MIL planning her own party and didn’t invite me!

[ImaMothertoo]

MIL has planned a Mother’s Day afternoon tea party for herself.

She called dh to invite him today and made it clear the invite is ONLY for him ! He’s one of 5. She only wants her dc there ! Told him she’s arranged it early so that nobody else makes plans and we (the partners) all have notice 😂😂 she’s mad !

He told her that he already has plans and he will pop round the day before with her gifts !

AIBU to think she’s really rude to do this !

Banning the mothers of their children?

I think your DH deserves a round of applause. His mother is crackers.

How old are your children? If they’re over 10 you’re being really petty kicking up a fuss. Don’t you want to spend time with your own kids?

Because it would mean that the OP, who is also a mother, is left to look after the DC on Mother’s Day whilst her DH would get to go and relax (although if this is typical of his mum maybe it wouldn’t be that relaxing).

This is the type of MIL I never want to be.
Having children who then go on to choose a partner to have children of their own with but banning them from a Mother’s Day event is fucking insane.

Mother’s Day isn’t specifically about her kids, it’s about celebrating mothers. She wants her children to celebrate her, exclusively. She doesn’t want the mother’s of her grandchildren to share in that celebration. It must only be about her.

By contrast, when my DH called my MIL to ask if she was free for us to take her out for breakfast on Mother’s Day she said “that would be lovely, but I’m not the only mother to consider. Is your wife happy with that too?”.

Yeah I think this hinges on how old your DC are, but I don’t really see anything wrong with her wanting to spend time with her own DC without their partners present.

It’s just one day, I would let her crack on to be honest. Why shouldn’t she have a special tea with her children if that’s what she wants.

Because her kids have their own kids and it’s their mothers’ day too.

6,9 and 11

I wouldn’t mind at all if my husband went to my MIL’s for a few hours for Mother’s Day. I just don’t get women who have to be the centre of attention all day. If my MIL was having a get together and wanted a little fuss made of her, it wouldn’t bother me. Maybe you could celebrate at another point in the day?

He could spend a couple of hours with his mum and your children could spend a couple hours with their mum. I don’t see the problem tbh.

What do you think was going through her mind?!

Because it doesn’t allow for anyone else to be celebrated as a mother on that day. Just MiL.

So? Your kids can spend mother's day with you regardless of whether your husband sees his actual mother on mother's day can't they?

I don't see why it's an issue to do something as just them either.

Maybe she's assuming that you'll be seeing your own mother?

A meal or tea with just her children, not on Mother’s Day itself sounds lovely. It’s co-opting the day, when you have kids, that’s the problem.

My DM passed away a few years ago

But she’s not YOUR mum.

I don’t see the issue here OP, and I’m someone who hates their MIL.

She his mum. She wants to see her kids on md

you can spend all day with your kids - so surely she can spend a few hours with hers ?

You will be seeing your kids, no?
why does husband have to be around all day for that

I would have no problem at all with DS seeing me the day before Mother’s Day, especially if he had a wife and young children. Your MIL is bonkers OP!

Yes, with MIL being spoilt and fawned over by her kids, while OP is at home wrangling 3 kids on her own, on Mother's Day. It is her Husband's job to look after the Mother of his children too.

As someone who has also lost their Mum, Mother's Day is a kick in the twatspangle as it is, without being left alone.

It's unusual but I don't think it's particularly rude. You can have MD with your own DC. Or DH can take them and you can have a nice day to do what you like. I'd find it funny rather than offensive.

Was MIL taking up the whole day? She can spend time with her kids. Is that not what OP wants?