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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stay in bed when DP gets up with his child?

216 replies

probablynoted · 28/02/2026 19:54

DP and I have lived together for 2 years, he has a son aged 5. There is constant tension because I don’t wake up on the weekends he’s here when he gets up (around 6am).

He is with us Monday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday every week.

DP has made comments saying “I’ve been lonely” when I’ve woken up around 8:30/9 and joined them in the living room. Weekdays I usually am up anyway because of work.

DP has said that going forward he wants us to be a “family” which involves me waking up and having breakfast together. He also expects me to look after his son if he’s going on a night out. For example, he’s told me next Saturday he’s out with friends. I’ve said I’m not able to look after his son, so he’s asked his mum (DPs mum).

Hes said that if we have a baby he’ll enjoy all the lie ins in getting.

aibu to not wake up with him and his little boy?

OP posts:
CheeseWisely · 28/02/2026 21:16

Fuck that. Our DS is both of ours and still only one of us gets up with him at a time on a weekend. Plenty of time to ‘be a family’ later in the day.

Sleepingwiththelightson · 28/02/2026 21:25

Cheeky git. Like others have said, he’s the parent. He needs to do the parenting. Yeah have some ‘family time’. Defo no babysitting, if he’s going out, he needs to organise appropriate child care. The child is not yours= not your problem.

Jlom · 28/02/2026 21:26

It sounds like he went for 50:50 to avoid paying maintenance and then to avoid actually looking after the kid, he had to find someone to do the childcare for free.

A friend of mine dumped her awful ex because it dawned on her that she was sat at home on Saturday nights looking after his child, whilst both parents were out partying with their friends. He managed to get someone else pregnant on one of those nights out, so that women is probably looking after both his children now.

ChrisMartinsKisskam · 28/02/2026 21:49

The only person who is being unreasonable is you if you stay

you got lots of good advice a few weeks ago
When you asked exactly the same question

genesis92 · 28/02/2026 21:54

Why does he has him every weekend? Why doesn’t the mum ever have him?

Gentlydoesit2 · 28/02/2026 21:57

Relationship is doomed if this is what you're both like 2 years in. Do not procreate

99bottlesofkombucha · 28/02/2026 22:03

Another one here to shout do not have a baby with this man.
I bet my house and eldest child he didn’t do nigh wakings and half the early mornings when his baby was born, that was his partners job and now he thinks it sucks that his new partner (you) doesn’t know her place.

Shinyandnew1 · 28/02/2026 22:05

I’m sure I’ve read your posts before. He’s a dickhead-you’d be better on your own.

DesertRome5 · 28/02/2026 22:06

You need to wear a tshirt that says "nanny and prostitute free of charge".

YABU for considering staying with him anyway longer.

JanBlues2026 · 28/02/2026 22:29

I’m sure your last thread said you were expecting, if you’re not then get out while you can or there will be no lie ins or much sleep for you for the next few years

Pyjamatimenow · 28/02/2026 22:30

Run

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 28/02/2026 22:31

Why is he lonely when he's with his son?

Renenma · 28/02/2026 22:33

probablynoted · 28/02/2026 19:54

DP and I have lived together for 2 years, he has a son aged 5. There is constant tension because I don’t wake up on the weekends he’s here when he gets up (around 6am).

He is with us Monday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday every week.

DP has made comments saying “I’ve been lonely” when I’ve woken up around 8:30/9 and joined them in the living room. Weekdays I usually am up anyway because of work.

DP has said that going forward he wants us to be a “family” which involves me waking up and having breakfast together. He also expects me to look after his son if he’s going on a night out. For example, he’s told me next Saturday he’s out with friends. I’ve said I’m not able to look after his son, so he’s asked his mum (DPs mum).

Hes said that if we have a baby he’ll enjoy all the lie ins in getting.

aibu to not wake up with him and his little boy?

The lie in comment…ew!

Run before you have a child together.
I don’t understand why people do this to themselves

Daytimetellyqueen · 28/02/2026 22:33

ChristmasChroniclesBookFairie · 28/02/2026 19:56

I think it would be a massive mistake to have a baby with this man.

This! Fuck me Op, run for the hills!

90sTrifle · 28/02/2026 22:34

probablynoted · 28/02/2026 19:54

DP and I have lived together for 2 years, he has a son aged 5. There is constant tension because I don’t wake up on the weekends he’s here when he gets up (around 6am).

He is with us Monday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday every week.

DP has made comments saying “I’ve been lonely” when I’ve woken up around 8:30/9 and joined them in the living room. Weekdays I usually am up anyway because of work.

DP has said that going forward he wants us to be a “family” which involves me waking up and having breakfast together. He also expects me to look after his son if he’s going on a night out. For example, he’s told me next Saturday he’s out with friends. I’ve said I’m not able to look after his son, so he’s asked his mum (DPs mum).

Hes said that if we have a baby he’ll enjoy all the lie ins in getting.

aibu to not wake up with him and his little boy?

It’s hard enough getting up at 6am for your own child (as your DP is demonstrating) let alone someone else’s.

Don’t have a child with this man. He’ll take revenge and leave you to all the early mornings with new baby plus as you’re up, you may as well look after his child too.

CaffeinatedMum · 28/02/2026 22:37

Why are you posting this again?! People’s advice hasn’t changed.

PeloMom · 28/02/2026 22:38

ReadingCrimeFiction · 28/02/2026 20:00

You've posted about this before?

Ridiciulous that he wants you up all the time. Does he think you'll be doing it ALL when you have a baby?

I do think that if you're together and your DSS is with you this often, SOME aceptabce that you are are a parent figure would be appropriate.

I thought so too. But from what I remember the other OP supposedly dumped the loser?

ChalkOrCheese · 28/02/2026 22:38

You'd have to be fucking mental to have a baby with him.

Lilyargin · 28/02/2026 22:39

Fuck that.

BauhausOfEliott · 28/02/2026 22:49

Do not have a baby with this arsehole. He’s using you as a nanny.

AnaisVB · 28/02/2026 22:50

I have a SM my kids have a SM and I was a SM for a while .
You aren’t his Mum and shouldn’t be expected or told to get up with him/ them.
For a few reasons - A, as above you’re not his parent B- the DC will probably really cherish the alone time with their Dad C - you don’t want to .
I think him expecting you to do childcare is wildly unfair If you felt you wanted to then nice, or if he asks nicely then up to you but no way should you be expected to.
Could you mix it up a bit and do the odd brekkie with them on the weekends if you felt like you wanted to support your DP?
But honestly it doesn’t sound like he’s that supportive of you really.

Blindsided2025 · 28/02/2026 22:52

No I wouldn’t be doing any of that, but that’s also the reason why I wouldn’t get into a serious relationship with someone with such a young child. The relationship doesn’t sound like it’s got legs, to be honest.

CactusSwoonedEnding · 28/02/2026 22:56

Yanbu to refuse to become free childcare.
Yabu if you don't break off this relationship. Yabu if you get pregnant by this man. Get rid.

TeaAndTattoos · 28/02/2026 22:58

Tell him to get fucked his child his responsibility not yours.

CrocusesFlowering · 28/02/2026 23:00

@probablynoted
You there?