To stay in bed when DP gets up with his child?

[probablynoted]

DP and I have lived together for 2 years, he has a son aged 5. There is constant tension because I don’t wake up on the weekends he’s here when he gets up (around 6am).

He is with us Monday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday every week.

DP has made comments saying “I’ve been lonely” when I’ve woken up around 8:30/9 and joined them in the living room. Weekdays I usually am up anyway because of work.

DP has said that going forward he wants us to be a “family” which involves me waking up and having breakfast together. He also expects me to look after his son if he’s going on a night out. For example, he’s told me next Saturday he’s out with friends. I’ve said I’m not able to look after his son, so he’s asked his mum (DPs mum).

Hes said that if we have a baby he’ll enjoy all the lie ins in getting.

aibu to not wake up with him and his little boy?

He shares the early mornings with his child’s mother who he does roughly 5050 with

you will share early mornings with your child’s father if you have one5050 too, tell him that

I would babysit if he asked nicely, went out after bedtime and I didn’t have my own plans tho

Don’t have a baby with this waster. He’ll use it as way to punish you via sleep deprivation. Needy child

You've posted about this before haven't you? Your purpose in the relationship is to take over childcare so he can avoid paying child maintenence. You'd be mad to have a baby with him.

Have you had a specific discussion about what your role is in relation to his son? It sounds like your expectations don't align.

Years ago, a friend of mine (who was in her 20s, same as me) started seeing a guy who had a little boy. I remember her telling me she'd been ironing the boy's clothes and making his dinner etc and it made me very confused. Wtf was his dad doing? Even now, I'd think that being with someone who has a child from another relationship doesn't automatically put you in the role of parent, unless there has been some explicit agreement.

1000000% this my lovely…..my DSD was 9 when I met my DH and she stayed eow ….she woke up about 7 ish and he would get up without disturbing me and spend a couple of hours with her and I would join them a couple of hours later…..if he had DARED try and guilt trip me I honestly would have called it a day with him….. but he understood what parenting entailed and nearly 20 years later we are still together and very happy and I have a wonderful relationship with my nearly 30 year old DSD….think very very carefully about this man….x

You would need to be brain dead to have a child with this man.
He is trying to push his parental responsibilities for his child onto you. What chance do you think you've got of him stepping up with one you share with him?

Choose to stay with him and have a shit life and be miserable. Or choose to have a happy life and leave.

Sounds like you dont want to be a mum to this little boy. Perhaps dating a man with kids was the wrong choice on your part.

I get up at 6.30 am every Saturday and Sunday because DC2 and I are early risers and once he’s awake, he’s awake. I do not expect DP to get up and join us eating toast and watching Peppa Pig in our pyjamas, no point in both of us losing sleep for nothing. Your DP is being massively unreasonable considering he’s not even your child. As soon as you have a child together he won’t get up at all, it will be all on you.

He thought you'd be his free childcare. Leave.

I didn't have dc with my exh because in time I saw he was a crap df.. And eventually a crap dh too!!
Make sure your contraception is spot on and reavalute your relationship..

She’s not the little boy’s mum, he already has a mum.

I'm a mum to both my sons and I never got up early on a weekend, dh did the early mornings.

Being a mum doesn't mean never having a lie-in.

He is with them half the week. She's still a mother figure even if not his biological mum. She cant just shrug him off.

YABU expecting the relationship to last OP. I'm without doubt older than you and I can tell you now this neediness on his part will drive you away eventually. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Never again.

He shares responsability for his dc with her mother. If he would have a dc with you he would share the getting up with you. Since he has made it clear he thinks a baby would be 100% your responsability you should take precaution to not become pregnant. You don't want your dc to have a crap dad. If you want to live with a crap partner who expects a nanny with a fanny that's on you. But don't drag another innocent child into this mess.

Yes, i remember this post

Who said she’s shrugging him off? She just isn’t getting up with him at 6am. His dad is. His dad shares the early mornings 50:50 with his child’s mum.

No mums can have lie ins as can dad's. Her whole post just sounds a bit off to me like she doesn't want to get involved.

This.

She doesn't want to be involved at 6am on a weekend. Who does?
But you have to for your own children.

Chuck him in the bin - he just wants a “nanny with a fanny” to use a MN classic.

He’s lonely because he has to parent his own fucking child? Boo fucking hoo.

Do Not Have a Child With This Waster.

Move out and move on!
He's showing what he actually wants, which is you to do all the work, even with his child. Don't have a child by him. Move out.

You need a new boyfriend.

This one sounds like he's priming you for as much future childcare as possible.

Won't be long before he's constantly telling you how really keen he is for you two to have a baby together.

I mean if you're looking after a baby anyway, you may as well look after his 5 year old, right?

I’m a step parent. I shared the get-ups with my husband but I was happy to do it, I married him knowing there were children involved and I wanted to be part of it.

You don’t. So this is a big red flag. Particularly if he is saying he won’t equally parent any children you may have together.