Page 4 | To leave my DD and go to CentreParcs?

GReenasheet · 2026-02-22T15:01:52+00:00

DD is 34 and six months pregnant. Unfortunately she is on her own in this pregnancy (first child) as her partner has walked out. I don’t know the exact circumstances as she had only known him a couple of years. She’s now moved back to her own home she was previously renting out. She hasn’t heard from him for several months. Very understandably she is in a state though been coping as well as she can. It’s caused DH and I a lot of stress as we fear she is going to be very reliant on us when the baby is born. It’s been a worrying time and a few months ago our other daughter had planned a week at centre Parca for her and her husband, her two dc and her in laws and us. It’s been in the diary for months. Our pregnant DD found out on Friday that she has gestational diabetes, she’s slim and eats well so we were surprised by this. She’s been on the phone all weekend and saying she doesn’t want to be alone this week and asking me not to go to centre par a so I can stay with her. We’ve invited her and said we will drive if she drives to our house (on the way to centre parcs for her) and she’s been shouting at me and making me feel awful saying she doesn’t want to go there with her sister’s in laws and she doesn’t want to travel etc. It’s only an hour away and the change of scenery would be so good for her. DH has said absolutely not to give in to her and that we’ve offered for her to come and it’s been booked for months. I don’t think IABU necessarily but wondering what others would do as DD is making me feel horrendous about going. It’s fair to go if we’ve invited her to come?

BudgetBuster · 22/02/2026 16:14

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:09

She's clearly struggling - why else would she be on the phone asking for help? Everyone seems to be assuming she's just making it up. Why would she do that?

I can't understand at all why you'd say she's 'tricking' her parents - where did the OP say she was doing that?

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Re tricking.... I meant guilt tripping really.
She's been shouting at her mother on the phone about this trip away and saying she doesn't want to be alone etc.

She might be struggling emotionally but the OP shouldn't put everyone's lives on hold. There is NO reason that either the daughter can't go on the trip with everyone else or stay home and get on with it.

She wasn't left this week. Her partner left months ago. You can be sad and struggle but still be a considerate adult and realise your parents are allowed a break.

Lilactimes · 22/02/2026 16:14

ttcat37 · 22/02/2026 15:58

I can’t imagine leaving my child when they’re alone and scared. 34 weeks no wonder she doesn’t want to go on a holiday that she wasn’t invited to and socialise. GD isn’t without its risks and she’s frightened.

you know she's 34 right?

I did pregnancy on my own, completely and moved house. Called my mum when I went into labour and she travelled to get there and was pretty helpful for first 6 weeks and then off and on after that.

Your DD is entitled to be scared and upset - she's not entitled to bully you especially if she could come with you. I did this with my brother and SIL to centre Parcs when I was 6 months pregnant and it was a good break for me.

Hope you've resolved it. She will need to toughen up if she's going to be a single mum - sad to say xx

Ilovefoodandwine · 22/02/2026 16:14

I imagine she would ruin your trip if she came

converseandjeans · 22/02/2026 16:15

I think you need to spend time with the other two grandchildren & she can just spend her weekend relaxing. What is she planning to do if you spend the weekend with her? You could end up just hanging around with nothing to do.

AgnesMcDoo · 22/02/2026 16:17

YANBU

she goes with you or she stays ar
home by herself

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:20

BudgetBuster · 22/02/2026 16:14

Re tricking.... I meant guilt tripping really.
She's been shouting at her mother on the phone about this trip away and saying she doesn't want to be alone etc.

She might be struggling emotionally but the OP shouldn't put everyone's lives on hold. There is NO reason that either the daughter can't go on the trip with everyone else or stay home and get on with it.

She wasn't left this week. Her partner left months ago. You can be sad and struggle but still be a considerate adult and realise your parents are allowed a break.

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Where did the OP say her DD was shouting?

Everyone seems to assume the DD is manipulative. I haven't seen the OP say that at all. Maybe she is, but there isn't any reason to think so. I would assume first that this is a woman who's going through a tough time who has asked her parents for help, which to me seems pretty normal.

LovingLimePeer · 22/02/2026 16:22

Is she panicking she might go into labour early and that's why she's scared of being alone?
Is she looking up complications of gestational diabetes and working herself up. Is she showing signs of perinatal anxiety?

Often strange behaviour comes from a place of fear. I would gently explore this with her - she sounds frightened to be alone right now, which is understandable. It's hard enough having a first baby, even with a partner present.

PussInBin20 · 22/02/2026 16:23

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:20

Where did the OP say her DD was shouting?

Everyone seems to assume the DD is manipulative. I haven't seen the OP say that at all. Maybe she is, but there isn't any reason to think so. I would assume first that this is a woman who's going through a tough time who has asked her parents for help, which to me seems pretty normal.

Edited

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In her OP, 3rd paragraph.

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:23

Also it may be the case that her partner left months ago but that doesn't mean she should be over it - it may be the case that the GD has made her feel even more alone and vulnerable and it's hitting her how difficult things are going to be.

In my world, it's standard to want to help close family that are struggling even if they can't give a great justification for it and even if it might mean missing a holiday.

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:24

PussInBin20 · 22/02/2026 16:23

In her OP, 3rd paragraph.

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Ah I missed it. Shouting isn't great but again it's not clear why she's shouting - is it because she's a demanding cow, or she's hit a wall emotionally and is at the end of her tether?

BudgetBuster · 22/02/2026 16:24

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:20

Where did the OP say her DD was shouting?

Everyone seems to assume the DD is manipulative. I haven't seen the OP say that at all. Maybe she is, but there isn't any reason to think so. I would assume first that this is a woman who's going through a tough time who has asked her parents for help, which to me seems pretty normal.

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she’s been shouting at me and making me feel awful

It's in the Original Post

Sounds pretty manipulating to me. Asking her parents for help is one thing, shouting at them for not getting your way is another thing.

Bridesmaidorexfriend · 22/02/2026 16:25

I’d be fuming if you didn’t come if I was your other DD. You’re only an hour away, can come home easily in an emergency. Maybe time for a sensitive convo around boundaries and what support you can and cannot provide. Start as you mean to go on. But obviously be as supportive as you can, but not to the extent you’re putting your life on hold

AldiLidlDeeDee · 22/02/2026 16:27

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:03

I'm finding your OP and the responses very odd.

This is your daughter, not some random relative. She's pregnant with her first child and her partner has left her, but you don't know the exact circumstances - why not? How do you know so little about your own daughter's life?

You say 'It’s caused DH and I a lot of stress as we fear she is going to be very reliant on us when the baby is born.' That strikes me as an extremely strange way to react to the genuine difficulty your own child is experiencing. It's causing you stress? Is that all you care about? Surely you would want your daughter, who is unexpectedly going to be a single mother, to rely on you for support, given you're her mother? Am I missing something?

I can understand you wanting to go on holiday and in general that's not unreasonable. But something about how you talk about your daughter gives me the chills. She sounds very very upset. In that situation I would want to go to my DD and comfort her. But that's no how you're feeling. Do you feel she's overdramatising things? Do you dislike her?

I can't understand why everyone is saying that she needs to grow up. This isn't a toddler demanding more biscuits, this is a woman in a very stressful situation asking her parents for support. To me that seems like a very reasonable request. There's no way I'd go to CP and leave my pregnant daughter to struggle. But I love my DD and I want the best for her. I thought that was pretty standard.

I am baffled.

Hmm, I’m guessing you’re one of those mothers that has no life of their own even after their kids have grown up, but drop everything immediately to mummy their darling adult child whenever they’ve got so much as a cold.

Have you ever thought about how this co-dependency relationship that you’ve encouraged will pan out when you’re gone?

I’m a granny and we live abroad from our adult DC and DGC so we tend to see them twice a year at most. I’ve done a good job of raising them so they’re perfectly capable of standing on their own two feet.

BudgetBuster · 22/02/2026 16:28

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:24

Ah I missed it. Shouting isn't great but again it's not clear why she's shouting - is it because she's a demanding cow, or she's hit a wall emotionally and is at the end of her tether?

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Her parents didn't get her pregnant and leave her... she isn't a teenager. Under no circumstances is it OK to shout at them and make them feel awful.

tryingtobesogood · 22/02/2026 16:31

GReenasheet · 22/02/2026 15:16

Thank you for the reassuring replies!

Please send her this link. It’s the best place for support for GDM.

https://www.gestationaldiabetes.co.uk

She will be fine, GDM can be scary but it is also manageable.

Gestational Diabetes UK • Gestational Diabetes UK

Gestational Diabetes UK is dedicated to offering support and evidence based research to women diagnosed with gestational diabetes in the UK and Ireland

https://www.gestationaldiabetes.co.uk

stichguru · 22/02/2026 16:32

Unless the gestational diabetes is actually making your pregnant DD to poorly to parent her children properly, you go and she can sort herself out. Her behaviour would be reasonable if she were 4, only slightly unreasonable if she were 14, but she's 34!

NotnowMildrid · 22/02/2026 16:32

Another one to say you are not being at all unreasonable.

Plus you have said, she is more than welcome to go.

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:36

AldiLidlDeeDee · 22/02/2026 16:27

Hmm, I’m guessing you’re one of those mothers that has no life of their own even after their kids have grown up, but drop everything immediately to mummy their darling adult child whenever they’ve got so much as a cold.

Have you ever thought about how this co-dependency relationship that you’ve encouraged will pan out when you’re gone?

I’m a granny and we live abroad from our adult DC and DGC so we tend to see them twice a year at most. I’ve done a good job of raising them so they’re perfectly capable of standing on their own two feet.

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In my world it's normal for people to support each other, not for a cold necessarily (though if someone I cared about was really struggling, even if they weren't my child, I would help them) but for big life things like first pregnancies and health diagnoses. It's possible stand on your own two feet and connect with other people - those two things are not mutually exclusive.

BerryTwister · 22/02/2026 16:37

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:09

She's clearly struggling - why else would she be on the phone asking for help? Everyone seems to be assuming she's just making it up. Why would she do that?

I can't understand at all why you'd say she's 'tricking' her parents - where did the OP say she was doing that?

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@Whyarepeople are you saying that OP should stay with her adult daughter 24-7, and never leave her side, put her whole life on hold indefinitely?

Whyarepeople · 22/02/2026 16:38

BerryTwister · 22/02/2026 16:37

@Whyarepeople are you saying that OP should stay with her adult daughter 24-7, and never leave her side, put her whole life on hold indefinitely?

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I don't know if that's what the DD is asking for?

rookiemere · 22/02/2026 16:43

It is of course good to support your DC, even if adults when they need it. However a distinction should be drawn between needing and wanting support.

Of course OP is worried- she doesn’t want to be primary carer to a baby even if it’s her own DGC. This - even if it’s not deliberately designed to be - seems like a power play for OP to demonstrate how important DD is to her and sacrifice enjoyable family time with her existing DGC. It might be different if it was a fortnight abroad, but it’s a trip to CP an hour away.

OP go to CP. Tell your DD you love her and she is welcome to come.

BudgetBuster · 22/02/2026 16:43

stichguru · 22/02/2026 16:32

Unless the gestational diabetes is actually making your pregnant DD to poorly to parent her children properly, you go and she can sort herself out. Her behaviour would be reasonable if she were 4, only slightly unreasonable if she were 14, but she's 34!

The pregnant daughter doesn't have other children.
The other grandchildren will be at centreparcs (different daughters children).

Gloriia · 22/02/2026 16:43

In the minority but I couldn't go if my dd was anxious, stressed and wanted me to stay. Different parents have different relationships but I'd prioritise my dc over centerparcs any day.

Strawberrydelight78 · 22/02/2026 16:45

Just go and enjoy time with your family. If she goes with you she will do nothing but moan when someone else eats something she can't have.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 22/02/2026 16:45

YANBU OP. Your pregnant DD can come with you if she feels she needs you around - but she doesn't want to do that, so she has to stay on her own for a bit. It's her choice. Nobody is going to make her outCenter Parc Center Parcs, she doesn't have to roller disco or cycle the park, she could sit quietly in your accommodation. Which is why I am thinking her demands that you don't go is purely for control.

I understand her wanting to control everything she can control, when so much of her life is out of her control, but if you give in to her now she will have you over a barrel when the baby arrives. So you have to lay your stall out now, set your boundaries and tell her she will be fine on her own for a bit. Good practice for when the baby arrives! (when I suspect she might well try to manipulate you into helping 24/7).