To leave my DD and go to CentreParcs?

[GReenasheet]

DD is 34 and six months pregnant. Unfortunately she is on her own in this pregnancy (first child) as her partner has walked out. I don’t know the exact circumstances as she had only known him
a couple of years. She’s now moved back to her own home she was previously renting out. She hasn’t heard from him for several months.

Very understandably she is in a state though been coping as well as she can. It’s caused DH and I a lot of stress as we fear she is going to be very reliant on us when the baby is born. It’s been a worrying time and a few months ago our other daughter had planned a week at centre Parca for her and her husband, her two dc and her in laws and us. It’s been in the diary for months.

Our pregnant DD found out on Friday that she has gestational diabetes, she’s slim and eats well so we were surprised by this. She’s been on the phone all weekend and saying she doesn’t want to be alone this week and asking me not to go to centre par a so I can stay with her. We’ve invited her and said we will drive if she drives to our house (on the way to centre parcs for her) and she’s been shouting at me and making me feel awful saying she doesn’t want to go there with her sister’s in laws and she doesn’t want to travel etc. It’s only an hour away and the change of scenery would be so good for her. DH has said absolutely not to give in to her and that we’ve offered for her to come and it’s been booked for months.

I don’t think IABU necessarily but wondering what others would do as DD is making me feel horrendous about going. It’s fair to go if we’ve invited her to come?

YANBU

She is 34 and throwing a tantrum.
She's been offered a week away, but is trying to guilt you into staying home and looking after her?
She's about to be a mum, she needs to grow up.

@MargeryBargery thank you, this is mine and DH’s view. We’ve said she is more than welcome

I’d be very worried about her two children with her

Different daughter has 2 dc

@Sisandbro81 our DD who is pregnant doesn’t have children it’s her first pregnancy

She's 34. She needs to behave like a responsible adult because, very soon, she will have to take care of a vulnerable infant.
You were absolutely right to go on the pre-arranged trip, OP. You also need to be careful going forward - of course it will be OK to help occasionally, but don't get into the habit of dropping everything whenever your daughter makes a fuss. You need to be tough and stand up to her.

She's in the wrong. But it doesn't sound like you like her very much. This can't be new behaviour.

Team DH.

I didn't pick up on that at all, where did you get the impression OP doesn't like her?

You need to still go @GReenasheet not only for your wellbeing but for your other dd.

I would be very hurt if I was the other dd and you didn’t come.

Ah I see

Does your daughter get on with her sister and her sisters in law family?

I would be so worried about how the HELL my dd is going to parent. She doesn’t sound pleasant or that she can even look after herself.

Does she work?

Gestational diabetes has absolutely nothing to
do with weight or diet pre or during pregnancy. It is the pregnancy that causes it-nothing else. I had it and it really gets on my nerves that people act as though it is something we caused by an unhealthy lifestyle. It is not the same as type 2 diabetes- although there is a greater chance of developing that later. It is just one of those things that an unlucky proportion of the population develops.

She isn’t ill and she needs no more “looking after” than any other pregnant woman. Absolutely do not give in to the ridiculous demands and put boundaries in place now for the future.

I think you need to let her stand on her own two feet. She may want you with her (understandable) but she doesn't need you. She is far too reliant on you to the point I would be concerned about her ability to parent independently.

Thank you for the reassuring replies!

Wrong
obesity is a risk factor for onset of gestational diabetes during pregnancy

🙄

Your DD is being unreasonable.

Gestational diabetes also isn't dependent on your weight- having a higher BMI is one at risk category but there are many others and its not caused by diet.

She is the only person who can take control of her GD and she needs to get her head around it fast but definitely get her to read the GD UK website and join the Facebook page https://www.gestationaldiabetes.co.uk/

Definitely still go, I get why you are worried for you daughter, but she is also invited! You and your husband deserve to enjoy yourselves with your other daughter and grandchildren.

I feel for your daughter, I really do, but she has to put her big girl pants on now

It is a fair point

This behaviour can’t have come out of the blue

It's important that you go as it sets a precedent going forward that she cannot expect you to drop everything for her. She will be fine for the week and will realise that she can cope being pregnant on her own for a bit.

Exactly this. I had GD I think it was more likely in my case as I have PCOS and am insulin resistant.

I was still at work when ds was born travelling all over the country. I got back Friday and was due to travel to Scotland on the Monday but had DS on the Sunday instead. She's being very unreasonable you're only an hour away, I get she might not fancy the trip not everyone does in pregnancy but there's no reason for you to not go

She's being completely unreasonable. Unfortunately she's going to have to get used to managing on her own at times. You don't want her being too dependant on you so you'll have to say no at times. She shouldn't be acting like that, you're still in the same country and she's invited, shame on her. She can have friends stay and make other plans. Other members may resent her if you cancel. Chin up.

She’s pregnant, emotions and hormones are high, her partner has walked out on her and she is facing being a 1st time mother alone, surely that would make anyone act out! She deserves some grace, but of course doesn’t mean she can be a brat.

Don't let your other DD down because your pregnant DD is having a strop. Yes she is having a tough time, but she is perfectly capable of either being home alone or coming with you. Plus it's not far away.

You are not moving a million miles away, you are simply having a few days away. Let her and her hormones calm down while you go and enjoy yourselves.