I don't want to do party bags

[GoingCrazy643]

I'm an immigrant to the UK. Been here 17 years (with a few stints abroad), DH is British. I now have a child of my own and he's getting to an age where birthday parties will be important. WTF is with people's obsession with party bags? What fresh hell is this where I have to spend more money (and much more importantly right now, time and mental energy) on gifts for my child's guests? Honestly the concept is insane. Where I grew up, host provides cakes/food/entertainment and guests brought gifts for the birthday girl/boy. End of story.

How big of a faux pas is it to not give party bags???

DH thinks they're very important.

Edit: For context, we are temporarily living abroad with DH's job but moving back to the UK next month and this is just a conversation that came up about the future. My OP seems a bit angrier than I actually feel 😅 I'm more confused than angry.

Yeah they work out as more like 2-3 quid per bag when I do them. As I say I buy it all in packs of 100 and use the same stuff year on year

We’ve gone £1 books from the works this year - I can’t be bothered with bags. Will add a bar of chocolate

As previous posters have mentioned, most parties round our way the parents go to The Works and buy the 10 books for £10, lay them out next to the sliced cake when you want people to leave and start encouraging children to choose a book and take a slice of cake.

You definitely do not need to do party bags. We all collectively need to do more to reduce landfill and tat for the sake of it.

It sounds like your child might be the problem, really weird to just immediately bin something without even taking it out of the bag and looking at it. Completely spoiled and ungrateful, why let him take one in the first place?
I’d be mortified to admit the child I raised regularly acted like that.

As a kid I remember the party bag being the best bit! They’ll be crushed if you don’t have them. I’ve seen some people do books in their place but never omit a gift completely

We've never done them properly. When DD had a big bash for whole class we bunged lots of tat into a box and covered it in shredded paper then told the kids to queue up and do lucky dip for their piece of tat.

When we've done bowling parties we've just given the kids two quid each for the arcade in lieu of a party bag. My friend gave out books at hers.

Another year we took the party group to McDonalds after the activity and the happy meal gift was the party bag.

We also don't do the overpriced cakes made by local mums either that look cute but taste like sugar and icing and ends up with the kids half eating it and leaving it everywhere. £7 supermarket chocolate traybake every time and the kids guzzle it.

We went to a last min class party and the kids went home with a bit of bday cake. My child was not disappointed in fact they didn’t even mention party bags. Do what you feel best for you.

we have done before 10 books for £10 and a bag of haribo rather than tat. Works out much cheaper

The best party bags are a piece of cake and some sweets.

We had a few where a parent bought a multi pack of books and spilt them. Worked well.

Am I the only person who actually quite enjoys making up the party bags?

I'm a lazy f*cker when it comes to most things, but this I find genuinely fun. 😳

I hate party bags and the useless shite that goes in them, but they are expected and a sign that the kids should fuck off now- I do sweetie cones instead. Pack of cones with twist ties off Amazon and some big bags of Lidl sweets, job done and no whistles/ ball mazes cluttering up kitchen counters.

That’s how much it used to cost, but my DCs grew up pre-internet so every crappy item would be about £4 for a pack of 5 so you could times that by at least 12, and then throw in sweets and a pack of balloons, plus the bags themselves. I used to spend a fortune on that shite.

You can probably buy 30 tubs of bubbles these days for £2.50 from China!

came here to say that.

Why would anyone feel grateful for plastic tat they didn't ask for?
They say 'thank you' as per the etiquette rules, but they don't have to feel gratitude.

Parties = party bags, sorry, thats the actual law - i don't even have little kids and this is the hill I shall die on!

Cake is nice but tbh, most kids are worn out, eat very little and forget it quickly - a party bag of tat to take home though, that marks a party as excellent!

It doesn't have to be a lot - some bubbles, some stickers, shove a slice of cake in there in a napkin so it smushes everywhere, novelty eraser if old enough, that sort of thing.

It's also a good 'time to fuck off' marker for the end of the party, everyone queue up for party bags and slice of cake and then out the door!

I love doing party bags. I do my best not to do plastic tat, but DD and DS judge parties by the quality of the party bags 🤣 My DCs have birthdays in December and January so I always had the luxury of post Christmas sales for better quality tat 🤭

i love how mn is fixated on plastic tat

we did party bags - that i made with fabric scraps or whatever - which usually had a cupcake in and maybe a pencil or rubber or both and some sweets.

Once i gave them all a book. Another time we went ice skating so i got them all magic gloves (because, typically, they always forgot gloves)

When mine were that small I always done picture books 10 for £10. I get a personalised sticker from amazon saying thanks for coming to ??? Party! With a mini packet of haribo. Always goes down well. https://www.theworks.co.uk/c/offers/multibuys/10-for-10-bundles

Although now my ds is 8 i don't bother. Actually just took him and 5 friends to the local aquarium for the day and bought them an ice cream on the way out. One of the boys asked me for a party bag and i told him he was eating it!

I love a party bag. You don't have to buy crap but everyone loves those little men with sticky feet that flip flops down the window, bubbles and a few sweets. Depending on how much you like the parents you could add a whistle or cheap recorder. As others have said its a good cue for the parents and kids to leave.

Same here and all those cheap books went straight to a second hand shop.

I totally respect your view,however I would say kids have now come to expect them sadly. I couldn’t bear the plastic tack so I’d give them each a cheap sticker book or similar. The good thing about them is you get to send the children home promptly by giving them out at the exit. I do sympathize with you though, the party should be enough.

This is entirely true.

I hate them and hate the stupid plastic toys in them.
But one reaosn they came about is because you don't eat the cake at the party.
I have never understood that relaly, in every other context you eat the cake at the party, but not with small children.

My compromise was that I did them but not standard.
It was - cake, balloon (unless I had loads of balloon to decorate and them we gave those away as kids left to get rid of them)
one things connected to the party, so pirate party = one gold coin
and one toy, but something like a pot of bubbles, or one of those twisted straws that kids love but can't be cleaned properly.

When dd was older and did a Bake Off party, they took home stuff they cooked.
When other dd did a spy party they each got a magic ink pen.