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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave my DD and go to CentreParcs?

220 replies

GReenasheet · 22/02/2026 15:01

DD is 34 and six months pregnant. Unfortunately she is on her own in this pregnancy (first child) as her partner has walked out. I don’t know the exact circumstances as she had only known him
a couple of years. She’s now moved back to her own home she was previously renting out. She hasn’t heard from him for several months.

Very understandably she is in a state though been coping as well as she can. It’s caused DH and I a lot of stress as we fear she is going to be very reliant on us when the baby is born. It’s been a worrying time and a few months ago our other daughter had planned a week at centre Parca for her and her husband, her two dc and her in laws and us. It’s been in the diary for months.

Our pregnant DD found out on Friday that she has gestational diabetes, she’s slim and eats well so we were surprised by this. She’s been on the phone all weekend and saying she doesn’t want to be alone this week and asking me not to go to centre par a so I can stay with her. We’ve invited her and said we will drive if she drives to our house (on the way to centre parcs for her) and she’s been shouting at me and making me feel awful saying she doesn’t want to go there with her sister’s in laws and she doesn’t want to travel etc. It’s only an hour away and the change of scenery would be so good for her. DH has said absolutely not to give in to her and that we’ve offered for her to come and it’s been booked for months.

I don’t think IABU necessarily but wondering what others would do as DD is making me feel horrendous about going. It’s fair to go if we’ve invited her to come?

OP posts:
Bloozie · 22/02/2026 15:48

She's being completely unreasonable. I like the bit that she doesn't want to be on her own at the weekend - so can you cancel your whole week away to be with her? She'll go back to work on Monday and you can go back home to your empty house...

Let's be charitable and call it pregnancy hormones. But nope. She's being a controlling baby.

BudgetBuster · 22/02/2026 15:51

Hiptothisjive · 22/02/2026 15:45

What are you on about? I was slim and perfectly healthy and ate immaculately due to pregnancy and got it anyone. Please don’t armchair medically give information.

Of the 10 in my NHS class all were slim and were surprised as the age well too.

Not okay with victim blaming on this one.

Show quote history

Victim blaming?
With factual information?

BMI is a risk factor. Age is also a risk factor. Lots of other things are risk factors.

Mymanyellow · 22/02/2026 15:52

I think you should go otherwise you’ll be disappointing your other dd.
Time to set some boundaries too you’ll no doubt be helping her plenty once the baby is here.

90sTrifle · 22/02/2026 15:53

GReenasheet · 22/02/2026 15:01

DD is 34 and six months pregnant. Unfortunately she is on her own in this pregnancy (first child) as her partner has walked out. I don’t know the exact circumstances as she had only known him
a couple of years. She’s now moved back to her own home she was previously renting out. She hasn’t heard from him for several months.

Very understandably she is in a state though been coping as well as she can. It’s caused DH and I a lot of stress as we fear she is going to be very reliant on us when the baby is born. It’s been a worrying time and a few months ago our other daughter had planned a week at centre Parca for her and her husband, her two dc and her in laws and us. It’s been in the diary for months.

Our pregnant DD found out on Friday that she has gestational diabetes, she’s slim and eats well so we were surprised by this. She’s been on the phone all weekend and saying she doesn’t want to be alone this week and asking me not to go to centre par a so I can stay with her. We’ve invited her and said we will drive if she drives to our house (on the way to centre parcs for her) and she’s been shouting at me and making me feel awful saying she doesn’t want to go there with her sister’s in laws and she doesn’t want to travel etc. It’s only an hour away and the change of scenery would be so good for her. DH has said absolutely not to give in to her and that we’ve offered for her to come and it’s been booked for months.

I don’t think IABU necessarily but wondering what others would do as DD is making me feel horrendous about going. It’s fair to go if we’ve invited her to come?

If she wants to be with you and DH then she’d better get packing and join you at CP.

Don’t change your plans because she said so, she doesn’t get to rule your life at 34 years old. If you did stay home, you’ll be making a rod for your own back, especially when her baby comes along - she’ll have you at her beck & call.

If she was 8/9 months pregnant I’d say stay but 6 months, absolutely not. Go away and enjoy yourself. If she argues, tell her to ‘grow-the-hell-up!’

Blindsided2025 · 22/02/2026 15:53

Go and give yourself a break. It’s a few days, you’re not emigrating. Also, as someone who had GD, it’s really not as much of a big deal as she’s making out. She’s a 34 year old woman who’s soon to become a mother and needs to learn to cope better.

Anonymouseposter · 22/02/2026 15:54

I think you should go. It’s not far away, you have invited her. If she was near her due date I wouldn’t go. I would just tell her that it’s been arranged for a long time and you’re going. She’s welcome if she wants to join you but otherwise you’ll only be away for a week. I think the person saying that it doesn’t sound as if you like her was being snarky. Her behaviour over this would naturally be annoying, it doesn’t mean you dislike her generally. Of course you will want to help her going forward but be very clear about what you can do and what you can’t do.

Turnups · 22/02/2026 15:54

DH is right. Of course you want to help your DD but she is being very selfish. It’s not as if she’s about to give birth any day, and in any case you’ve offered to take her with you. Don’t let her spoil your break or your relationship with your other DD.

viques · 22/02/2026 15:56

go and enjoy CP with the other grandchildren. It will do your other daughter no harm to understand that while you are willing to help ( see above when you asked her to join you) you are not going to be at her beck and call, sadly she is going to have to woman up , learn to be self reliant and build up a range of people to support her and not rely on you dropping everything to rush to her side for non emergencies.

ginasevern · 22/02/2026 15:56

@GReenasheet I suspect, reading between the lines, that your DD has some history of being difficult? Forgive me if I'm wrong about that. In any event, she is now being a spoilt brat. Go to Centre Parcs and don't give in to emotional blackmail. And don't become the default parent for her baby.

Starlight7080 · 22/02/2026 15:58

She is to old to be throwing a tantrum and trying to guilt you. She needs to stand on her own two feet. She isnt the first woman to be in this situation. And you giving into her wont help her longterm. She needs to learn to cope for her child's sake.
If she was 19 then it would be totally different.

ttcat37 · 22/02/2026 15:58

I can’t imagine leaving my child when they’re alone and scared. 34 weeks no wonder she doesn’t want to go on a holiday that she wasn’t invited to and socialise. GD isn’t without its risks and she’s frightened.

weegielass · 22/02/2026 15:59

I think your daughter is just scared what with her relationship ending, having to change where she lives, having to be a single mum, being a first time mum and the health risks. She can't vent to her ex so she's venting to you.
Not saying you should give in, but I can understand her behaviour.

Daleksatemyshed · 22/02/2026 15:59

Go on your holiday Op. Your DD is understandably feeling fragile at the moment but you can't go and spend every weekend with her, or move in with her once she leaves work until the baby comes.

90sTrifle · 22/02/2026 16:00

ttcat37 · 22/02/2026 15:58

I can’t imagine leaving my child when they’re alone and scared. 34 weeks no wonder she doesn’t want to go on a holiday that she wasn’t invited to and socialise. GD isn’t without its risks and she’s frightened.

She’s 34 years old and 24 weeks pregnant.
She can cope for 7 days.

MrsMitford3 · 22/02/2026 16:01

I also think you should go-important for you to have a boundary here because I suspect she will push as much as she can and you are going to have to be very clear as the baby approaches/arrives...

Whoinvented · 22/02/2026 16:01

Fuck me … tell her to grow up.:. I had gestational diabetes it was no big deal. I had to prick my finger a few times a day. My pregnancy didn’t involve anyone else!

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:03

I'm finding your OP and the responses very odd.

This is your daughter, not some random relative. She's pregnant with her first child and her partner has left her, but you don't know the exact circumstances - why not? How do you know so little about your own daughter's life?

You say 'It’s caused DH and I a lot of stress as we fear she is going to be very reliant on us when the baby is born.' That strikes me as an extremely strange way to react to the genuine difficulty your own child is experiencing. It's causing you stress? Is that all you care about? Surely you would want your daughter, who is unexpectedly going to be a single mother, to rely on you for support, given you're her mother? Am I missing something?

I can understand you wanting to go on holiday and in general that's not unreasonable. But something about how you talk about your daughter gives me the chills. She sounds very very upset. In that situation I would want to go to my DD and comfort her. But that's no how you're feeling. Do you feel she's overdramatising things? Do you dislike her?

I can't understand why everyone is saying that she needs to grow up. This isn't a toddler demanding more biscuits, this is a woman in a very stressful situation asking her parents for support. To me that seems like a very reasonable request. There's no way I'd go to CP and leave my pregnant daughter to struggle. But I love my DD and I want the best for her. I thought that was pretty standard.

I am baffled.

BudgetBuster · 22/02/2026 16:03

ttcat37 · 22/02/2026 15:58

I can’t imagine leaving my child when they’re alone and scared. 34 weeks no wonder she doesn’t want to go on a holiday that she wasn’t invited to and socialise. GD isn’t without its risks and she’s frightened.

She's nowhere near 34 weeks.
She's aged 34 and a grown adult

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 22/02/2026 16:05

Ah, you are all being a bit harsh. She’s obviously going through it and very hormonal but she is being unreasonable as we all know. She’s delicate at the moment so be kind but say ‘we will be going, everyone inc you would be disappointed if you didn’t but you are at the end of the phone- cone and join us for a lovely chill time before baby gets here’ if she doesn’t for whatever reason, maybe suggest a little weekend treat for you both soon.
Being pregnant can be scary and she’s doing it without a partner, everything probably feels a bit overwhelming.

BudgetBuster · 22/02/2026 16:06

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:03

I'm finding your OP and the responses very odd.

This is your daughter, not some random relative. She's pregnant with her first child and her partner has left her, but you don't know the exact circumstances - why not? How do you know so little about your own daughter's life?

You say 'It’s caused DH and I a lot of stress as we fear she is going to be very reliant on us when the baby is born.' That strikes me as an extremely strange way to react to the genuine difficulty your own child is experiencing. It's causing you stress? Is that all you care about? Surely you would want your daughter, who is unexpectedly going to be a single mother, to rely on you for support, given you're her mother? Am I missing something?

I can understand you wanting to go on holiday and in general that's not unreasonable. But something about how you talk about your daughter gives me the chills. She sounds very very upset. In that situation I would want to go to my DD and comfort her. But that's no how you're feeling. Do you feel she's overdramatising things? Do you dislike her?

I can't understand why everyone is saying that she needs to grow up. This isn't a toddler demanding more biscuits, this is a woman in a very stressful situation asking her parents for support. To me that seems like a very reasonable request. There's no way I'd go to CP and leave my pregnant daughter to struggle. But I love my DD and I want the best for her. I thought that was pretty standard.

I am baffled.

But how is she struggling?
She's 34... only 6 months pregnant so not at a risky stage... her partner left her MONTHS ago.

Trying to trick your parents into cancelling holiday plans with their other grandchildren is just petty childlike behaviour.

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:09

BudgetBuster · 22/02/2026 16:06

But how is she struggling?
She's 34... only 6 months pregnant so not at a risky stage... her partner left her MONTHS ago.

Trying to trick your parents into cancelling holiday plans with their other grandchildren is just petty childlike behaviour.

Show quote history

She's clearly struggling - why else would she be on the phone asking for help? Everyone seems to be assuming she's just making it up. Why would she do that?

I can't understand at all why you'd say she's 'tricking' her parents - where did the OP say she was doing that?

Anonymouseposter · 22/02/2026 16:10

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:03

I'm finding your OP and the responses very odd.

This is your daughter, not some random relative. She's pregnant with her first child and her partner has left her, but you don't know the exact circumstances - why not? How do you know so little about your own daughter's life?

You say 'It’s caused DH and I a lot of stress as we fear she is going to be very reliant on us when the baby is born.' That strikes me as an extremely strange way to react to the genuine difficulty your own child is experiencing. It's causing you stress? Is that all you care about? Surely you would want your daughter, who is unexpectedly going to be a single mother, to rely on you for support, given you're her mother? Am I missing something?

I can understand you wanting to go on holiday and in general that's not unreasonable. But something about how you talk about your daughter gives me the chills. She sounds very very upset. In that situation I would want to go to my DD and comfort her. But that's no how you're feeling. Do you feel she's overdramatising things? Do you dislike her?

I can't understand why everyone is saying that she needs to grow up. This isn't a toddler demanding more biscuits, this is a woman in a very stressful situation asking her parents for support. To me that seems like a very reasonable request. There's no way I'd go to CP and leave my pregnant daughter to struggle. But I love my DD and I want the best for her. I thought that was pretty standard.

I am baffled.

OP isn’t saying she’s going to leave her daughter in the lurch. She has another daughter and grandchildren and is only going to be away for a short time. If it was near the due date it would be different.

Silverbirchleaf · 22/02/2026 16:10

Can you compromise and say you’ll FaceTime every evening, so you’re still in contact?

YourJoyousDenimExpert · 22/02/2026 16:13

Definitely keep to your plan and go and don’t be guilt tripped. Your daughter still has 3 months to go! She will be fine - and you invited her to join you anyway. Don’t let her start dictating and expecting you will always give in to her demands- it’s a slippery slope. I am sure you will provide all the support she needs and it is actually selfish of her to ask you to give up such a nice trip when she isn’t even excluded.

socks1107 · 22/02/2026 16:13

Go to centre parcs, she’s a grown woman who can cope for a few days