MIL planning her own party and didn’t invite me!

556 replies

ImaMothertoo · 26/02/2026 18:40

MIL has planned a Mother’s Day afternoon tea party for herself.

She called dh to invite him today and made it clear the invite is ONLY for him ! He’s one of 5. She only wants her dc there ! Told him she’s arranged it early so that nobody else makes plans and we (the partners) all have notice 😂😂 she’s mad !

He told her that he already has plans and he will pop round the day before with her gifts !

AIBU to think she’s really rude to do this !

OP posts:

Aiming4Optimistic · 04/03/2026 14:30

I think we have different ideas about what constitutes reasonable. Personally, I wouldn't have any issue with looking after my own kids on Mother's Day.

SweetnsourNZ · 04/03/2026 14:38

TanquerayTickles · 26/02/2026 18:51

Yeah, that's nutso. He should see his Mum, of course, but also invite the partners, who I assume will include Mothers and Grandchildren.

Mother's Day changes as your children get older and have families of their own; people can either embrace the change or end up on their own.

Wonder if she has been on her own for the last several mothers days and has cooked up a little fantasy in her head because of this. Maybe siblings could do something in the evening just this once if she is usually OK and not demanding.

SweetnsourNZ · 04/03/2026 14:49

Zhu · 26/02/2026 19:15

A meal or tea with just her children, not on Mother’s Day itself sounds lovely. It’s co-opting the day, when you have kids, that’s the problem.

Yes. Think mum is just feeling a bit nostalgic for the before partners day. I love my boys partners but it is nice to see just them sometimes. The dynamic is different even between them. She should choose another day though if mother's day is important to you.
The other thing to consider is maybe she has something important to discuss with them and is using Mother's day as a cover.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 04/03/2026 20:58

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/03/2026 13:23

A mum of young children should NOT be left doing solo parenting on Mothers’ day, @Aiming4Optimistic.

If the OP’s MIL had wanted to organise a party on Mothers’ day for herself, her children and their spouses and children, that would have been more reasonable - it would have acknowledged that her children are also parents with responsibilities, and that her DILs also deserve looking after on Mothers’ day - but that is not what she did. Her Mothers’ day gift for her DILs is to try to make them look after their small children on their own, while she monopolises the attention of her sons, because she does not consider her DILs or her grandchildren to be family.

Not everyone thinks like you though. So you can say that - but it’s not a rule.

what about single mums?

TheOtherBear · 05/03/2026 15:02

Aiming4Optimistic · 03/03/2026 17:27

@bigboykittyit wasn't me who used the 'Sarah must have her Dh with her on all major occasions because her mother is dead' argument. I'm merely pointing out that other people have similar circumstances (maybe even mil) and it's not a reason for mil to never have time just with her own dc on Mother's Day occasionally.
I say this as someone whose parent died late last year and who is about to experience a lot of 'firsts'. I won't be using that to stop other people from being with their own parent on this day. To be fair to the OP she hasn't used this as a reason - it's being used by another poster to make mil seem more unreasonable than she might otherwise.

Assuming you mean me, you can tag me and we can debate it, if you want? Even if we end up disagreeing.

I'm really sorry to hear about your parent.

Heidi0307a12 · 05/03/2026 15:53

Absolutely it's rude! I hope all her children say they'll just pop in with cards, then leave! Are any of you parents? Why does she think she's the only mother? You may all be doing your own stuff with your kids for Mother's Day.

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