MIL planning her own party and didn’t invite me!

[ImaMothertoo]

MIL has planned a Mother’s Day afternoon tea party for herself.

She called dh to invite him today and made it clear the invite is ONLY for him ! He’s one of 5. She only wants her dc there ! Told him she’s arranged it early so that nobody else makes plans and we (the partners) all have notice 😂😂 she’s mad !

He told her that he already has plans and he will pop round the day before with her gifts !

AIBU to think she’s really rude to do this !

If it's a one-off then I don't really see the problem. Surely she can have her kids with her on mother's day once in a while?

You could do a mother's day breakfast with your kids and husband. Or celebrate the next day.

Good for her…..

excluding all parents not just you

suck it up, simples

If the MIL is an afternoon thing then how about the morning and evening?

You are talking a 2/3 hours thing I guess

Except OP doesn’t have to suck it up, because her DH had the sense to tell her to bugger off. So now MIL has to deal with not seeing her son, and a DIL who’s pissed off with her.

Ofcourse you aren’t being unreasonable op. Anyone who says you are, after reading all your posts, are mad.

Mums of young kids see their kids all the time. I doubt OP wants to 'see' her kids on Mother's Day, she wants to have a bit of a fuss made. Why should MIL get all the fuss and OP gets to look after her kids alone? How is that a treat?

And you want it to be "your day" only, so what's so crazy about this?

"Tea" isn't "all day" either.

Awwwww bless

tjat was her wishes, don’t like it? Ah well

Yes, he should at least spend part of day with her. OP maybe your children will be like him and not see you on mothers day when they are adults.

I’m really glad your husband has said no, great that he’s got your back. I think this is a wild suggestion from her when you have kids, and presumably some of your brothers siblings do too. I get she wants Mother’s Day to be all about her, but she has to remember there are other mothers in the family and her needs/wants don’t trump yours!

With 5 DSs, add 5 partners, then kids, it’s not just an afternoon tea, it becomes a small party!

@Snowyowl99 if DS has DC with a partner I would be okay if he wanted to spend time with them rather than me

If it's only a day in the calendar and doesn't matter, why doesn't the MIL have her tea party the next Sunday? Or any other day of the year?

It's not going to take up the whole day. He's just having tea and cake whilst he visits. Or are you expecting him not to visit his mum on mothers day?

1. Are the grandkids invited?
2. Does she have all sons?
3. If no and no, is she expecting her daughters to not spend mother's day with their own children?

Does she have daughters who also have their own kids (and by attending wouldn't spend the day with those kids)?

She is his mother. If he would like to spend this time with her, he should do that.

When your children are old enough to understand the point of the day (presumung they aren't already), they can thank you for being their mother in a similar way.

All the angst around this day is ridiculous.

Wow thats self absorbed. I can only imagine how upset I'd have been if my grandmothers didn't want to see me on Mother's Day when I was a kid.

That’s extra selfish in light of your Mothers passing. Is she always this ridiculous?

She should have asked first and arranged it for a different day.

Well to be fair, she's probably assuming that her children's five spouses might need to see their own mothers on Mother's Day. She's trying to anticipate that and the risk that she'll not see any of her own children because they've all been commandeered to visit their MILs instead, so she's getting her invitations in early. It's quite a good plan when you think about it. By only inviting her own children and not their spouses she can't be accused of trying to keep them from their own mothers, which is what would probably have happened if she'd invited you as well.

If one of your kids is a boy, some day in the future you might just want a Mother’s Day with just your kids. And if your son says no how would you feel? Honestly?

I hope I can still spend some time, on some Mother’s Day with just my two girls. Kids and partners Chang dynamics and don’t always make for easy conversations.

I would have absolutely no issue with my DH doing this. But then I don’t really put any relevance on Mother’s Day.

I hate comments like this, it's just cruel. It's like you're making out someone's a shit parent becuase they'd rather not have to solo parent. I'm sure, like most mums, OP spends a great amount of time alone with her kids, yes kids she loves, kids than whine and nag, ask for
things constantly and bicker.

A mother isn't wrong, or lazy, or unloving or a shit mum for wanting one day in a year where the children's other parent takes on the drudgery and makes her feel appreciated.

Women aren't childish or selfish for wanting abit of love and appreciation once in a while.

If its just a day in the calender and no big deal then MIL can arrange to see her children any other time.

It’s weird af. And a great way to make ur d/s in law not give 2fks about u for any other time. I would refuse to see her any other times she wants like Xmas or birthdays etc, ur too busy with ur OWN child to see her.

Perhaps she feels that her DC don’t treat her on Mother’s Day or make her feel special. She’s thought right you buggers I’ll sort it myself then and you’re coming!
it’s quite amusing actually. I’d humour her. It’s a couple of hours in one day. Maybe her DC and your DH will sort something out for her next year in advance to take back the control!