The one with the viking cowboy. Are these comments on my appearance terrible or not?

[Onceuponamama]

Short story. Two weeks ago my hair apparently looked "like a viking" wearing a claw clip then this evening "your're not going to like me telling you this but you look like a cowboy".

Two weeks ago I had my hair up in a claw clip whilst cleaning, dh walks into the room and comments "your hair looks like a viking like that". Inside I was like wtf but didn't let on how hurt I felt and just brushed it off.

Fast forward to this evening and I'm trying to find an outfit for tomorrow, we're supposed to be going on a early date for Valentine's day. Nothing fancy just lunch but still wanted to make abit of effort, so I tried on some bootcut jeans, a black cashmere jumper, black low heel boots (not western style) and an oversized cropped tapestry and borg fleece jacket.(no stirrups, hats or chewing on straw in sight) I showed him my outfit and asked if my jeans look ok as I felt abit self conscious wearing tighter style jeans as I normally wear wide leg nowadays. (33 yo mum size 12). Initially he said "yeh you look nice" then said "I don't think your going to like my answer but you look like a cowboy".

That was the second strike for me and I just told him straight that these are horrible ways to describe my appearance and no woman would want to be compared to a viking or a cowboy! He thinks these are perfectly reasonable ways to describe me?!

We barely get to have time to go out just us together these days and I was really looking forward to it but now I just don't want to go at all.

I'm up late venting and contemplating if DH is just clumsy with his words or is there more going on here and he's trying to knock my confidence on purpose? I've finished crying now so just give it to me straight if you think I'm being unreasonable in all of this or not. (I really hope I'm not)

He hates the jacket

Better than saying he looked like a willy 😂

I got told my style is like 'freezer tapas'...a jumble of whatever I've laid my hands on, thrown on🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh and if im wearing socks and sliders (only inside when my feet are cold), he asks why I'm being like a Romanian lorry driver (apologies to any Romanians, or lorry drivers from anywhere).

Oh, that jacket...I'd have said less cowboy and more grandma in her house coat.

My husband often says ‘ oh you’re going for the gypsy lady look ‘ when I’m not at all. I might just have a loose blouse on or some darker lipstick I just roll my eyes and think what does he know? . My husbands dress sense is nothing to write home about.
I wouldn’t worry about it. Maybe he likes cow girls?

My exh used to call me Oliver Crumbwell if I hadn't shaved my legs and they were a little stubbly because the stubble felt like crumbs, apparently!

We had a whole load of pisstake names and jokes at each other's expense but they were all good natured and said with good intent and humour.

I've had other men say things that sound similar but land differently because they were veiled criticisms. As long as you know it's intended to make you laugh and not criticise you, it's all good.

Vikings are badass (and also my ancestors). I would be thrilled to be told I looked like a Viking.

Same!! 😁

Not my dh(he isn't stupid enough to rip the piss out of how I look) but in the mid 80s I had a very radical haircut, extreme bob, shaved up the back. Fucking loved it. Until, I walked into the pub and everyone in the snug started singing Blackadder.
Actually, dh did make a "witty" comment once. I had a black kimono style jacket with embroidery on the yolk and fringes on the sleeves. Going out with friends and as im going out the door he shouts "Enjoy the line dancing Tammy-Sue" He must have been thinking of that all day bless him and he was dead proud of it as he gave a Muttley
snigger. He was right though as one of my mates just looked and said "yee-haw"

Well, that jacket certainly isn't to my taste, but I can't say it reminds me of the Old West.
Perhaps you shouldn't ask him for outfit advice.
I'm guessing he looks like a youthful Brad Pitt in bespoke Armani?

Trying on a lovely red coat in Hobbs. '"Have you seen Don't Look Now?" I am short, so he had a very good point.

Walked through the door feeling great having been pampered at the hairdresser. Husband said, simply "Is that what you asked for?"

"I like that babygro." Me in what I thought was classy lounge wear, and it is separate sweater and leggings.

I too am blessed with a husband who says whatever pops into his head. I know he's not setting out to insult me, and I always laugh. I give as good as I get - I always tease him when he wears 20 year old race t-shirts that he's very proud of (Oh, is your 'Free Nelson Mandela' shirt in the wash?').

I wore a khaki jumpsuit once and my brother started saluting me as it looked vaguely like an army uniform.

😆

I hate the jacket too.

Precisely
All the posters falling over themselves to tell you that you are wrong must have a very low bar for male behaviour.
Hes rude and negging you
I would tell him to bugger off and enjoy his VD date on his own if my DH spoke to me like that

I'm just reading some of the comments to my partner and we're crying with laughter.

I was just about to post the exact same!!

I also have a boiler suit which I absolutely loved when I tried on but then wore it for a family meal and every time one of my male relatives walked in and greeted me, they made a comment about plumbing / car mechanics 😭

But honestly I think things like this are funny and if I genuinely love an item of clothing, I don't care.

The boiler suit in hindsight was a ridiculous purchase 😂

Oh my current favourite partner comment. I bought a long pleather skirt, 'here's Darth Vader'.....

I found a gorgeous green jumpsuit on Vinted. DP said I looked like a turtle.

I love stripes and have several navy/black and white striped tops and every time I put one on with dark trousers, I laugh to myself and think all I need is a string of onions round my neck and to ride a bike to look the part. 😆

😆

I genuinely can't understand all the people saying the OPs husband is an awful person. I think men actually say these things as compliments and like you say, can't see how we could be offended! They love Astronauts, Vikings and Cowboys 😍

I always laugh when DH comes out with a random "compliment" as I know it's never meant with bad intentions.

This made me laugh 😂

I think if people think their partner is funny, and they appreciate the banter, that's all good. However, the OP is clearly sensitive about her appearance and is unhappy with the negativity. Something isn't funny if the target doesn't find it funny. It's just hurtful. The OP's partner should really be a bit more aware.

This reminds me more of a Japanese kimono style than cowboy.

When I’m wearing camo print my DH always asks if I’m going on manoeuvres. If I wear animal print he says I look like his mum 😬

But we have a similar sense of humour and he compliments me all the time, so it doesn’t bother me. Really it depends on if your husband ever does tell you that you look nice, or not.

Same here 😆

Do you comment on his style and appearance in a similar manner?

Yep! As I said we have a similar sense of humour. And he actually compliments me way more than I compliment him to be fair.

I think that's different, really. What the OP is talking about indicates less of a balance than good humoured ribbing.

You asked his opinion and he gave it. You might have preferred different words but when you described the outfit, it was 'cowboy' that came to my mind. I'm not sure how else he could have said it. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with looking a bit like a cowboy, and the Viking thing would just have made me laugh.