Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

Yeah, it doesn’t ring true to me either.

IF it happened as OP said it did, then it sounds like they were being deliberately goady / trying to intimidate him / winding him up / making fun of him, and yes, I can see why he would feel uncomfortable.

But it just doesn’t sound like something a group of girls would do, so I’m not convinced it happened like that

I’m so sick of women and men attacking women for their clothing choices. This one goes even further with the slowly rubbing themselves, parading, knowing what they were doing misogynistic comments, but I honestly thought we’d left this shit in the past.

It’s like ‘flaunting their curves’ in tabloid speak. Which basically means ‘walking round in their bodies’.

Thank you,

You did think that, you thought they sat “too close” to him, even though they didn’t need to.

What did you mean by that if you don’t think they were doing it deliberately?

I feel uncomfortable that young women and girls feel they need to show so much flesh in public in order to be fashionable. Who is dictating these fashions?

Disagree, there’s a bikini that suits for the beach on Mykonos and a bikini that suits for the health club. They aren’t the same.

covering his arse.

I see what you did there!

He's allowed to feel uncomfortable - that's his choice. It doesn't make him 'the bad guy'. But he can't blame the women for him feeling that way. They were just enjoying the jacuzzi and were not responsible for his feelings.

Nope. It’s not my business how anyone dresses, a bikini in a Jacuzzi is not virtually naked.

Are there appropriate ways to dress in certain situations, funerals, job interviews, etc, yes but that goes for men and women

FFS. Should we get the tape measure out?

Would he have felt the same issue at the beach then?

Our spa sounds similar and yes, in the past year or two there has been a big trend towards tiny bikinis which initially I did find quite inappropriate. It’s hard to explain but a spa is quite an intimate setting and people tend to sit quite quietly and privately unless with friends. Having someone next to you half naked in ‘sexy’ gear feels a bit uncomfortable.

I also do understand the body confident stances which are obviously great but could also be taken to be quite provocative to an onlooker.

I recommend he takes his kindle and keeps his eyes averted when necessary.

Did he tell you he ‘felt uncomfortable’..? 😂

So plenty of room in the jacuzzi whilst they were showering, rubbing their boobs and arses, but he didn’t move position in the jacuzzi.

Poor lamb, to have to keep watching!

A beach has a totally different atmosphere.

Men have the power in society. Full stop. I’m not going to cry about some selfish bloke who was hogging the jacuzzi and felt it was overcrowded when a group of women wanted to use it as well.

Why did he feel ‘uncomfortable’? Because he can’t control himself around psychologically free women and their bodies? This is the sort of backward women-hating worldview that results in cultures where women have to cover themselves and feel shame for existing. It is the sort of mindset that results in extreme ideology like incels and the Taliban.

They weren’t ‘parading’ and probably didn’t even give one iota of thought toward your DH. Unlike him and his sexually frustrated misogyny. And you op, instead of telling him this, and supporting other women, decided to collude in the demeaning of women. Well done. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙄

Tell your husband to stop being a disgusting perve. He clearly was watching them to realise they were showering etc. maybe he made them feel uncomfortable watching them so they chose as payback to return the favour in the hot tub. They had bikinis on they weren’t naked.

If a man's penis was half hanging out women would shield their children's eyes and run screaming from the area no i dont need to see what men or women have for breakfast thank you very much

Health club. I'm thinking more like a private gym with spa. Or a hotel spa. Rather than a slightly dingy public pool type place.

Don't worry re the rubbing in the shower, her husband "let that go". 🙄

Surely the entire point of wearing thong bikinis is to tan your arse cheeks. Wearing them indoors is pretty pointless, unless your primary concern is showing off your arse to the world.

Whats the difference? You can still see tits and ass in a swimming costume.

I feel uncomfortable because of how vulnerable the women, and particularly the young girls look.

I was on the bus the other day when 3 girls got on. Probably about 13. A freezing cold day. One the girls had her jacket open obviously intentionally. She was wearing a very low cut top which displayed most of her bare breasts. What good is it doing that young girl to have men of all ages staring at her breasts and fantasising about her in a sexual way? And if you say they shouldn't be looking then you don't live in the real world. We worry about the prevelance of Teen porn and yet young girls are being taught it's ok to play into the fantasy.

The OP literally says he left.