MIL planning her own party and didn’t invite me!

[ImaMothertoo]

MIL has planned a Mother’s Day afternoon tea party for herself.

She called dh to invite him today and made it clear the invite is ONLY for him ! He’s one of 5. She only wants her dc there ! Told him she’s arranged it early so that nobody else makes plans and we (the partners) all have notice 😂😂 she’s mad !

He told her that he already has plans and he will pop round the day before with her gifts !

AIBU to think she’s really rude to do this !

It all depends on whether you have kids yet.

Do you have children together? She must be nuts if so.

She is his mother...! She had every right to ask, just as he does to refuse.

Yes we have dc

I think this is genuinely hilarious!

My husband wouldn’t go either but I do think it’s just a brilliantly un-self-aware level of entitlement to attention and I almost admire her for it! Totally bizarre behaviour (assuming her children are also mothers/have partners who are mothers). If they are all childless it would make a bit more sense…

She wants to spend time with her kids on mother's day 🤷
What's mad about that?

This !

Just because she is excluding all partners ! She wants it to be her day only !

It’s a bit shit for her that your DH would only bother to see her the day before Mother’s Day. Obviously he needs to support his children in giving their mother a nice day assuming the are little, but that doesn’t mean his own Mum stops deserving recognition.

That's just selfish. Surely her adult girls have kids of their own, who might want to arrange something for their own mum?

Will his siblings go?

Very odd to plan this on Mother’s Day and not include partners especially if you have children.

i see Mother/Father’s Day as family time.

My ex mother in law wanted to monopolise my children on Mother’s Day. Instead of spending it with her sons lol. And leaving my daughters to spend it with me.

If you don’t have kids then I don’t see anything wrong with her inviting them, though it seems odd to exclude partners.

If you do have kids then she’s lost the plot. I’m glad your DH set her right! That said, I do think everyone should see their mothers on Mother’s Day, but not if the mother of their children is excluded from the event.

Yes, what's the problem with that?

I just feel if she was going to arrange something surely invite everybody?!

In which case your MIL is a batshit narcissist.

Oh dear, I think your MIL is on the thread OP 🤣

Yeah, that's nutso. He should see his Mum, of course, but also invite the partners, who I assume will include Mothers and Grandchildren.

Mother's Day changes as your children get older and have families of their own; people can either embrace the change or end up on their own.

The threads about Mothers Day on here every year are wild. I think the oddest comment I’ve seen on here over the years was “she’s had her turn”, as if a MIL stops being a mum because a partner comes along.

The comments will soon start calling the woman batshit crazy, narcissistic etc.

I’d happily send DH with the children for an afternoon of peace 🤣

I think this depends hugely on the age of your children. If they're under 10 and small then your dh should be doing special stuff with/for you. But if you've teenagers/ grown up kids then he can go celebrate his own mother.

5 kids and mil is very different to 5 kids and 5 partners and mil.

Hmmm it would be better if it was just all the mums going and all chilled and had cocktails leaving all the men to watch the kids lol.

my family did that one year and it was bliss 💕

BINGO!

IF the event is on Mother's Day and there are grandchildren then she is unreasonable to not only organise it but to expect just her own children to attend.

If she has organised the event but not on the actual day (ie not mothers day itself but a date close to it) then she's not being unreasonable.

She should want her daughters or daughters-in-law to be pampered by their partners and children. She's had the first twenty odd years already!

And leave the mothers of her grandchildren to look after them alone with no chance of a break or a nice day as a family on their mother's day?

Nope, I'm proudly childfree, thanks 😄

I don't understand why a woman would want to invite everyone's spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend to a few hours of an event specifically about her kids.

Christmas/birthdays or whatever, sure.