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Original poster

DD had to pay for food at friend’s birthday party

206 replies

WalkAway7 · 21/02/2026 20:21

Just look for advice from mums of teenagers. My DD (15) was invited to a birthday day out by a friend of hers. The plan was a day out in the city. We were asked to drop and collect our own children. When my DC have parties we always collect (using two vehicles) the kids from a central point and drop back to the same point. Anyway, another friend’s parents agreed to drop our girls and we agreed to pick them up (40 mins drive each way). My daughter came home and said they went to KFC and had to buy their own food (the parents had gone off for a few hours and they weren’t being collected until much later).
So I sent my daughter, with a card and gift voucher (same child gave sweets to our DD on her 15th birthday) and we were expected to drop, collect and feed on our children. How is this a “party”?
The parents are not poor as all our DDs all attend private school but perhaps cultural differences influence their decisions…
My question - the parents of the birthday girl should pay for the food?

OP posts:
diddlrydeedoo · 21/02/2026 20:33

What the others have says. It’s not a party, it’s a day hanging out for a friend’s birthday. I’ve got two teens and I’ve seen a mix if both. We invited kids to ours and I order pizza. DC have headed off to town then paid for their own Nando’s. My older one went to an activity a couple of weeks ago and paid for the activity and for food.
I don’t really mind as long as they have fun.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 21/02/2026 20:33

It wasn’t a party, you even said yourself she was invited to a birthday day out. Really can’t understand why you are thinking a ‘birthday day out in the city’ is a party?

ThejoyofNC · 21/02/2026 20:33

Very important information here is what was the specific wording on the invitation, assuming there was one?

CypressGrove · 21/02/2026 20:34

That's standard at that age. In say 5 more years the friends might even pay not only for their own food but also cover the birthday girls food.

FrodoBiggins · 21/02/2026 20:34

youalright · 21/02/2026 20:32

Yeah it is sorry I don't know how i read that so wrong 🙈🤣

Edited
Show quote history

Lol no worries 🎂

goz · 21/02/2026 20:34

Are 15 year olds not expected to get on with anything for themselves anymore? You organised the card and gift?

AldiLidlDeeDee · 21/02/2026 20:34

Yes, it’s normal to pay for your own meal at a birthday party as an older teen/adult. If I was going out for a friend’s birthday I’d expect pay for my own meal.

I don’t drink alcohol so I’m never keen on splitting the bill equally as otherwise I’d be subsiding the boozers and end up seriously short changed. Bugger that!!

DS (16) has just got back from birthday meal out in a local restaurant. He paid for himself and gave money in a card to the birthday boy.

We only paid for other kids food when it was an actual birthday party during the primary school years.

Tink3rbell30 · 21/02/2026 20:34

DD did McDonald's and bowling for her 15th with a group of 6 friends and I paid for them all. I thought that was standard. Their parents dropped them all off and collected them.

wanderingstarz · 21/02/2026 20:35

Tink3rbell30 · 21/02/2026 20:34

DD did McDonald's and bowling for her 15th with a group of 6 friends and I paid for them all. I thought that was standard. Their parents dropped them all off and collected them.

That's not a day out in the city though.

Isntparentingbrilliant · 21/02/2026 20:37

Personally, I would have paid for my kids friends in that instance.

however I suppose everyone has different budgets and ideas .

main thing is your daughter had fun I suppose.

my most interesting party invite was for my son , aged 13 at the time .
•mum messaged me and asked if my DS wanted to go bowling- it was just her son and mine
• I said yes , mum then sent a message back saying he would need to bring £10 as it was quite expensive and she didn’t have much . Ok no problem, I went and got £10 out of the cash machine
• night before she messages and says he will also need food money 🙄 (why take for both if you are skint ? Anyway no problem I go get another £10 out of)
• on the morning she also messaged saying he would need £5 bus fair - I said not to worry he has a free pass . I was a bit dubious at this point as that seemed very high (bus fair for kids was £1 at the time)
• she seemed a bit put out with me for using the pass and not giving money

the whole thing felt very off , and I did wonder just how much I had paid for …. Especially when he came home having just had a happy meal 🙄

youalright · 21/02/2026 20:37

Tink3rbell30 · 21/02/2026 20:34

DD did McDonald's and bowling for her 15th with a group of 6 friends and I paid for them all. I thought that was standard. Their parents dropped them all off and collected them.

But thats at a specific activity not them just hanging around a city i assume looking in some shops.

Twooclockrock · 21/02/2026 20:37

it sounds like the birthday event wasnt a party but just a day hanging out in the cjty with the parents chaperoning and staying nearish by in case of any issues. It sounds like a perfectly normal age 15 thing to do.

youalright · 21/02/2026 20:39

Isntparentingbrilliant · 21/02/2026 20:37

Personally, I would have paid for my kids friends in that instance.

however I suppose everyone has different budgets and ideas .

main thing is your daughter had fun I suppose.

my most interesting party invite was for my son , aged 13 at the time .
•mum messaged me and asked if my DS wanted to go bowling- it was just her son and mine
• I said yes , mum then sent a message back saying he would need to bring £10 as it was quite expensive and she didn’t have much . Ok no problem, I went and got £10 out of the cash machine
• night before she messages and says he will also need food money 🙄 (why take for both if you are skint ? Anyway no problem I go get another £10 out of)
• on the morning she also messaged saying he would need £5 bus fair - I said not to worry he has a free pass . I was a bit dubious at this point as that seemed very high (bus fair for kids was £1 at the time)
• she seemed a bit put out with me for using the pass and not giving money

the whole thing felt very off , and I did wonder just how much I had paid for …. Especially when he came home having just had a happy meal 🙄

🤣🤣🤣🤣 some people are so cheeky it's unbelievable.

wanderingstarz · 21/02/2026 20:39

Do 15 year olds need chaperoning these days?

Xkk · 21/02/2026 20:39

Tink3rbell30 · 21/02/2026 20:34

DD did McDonald's and bowling for her 15th with a group of 6 friends and I paid for them all. I thought that was standard. Their parents dropped them all off and collected them.

Nice of you to do that. I don't think is standard though, each family with their budget. Whatever suits your family. The only thing I would find unreasonable is an invite to an expensive venue and being forced to pay for and expensive meal. That is not the case though, the just had fast food. I.portant thing us for them to have a good time.

hollyandribbon · 21/02/2026 20:40

At 15 I would absolutely expect them to be buying their own lunch etc, unless parents had specifically said they’d booked somewhere for lunch for them all as a treat. Essentially it’s an independent day out for them all but they need a bit of help getting there. If DC’s go to cinema (as an example) for friends birthdays I make sure they’ve got money for ticket, snacks and drinks, they are teenagers and parents have very little involvement!

Inchworms · 21/02/2026 20:43

Day out in town for birthday is everyone brings their own money / pays their own way. Kind of a nice little group budgeting project on the way to adulthood, do you all decide to go to Nandos or do you get an aero and spend the rest of the money convincing an adult to buy you some booze…

Smartiepants79 · 21/02/2026 20:44

Rayqueen2026 · 21/02/2026 20:32

What teenager still has a party lol I teach them and very rare to hear of any parties from 12-13.

Days out, afternoons out etc and apart from giving a gift will pay there own way

My teenagers and several of their friends still have parties. Some don’t, they have meet ups but mine have been to 2 or 3 parties this year and both had birthday parties of their own.
I’d not have an issue with paying for kfc in this scenario.

needanewsiahwasher · 21/02/2026 20:44

You sound a bit bitter. The parents are obviously not interested if they gave sweets to your daughter and it’s not a big thing for their family. They don’t have the same values as you (could be culture like you mentioned)

kfc is £15 max. It was a hang out in town no big drama.

Your daughter probably enjoyed it was out for a few hours - fab! As long as the b day girl and your daughter enjoyed it all is good (I would feel sorry if some parent / child was worried about cash)

Equally you don’t know that the child isn’t on a 100% bursary and they don’t have any cash / spare money for friends and this was their best!

Hopefully everyone had a fun day that’s all that matters 🎂

ReturnOfTheToad · 21/02/2026 20:44

My teenagers and their friends go to the city for their birthdays. They get food, go to the cinema, bowling, arcade, whatever they decide and everyone pays for themselves and gets themselves there and back. They don't really do gifts at that age, maybe sweets or a lip gloss.

GeishaTrumpet · 21/02/2026 20:45

WalkAway7 · 21/02/2026 20:21

Just look for advice from mums of teenagers. My DD (15) was invited to a birthday day out by a friend of hers. The plan was a day out in the city. We were asked to drop and collect our own children. When my DC have parties we always collect (using two vehicles) the kids from a central point and drop back to the same point. Anyway, another friend’s parents agreed to drop our girls and we agreed to pick them up (40 mins drive each way). My daughter came home and said they went to KFC and had to buy their own food (the parents had gone off for a few hours and they weren’t being collected until much later).
So I sent my daughter, with a card and gift voucher (same child gave sweets to our DD on her 15th birthday) and we were expected to drop, collect and feed on our children. How is this a “party”?
The parents are not poor as all our DDs all attend private school but perhaps cultural differences influence their decisions…
My question - the parents of the birthday girl should pay for the food?

It’s not a party. By 15 it’s more hanging out with friends for the afternoon. I wouldn’t expect birthday girls parents to cover it.

Octavia64 · 21/02/2026 20:45

At 15 my dd organised with her friends to go for a meal at a pizza place near school. I didn’t organise it, pay for it, or know who was going.

the invitations for this were almost certainly just the girls talking at school and arranging it. Very unlikely to be written invites unless you count WhatsApp as written invite.

Coconutter24 · 21/02/2026 20:46

It wasn’t a party, it was a birthday day out. Although when I’ve taken daughters and friends out for birthday treats I have always paid for food and activity

youalright · 21/02/2026 20:47

Inchworms · 21/02/2026 20:43

Day out in town for birthday is everyone brings their own money / pays their own way. Kind of a nice little group budgeting project on the way to adulthood, do you all decide to go to Nandos or do you get an aero and spend the rest of the money convincing an adult to buy you some booze…

Me and my friends missed so many meals at this age in favour of 10 Lambert and butler and a couple of bottles of cider. Awww good times

Lostearrings · 21/02/2026 20:47

My eldest is 16 and I have realised there is no logic to how these things work at this age so I always make sure DD has enough money on her card for when she is expected to pay. Luckily, the whole guests paying for the person whose birthday it is doesn’t seem to have caught on!