I don't want to do party bags

[GoingCrazy643]

I'm an immigrant to the UK. Been here 17 years (with a few stints abroad), DH is British. I now have a child of my own and he's getting to an age where birthday parties will be important. WTF is with people's obsession with party bags? What fresh hell is this where I have to spend more money (and much more importantly right now, time and mental energy) on gifts for my child's guests? Honestly the concept is insane. Where I grew up, host provides cakes/food/entertainment and guests brought gifts for the birthday girl/boy. End of story.

How big of a faux pas is it to not give party bags???

DH thinks they're very important.

Edit: For context, we are temporarily living abroad with DH's job but moving back to the UK next month and this is just a conversation that came up about the future. My OP seems a bit angrier than I actually feel 😅 I'm more confused than angry.

Yeah, what the hell am I reading and what kind of whole group of kids don't like Haribos?! 😂
I mean, one or two not liking, Ok, fair enough I can believe that. Whole circles of kids don't like them? Yeah right, sounds more like from the post that it's the parents who think it's cheap crap and are throwing the sweets in the bin as it's not good enough for their little Jeremy or Jemima.

Woah woah woah. You don’t have to do party bags. I’ve NEVER done them. Buy a big multipack of books and then everyone gets one on the way out, and a pack of haribo. Costs the same, no tat.

No, you don't have to do them, but they are the norm at kids parties.

This thread is sending me 😂 the Haribo stuff especially. They are ubiquitous in party bags and just generally, at tuck shops, prizes for party games, end of term gifts at extra-curriculars, Halloween. We’ve received them dozens and dozens of times. They’re in most party bags we get. They’re actually preferable to chocolate IMO as they cater better for allergies. Chocolate often leaves dairy intolerant kids out (and some chocolate like Smarties also contains gluten).

On the cake in bags front, I’d say it just depends on the kind of party. A lot of parties outside the home have food provided where kids have already eaten a metric ton of stuff, including a dessert, so it can make sense to give cake for later when all the food has had a chance to go down a bit. Kids are often back to playing in soft play etc while the cake is being cut.

With an at home party it’s more usual to eat the cake there and then. Either way is pretty standard and I don’t think anyone will particularly care either way whatever you do. We’ve been to parties with both, we’ve done parties with both, it’s just whatever works.

😂😂 this

this

It hasn’t got to be a party bag full of plastic. We have given out sweet cones/cupcakes. Also been given a book from £1 shop and an Easter egg before when the party was in the Easter holidays.

Me too! It's kind of embarrassing how much thought I put into them, I love the idea of the kids being excited about some obscure non tat fun thing that doesn't cost a fortune and some nice sweets. They're only young for such a short time.

Surely the husband is organising if it’s the husband who wants them?

Party bags are very much a thing in Ireland now.

A difference seems to be that the cake is cut and eaten at the party in Ireland. At least that’s what’s happened at every kid’s party I’ve ever been at, whether it’s at soft play or home.
Happy birthday is sung, candles are blown out, cake is cut and served.

From what I’ve read on MN, cake is often sent home in a napkin, though I suppose this custom might vary depending on where you are in the UK.

It is an extra pain on top of the other stuff but the done thing.

I hate the waste, plastic crap for the sake of it and some kids forget them or they stay on a shelf at home. Xx

I hated plastic tat party bags. We tried to make them less tatty.
We did books, colouring pencils (a big pencil with several colours in the lead), little torches on carabiners, character socks, stick on moustaches, those dehydrated flannels, water bottles filled with sweets…. Youngest is 14 now, it feels like a long time ago.

@GoingCrazy643 there is an FB page called “Plastic Free Christmas”, which has some good ideas.

I still remember being mortified as a 10 year old? That there was no party bags and having to explain to my friends that mum had given a donation to a children's charity instead.

Party bags are part and parcel of a party. Please please don't do seeds and soil as we had that once and it was just left over my car seat and I had to deal with why was the party bag got dirt in it. It's easy just get some pencils or pens and notebooks from the works, bubbles, etc. fidget toys are great too

I used to do a lucky dip when mine were little so I'd have a basket with small gifts wrapped up in and they picked one on the way out. As they got older I switched to baskets of mini bags of haribo. I started this after doing party bags for DS and realising that I'd probably spent more on each bag than he'd received in gifts which might sound selfish and yes it's the giving that's important, but it struck me as a bit daft on top of the cost of the party and cake as well!