Made to feel uncomfortable

[Scottishlassie10]

Now I’m all for people wearing what they want but I do think there is a time and a place. My husband was in the health club last night relaxing in the jacuzzi when a group of young women in their early 20s wearing bikinis that left little to the imagination (think thong bottoms and boobs barely covered) started parading around. They came into the jacuzzi which I know they’re entitled to do, however 2 sat next to him and 2 directly facing. It’s quite a big jacuzzi so they had no need to sit where they did. He was the only male in. He felt he had no option to leave as this made him feel quite uncomfortable. Now I may be unreasonable in my thinking but I do think if the shoe was on the other foot and a male was to strut around the poolside in a thong or a group of men where to sit in an empty jacuzzi in close proximity to a female complaints would be made.

Only he knows whether he got out or not.

Pathetic

Should not have had a x!! 😆

Well I'm fed up of being made to feel uncomfortable by what a lot of women and girls feel is acceptable to wear in recent times.

Saying it's their body their choice and not expecting people to react to the way they dress is totally ridiculous .

Women can't have it both ways: complain about being objecified and made to feel like a sex object but the dress in such a way as to attract the very attention they claim not to want. Hypocrisy.

Let them parade, they're young and full of confidence. I've definitely seen men in speedos that I didn't particularly want to see. If I move because of it, that's my choice!

They're at a spa to spend some time together and feel good about themselves, I highy doubt they gave a toss about anyone else.

I think you need to read the op again. These women are not complaining. They have a right to wear whatever they chose as swimwear style, with their mates in a health club and not face accusations like the op is making, the fact you’re uncomfortable is a you problem.

So women have to dress like nuns to make men feel comfortable? Men who objectify women are the problem not what they wear.

You mean several women wore bikinis, and used a jacuzzi.

Your misogyny is showing, OP.

Why did your husband tell you all this?

They're allowed to wear it, you're allowed to complain about it, but you're not allowed to intimidate or somehow victimise them for it. Seems reasonable to me.

Tbh, although I'm not a huge fan of showing a lot of bum, swimsuits often cling in such a way that you can see it anyway even if they're covered.

If my husband came home and trotted out this line of shite about young women parading themselves, rubbing themselves instead of a brief shower, sitting next to him I’d immediately know it was a him problem and that it was tinged with fantasy and strong words would be had.

id not be thinking these young women all fancied my husband were trying to turn him on, and parading around.

its utterly warped.

Did you even read it?

Thas exactly what he did. He felt uncomfortable so he left.

Because he couldn’t get the sight of them and the fantasy they were dressed like that for him, and rubbing their breasts and bums for him, out his head.

Well said. Isn’t it interesting that the majority seem to see my husband as the bad guy. It’s as if only women are allowed to feel uncomfortable but if a man claims to be made uncomfortable he’s lying and covering his arse.

Where the women complaining…… oh no they weren’t!

The man was complaining and his DW, because her poor DH felt “uncomfortable” and she feels jealous.

He chose to get out, they didn’t care.

He did leave. Read the post!! 🤦🏻‍♀️ and why does he need to grow up?? Honestly, men cant get it right ever can they

I hate it when some glam mummies decide to wear teeny tiny bikinis at the Learner Pool. I am sure most of Mumsnet has trained toddlers by the age of two not to comment on women's bodies but I have trouble with my two year old grandchildren who make comments loudly. It is distasteful when most people are there to help give very little children water confidence. It should be all about the children. Some women sprawl on the steps showing of their gorgeousity and taking precious little notice of their own children. It is common sense to wear a practical swimming costume when in the littlies pool but no doubt there are plenty of MNers who feel it is their female human right to wear whatever they wish regardless of round eyed toddlers commenting on big boobies. I did notice that one woman did not like it when a child asked their Mummy if that lady had a baby in her tummy because she had a lot of flesh on show.
Thankfully most Dads and Granddads go for voluminous boxer type swim shorts.Most Mums and Grans go for sensible one piece cozzies.

But they didn’t make him feel uncomfortable, they probably didn’t even notice him, they don’t care about him!

OP, they were always going to jump on you here. I understand why your husband felt uncomfortable and left. And also why he felt a bit cheesed off. Pretty weird to wear skimpy bikinis in a uk leisure centre in Feb.

You don’t think there’s a middle ground between dressing like a nun and being virtually naked?

The only bad guy is your husband, these women are not complaining, possibly to each other about your husbands eyes on their bodies, but from what we know were just having fun with their mates,

they did nothing to make him uncomfortable. Nothing, there is no way in hell these women were slowly rubbing their breasts and arses for his pleasure.

Why do you feel uncomfortable, though?

I admit, I shudder at the sight of bare midriffs and lack of coats because I'm a particularly cold person! I also see outfits that I personally think look terrible (for a varuety of reasons), but why would anyone feel uncomfortable?

Is it the judgements you're forming about those people that make you that or is it that you feel threatened in some way?

It’s a health club, time of year is irrelevant and if you’ve been to one, bikinis are the fashionable choice for younger women now.

At no point did he think they were putting on a personal show! The assumptions on how my husband thought is unbelievay

im sorry for you that you think all men are like this. Or perhaps you just have a vivid imagination!