, while you're there doing childcare and waiting on him.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

I wonder what caused the breakdown of his first family?

Tho to be fair that’s only a tue wed Thur and prob up early for work so no real lie in