The one with the viking cowboy. Are these comments on my appearance terrible or not?

[Onceuponamama]

Short story. Two weeks ago my hair apparently looked "like a viking" wearing a claw clip then this evening "your're not going to like me telling you this but you look like a cowboy".

Two weeks ago I had my hair up in a claw clip whilst cleaning, dh walks into the room and comments "your hair looks like a viking like that". Inside I was like wtf but didn't let on how hurt I felt and just brushed it off.

Fast forward to this evening and I'm trying to find an outfit for tomorrow, we're supposed to be going on a early date for Valentine's day. Nothing fancy just lunch but still wanted to make abit of effort, so I tried on some bootcut jeans, a black cashmere jumper, black low heel boots (not western style) and an oversized cropped tapestry and borg fleece jacket.(no stirrups, hats or chewing on straw in sight) I showed him my outfit and asked if my jeans look ok as I felt abit self conscious wearing tighter style jeans as I normally wear wide leg nowadays. (33 yo mum size 12). Initially he said "yeh you look nice" then said "I don't think your going to like my answer but you look like a cowboy".

That was the second strike for me and I just told him straight that these are horrible ways to describe my appearance and no woman would want to be compared to a viking or a cowboy! He thinks these are perfectly reasonable ways to describe me?!

We barely get to have time to go out just us together these days and I was really looking forward to it but now I just don't want to go at all.

I'm up late venting and contemplating if DH is just clumsy with his words or is there more going on here and he's trying to knock my confidence on purpose? I've finished crying now so just give it to me straight if you think I'm being unreasonable in all of this or not. (I really hope I'm not)

I'm not sure what a "tapestry and borg fleece jacket," is, but the tapestry part does make me think it might be something a cowboy would wear.

The outfit sounds a little cowboy style. I think you are being unreasonable and over sensitive. I also don’t think Viking or cowboy are particularly offensive, why ask him if you don’t want an honest answer?

From your description of the situations & outfits, it does sound like you are being a bit overly sensitive.

I'm also interested by the oversized, cropped tapestry and borg fleece jacket.

Honestly, he sounds like an idiot.

Has he got a history of taking an interest in your clothes/hairstyle etc and making constructive comments or paying you compliments? Or does he never notice a new haircut, or when you've made a particular effort over your appearance?

What's his personal style like? Does he put his own outfits together well? Has he got a cool haircut, is he well groomed eg neat beard if he has one, clean shaven etc.

In other words, has he got anything about him that would lead you to think he has any qualifications at all to pass judgement/ make intelligent comments about your appearance?

I'm betting not...

In which case just ignore his stupid comments and wear something you feel good in.

💐

I really wouldn’t care tbh, I don’t think those are derogatory remarks.

The Viking comment was unsolicited.

My boyfriend calls me Dennis Taylor in my new reading glasses & it makes me giggle every time! But that’s our humour - we do take the piss! If he went too far & he upset me, he’d be devastated. Does your DH know how you feel? He may just be doing a typical, blunt, foot in mouth man thing

Intrigued about the Viking reference. Did it look like a horned helmet? (That was a Hollywood invention, by the way: the Vikings didn’t really wear horned helmets).

It’s a funny remark, isn’t it? I think you’re taking yourself too seriously to be hurt about it.

He could have at least said cow girl!

Who wouldn’t want to be a Viking tall blond strong with a swishy sword

And a big bushy beard. 😁

This is the jacket

i was wearing a particularly nice woollen scarf the other day, and DH told me I reminded him of Rupert the Bear. Not the look I was aiming for.

Just tried to screenshot a pic but its under review
www.next.co.uk/style/su664042/f71051

I think with the cowboy one you have to remember that most straight men don’t really get fashion so often anything a bit different or with a nod to a decade or era or style is seen as out there. I wore a khaki jumpsuit once and my brother started saluting me as it looked vaguely like an army uniform. (Edited to add Posted before the photo was uploaded.)

The Viking one I don’t really understand tbh. But you should tell him you find these comments upsetting, particularly when you’ve made an effort and rarely get a chance to. It’s just not what you want to hear.

I didn’t know what to expect from the description, regardless he should’ve kept his mouth shut, but actually I think that’s really nice. And not even slightly cowboy like?

I wore a blouse with ruffles on it once, and husband called me "the artist formerly known as (steff13)."

Not a cowboy or Viking.

He's kind of weird to see that little jacket as either.

I get cowboy vibes from that- real cowboy rather than cartoon cowboy. Cowboy is sort of in at the mo though...

You seem quite sensitive, neither of his comments were negative.

😂He actually did say "a cow girl then... is that better?" later in the conversation

😅 It was just a normal claw clip.. it looked like this

being compared to Prince can never be a bad thing

I love this jacket OP

The way I style my hair sometimes, I get told I look like a Viking. I think it’s a great compliment. I wouldn’t be offended being told I look like cowboy either but your outfit doesn’t sound like it did.

Maybe show your husband pictures of cowboys so he understands what they look like 😂

That’s so much better! I wouldn’t take offence.

Maybe buy him a book on ‘compliments for dummies’ as his valentine’s gift.