I don't want to do party bags

[GoingCrazy643]

I'm an immigrant to the UK. Been here 17 years (with a few stints abroad), DH is British. I now have a child of my own and he's getting to an age where birthday parties will be important. WTF is with people's obsession with party bags? What fresh hell is this where I have to spend more money (and much more importantly right now, time and mental energy) on gifts for my child's guests? Honestly the concept is insane. Where I grew up, host provides cakes/food/entertainment and guests brought gifts for the birthday girl/boy. End of story.

How big of a faux pas is it to not give party bags???

DH thinks they're very important.

Edit: For context, we are temporarily living abroad with DH's job but moving back to the UK next month and this is just a conversation that came up about the future. My OP seems a bit angrier than I actually feel 😅 I'm more confused than angry.

Why oh why didn’t I think of that when we were planning our family, @Figgygal - that is genius!

🙄🙄

DS has a December birthday I'm not sure I'd be able to afford selection boxes instead of party bags with how expensive they are these days.

I hate all the plastic tat that comes home in them and didn't wanna infect it on others. I did a book (you can buy multi packs of Mr Men/Little miss books or other story books cheaply on the Internet) and craft kit that bought ready made off ebay and some cake.

Are party bags a modern thing? They didn’t exist when I was growing up.

Just dd some sweets if you don't want to do party bags or easter eggs or selection box etc depending on time of year

Not English so let me just say that I think you are completely WEIRD to put a piece of cake in the bag!! Like smashed cake- who wants that? I've lived in different countries and this is very much an English tradition that I will never understand or adher to.
Can someone explain this to me? Does anyone not do it?

How old are you? Party bags have been a thing for decades...

After doing loads of parties I just give cake in party bag.

If your partner thinks party bags are so important he can fill them.

We never had them either growing up.

We got given a slice of cake wrapped loosely in a serviette and dropped crumbs all over the back seat of my dad's car 🤣

I have done this a few times! A book and bubble wand. I got a box of 12 bubble wands from the worlds for £4. And 10 for £10 books from the works. Done this with both DC. Children always love choosing out a book 🙌🏻

I agree with @TheBlueKoala that putting the cake in the bag is kind of weird. Where I grew up tt birthday cake was served as dessert at the party meal.

But yes, you have to suck it up. It's part of the ritual, and the birthday child usually likes handing them out. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. It doesn't even have to be plastic.

@TheBlueKoala I agree it is quite unappetising wrapped in a paper napkin and squished. I think it's because children are usually full of party food, jelly and ice cream, so they take the cake home for later. You could buy nice boxes to put cake slices in, or individual cup cake boxes. Then not as much need for a party bag (maybe just a novelty balloon).

You sound miserable. Don’t bother having a party and then you won’t be going through hell.
When we did parties, we had lots of games. Every game a different person came first and won a prize, which went straight in their party bag. I loved shopping for personal things for each bag, added homemade cookies, birthday cake and crafts. My daughters loved giving out party bags to their friends. We never saw it as hell, it was very special. I miss those days.

The UK isn’t the only country that does party favours. If neither of you put them together for your DC’s birthday party and invite other kids the chances are the kids will be disappointed and think your child is a bit weird.

Depends what age you are I suppose, my dc are between 33 and 28 and they had party bags.

What are you viewing as “modern”? They were very much a thing in Ireland in the 80s and 90s. Not a new or English thing at all.

I would do them, but they can be little other gifts, not bags of tat! We've done:

• books - 10 for £10 in the works - get a few extras so each kid can choose one they don't have, use the spares as presents for other kids' parties!
• bath bombs - buy a pack and wrap each in film with a bow
• mini trains - for a Thomas themed party
• paint your own ceramic robot - Hobbycraft kit

to mention a few

I’m English and I think it’s weird. I hate birthday cake and I think that goes back to opening that mushy mess and ending up with a mouth full of tissue.

I’m with OP on party bags. My DCs used to rummage through them, take out the lollipop and throw the rest in the bin. It’s a crying shame when some poor mother has probably spent £50-100 putting them together for 30 little ingrates.

I'm an immigrant too op - when in Rome, do as the Romans do and give party bags.

I buy packs of 100 bubble wands, temporary tattoos, stickers, novelty pencils, mini activity books, balloons and the like. They work out very cheap per bag. No sweets because my dd has tooth problems.

Personally I appreciate it when my dc receive a party bag because it helps them wind down at home after the party. They go quiet blowing up their balloon or doing their activity book. Everyone wins

My DCs used to rummage through them, take out the lollipop and throw the rest in the bin.

This genuinely surprises me because my DC aren't like this at all. They go crazy for one of those tiny bouncy balls for example. The sweets get left till the end

We did a lucky dip instead. Filled a bucket with things like bouncy balls, small craft sets and other toys. Parents 1 stood at the door with a tray of cupcakes and parent 2 with the lucky dip. Each child leaves with something and a cake. Much easier!

No one is spending 50-100 pounds on party bags. 😂

Go to The Works and get 10 books for £10. Sorted!

I've never done plastic tat party bags, but something is expected. I used to do a piece of cake + a craft kit or mini "Lego" kit from Wilkos. We've been to many a party that did cake + a book.