To leave my DD and go to CentreParcs?

[GReenasheet]

DD is 34 and six months pregnant. Unfortunately she is on her own in this pregnancy (first child) as her partner has walked out. I don’t know the exact circumstances as she had only known him
a couple of years. She’s now moved back to her own home she was previously renting out. She hasn’t heard from him for several months.

Very understandably she is in a state though been coping as well as she can. It’s caused DH and I a lot of stress as we fear she is going to be very reliant on us when the baby is born. It’s been a worrying time and a few months ago our other daughter had planned a week at centre Parca for her and her husband, her two dc and her in laws and us. It’s been in the diary for months.

Our pregnant DD found out on Friday that she has gestational diabetes, she’s slim and eats well so we were surprised by this. She’s been on the phone all weekend and saying she doesn’t want to be alone this week and asking me not to go to centre par a so I can stay with her. We’ve invited her and said we will drive if she drives to our house (on the way to centre parcs for her) and she’s been shouting at me and making me feel awful saying she doesn’t want to go there with her sister’s in laws and she doesn’t want to travel etc. It’s only an hour away and the change of scenery would be so good for her. DH has said absolutely not to give in to her and that we’ve offered for her to come and it’s been booked for months.

I don’t think IABU necessarily but wondering what others would do as DD is making me feel horrendous about going. It’s fair to go if we’ve invited her to come?

She sounds bonkers OP. Does she have form for brattiness pre pregnancy?

It's one risk but there are multiple risks not just obesity. Ethnicity, family history, a previous large baby etc etc etc.

It does get annoying when you have GD and people's first reaction is but your slim or were you eating too much sugar.

It's stressful enough to get your head around that just by having a meal there is potential to damage your baby if you don't keep sugars under control let alone dealing with other people's judgement.

It's also completely not linear to what spikes your sugars - I couldn't eat greek yogurt with GD sent my sugars over 10 but I could eat rice with very little effect. Fasting overnight sugars are a minefield to keep in check and all of it is trial and error which is specific to the individual.

The GD group recommended above is excellent. If she follows their advice she could manage to stay off medication (I did and was diagnosed at 20 weeks)

YANBU op.
Go and enjoy your time with your GC.

Perhaps give her a couple of days to see sense but set a limit.

I.e. "we are going to Centre Parks. I've made a commitment and won't be changing that. We'd all like you to come but you need to let me know by Wednesday what the plan is."

You can't have the is she coming or not dragging on either but perhaps she just needs a day or so to wallow.

I guess the in laws could be seen to her as rubbing her face in what she doesn't have/ won't have for her child.

Perhaps make clear that isolating herself won't bring those things back but building relationships so that her child enjoys a wider family life could be positive.

Your DD needs to grow up, and fast.

She's 34 and pregnant. She isn't an invalid.
She is only 6 months so unlikely she's going into labour this week.

You and DH are absolutely entitled to a holiday and even moreoso given it's with your grandchildren.

Indeed

But poster said weight had “absolutely nothing” to do with it, which is patently wrong

Your daughter is going through a crisis. Her partner has walked out on her and she is now on her own dealing with a pregnancy. If you’re not going to be there for her in her time of need then I sincerely hope she doesn’t bother helping you or your husband when it is your time of need.

The fact that ‘childcare’ as in helping out with your grandchildren is causing you and your DH great stress tells me everything. You better have a fantastically funded retirement plan op.

I think the assumption is it's only people with a high BMI that get GD and it gets very frustrating very quickly having to explain it. You can also have zero risk factors and still get it as its related to the placenta.

So yes it is 1 risk factor but not the only risk factor and last time I checked in with GD UK info it was <20% percentage that were in that category (that comes with the caveat I'm 4 years out as I had it with DS2)

Unfortunately GD has a lot of preconceptions and misinformation with people thinking it's the mother's fault.

The poster made an incorrect statement
I correct the poster
the end

Go to CP. Have fun.

You are wrong. Obese women have a higher chance of it yes but it is absolutely not only linked to weight only or diet. I had it with my twins and I was a normal weight and healthy with them. It's the placenta being resistent to insulin. I was and am not overweight or diabetic before or since. I didn't get it with my pregnancy after my boys. It's hormonal. There's a lot shame around this condition and misinformation

Sweet Jesus

Do you understand what “a risk factor” means??

Still go. It’s an hour away so if any emergencies you can get there quickly.

Her partner walked out months ago.. they've supported her since and will in the future. They are entitled to a weekend away. She was also invited on said break but is too entitled to go.

That's inaccurate.
Women who are overweight (BMI of 30 or more) are 3 times more likely to get gestational diabetes.

Women who are not fat also get it - my younger sister who is a size 10 got it both times she was pregnant. However, she eats a lot of junk food (takeaways) which I suspect contributed to this problem despite not being overweight.

In these circumstances I would stay with her. She’s going through the most stressful time with the break up plus the addition of GD which is pretty awful; she needs her mum.

Harsh from @OneGreySeal !

The DD is 34, she's nowhere near her due date and managed GT doesn't mean she needs to be babysat for 3 months. She's a grown woman and she'll be fine. You're only a phonecall away in the extremely unlikely case that she needs support.

She's acting unreasonably. You deserve your CP break with your other daughter and grandchildren, OP.

Could it agree more!!!!!

It’s insulting that somehow pregnant women gwt gestational diabetes because of something they have done or are (poor diet or overweight).

Having it sucks but easily manageable.

Go to Center Parcs.

Obesity is a risk factor

FACT

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gestational-diabetes/

You need to go on your planned trip as cancelling would not be fair on your other daughter and your grandchildren.
I imagine you will be supporting your pregnant daughter a lot when the baby arrives and perhaps you need to remind her of this.

What are you on about? I was slim and perfectly healthy and ate immaculately due to pregnancy and got it anyone. Please don’t armchair medically give information.

Of the 10 in my NHS class all were slim and were surprised as the age well too.

Not okay with victim blaming on this one.

Omg

seriously

Obesity is A risk factor!!!! Fact

Thank you

hopefully those in doubt will read it