The one with the viking cowboy. Are these comments on my appearance terrible or not?

[Onceuponamama]

Short story. Two weeks ago my hair apparently looked "like a viking" wearing a claw clip then this evening "your're not going to like me telling you this but you look like a cowboy".

Two weeks ago I had my hair up in a claw clip whilst cleaning, dh walks into the room and comments "your hair looks like a viking like that". Inside I was like wtf but didn't let on how hurt I felt and just brushed it off.

Fast forward to this evening and I'm trying to find an outfit for tomorrow, we're supposed to be going on a early date for Valentine's day. Nothing fancy just lunch but still wanted to make abit of effort, so I tried on some bootcut jeans, a black cashmere jumper, black low heel boots (not western style) and an oversized cropped tapestry and borg fleece jacket.(no stirrups, hats or chewing on straw in sight) I showed him my outfit and asked if my jeans look ok as I felt abit self conscious wearing tighter style jeans as I normally wear wide leg nowadays. (33 yo mum size 12). Initially he said "yeh you look nice" then said "I don't think your going to like my answer but you look like a cowboy".

That was the second strike for me and I just told him straight that these are horrible ways to describe my appearance and no woman would want to be compared to a viking or a cowboy! He thinks these are perfectly reasonable ways to describe me?!

We barely get to have time to go out just us together these days and I was really looking forward to it but now I just don't want to go at all.

I'm up late venting and contemplating if DH is just clumsy with his words or is there more going on here and he's trying to knock my confidence on purpose? I've finished crying now so just give it to me straight if you think I'm being unreasonable in all of this or not. (I really hope I'm not)

Ha I think this so different to my thought process. Last week one day my style at work was Del Boy, next was graveyard lady, next was violet fairy 🤣. I have a long black leather trench coat. I was thinking Herr Flick but my husband said Blade!

Sorry OP, but that is minging.

Eh. The viking comment was one thing, but to put effort in to get dressed up only to be described as a cowboy/girl is just insulting.

I think he was being careless with his words and inconsiderate of how it made you feel. I would be upset too. I wouldnt want to go out either, given that it was supposed to be a valentines date with your SO who just insulted your appearance... twice.

Don't think its a major issue, would just let him know in a serious tone that its not an acceptable thing to do and you don't appreciate it. If he has a critique he can bring it up in a constructive way, not mockingly comparing you to things you will perceive as insulting.

Eh. The viking comment was one thing, but to put effort in to get dressed up only to be described as a cowboy/girl is just insulting

I'm not sure putting on jeans and a fleece could be considered either effortful or dressed up.

Does he have history for opening his mouth and inserting his foot?

Sorry but that jacket is terrible. Someone had to say it!

I got told by a man recently that I looked like Terry Pratchett, because I was wearing a fedora. I’ve also been compared to Del Boy when I was wearing an aviator jacket, and Hagrid when I was wearing a furry coat. They don’t know what they’re talking about, these boring men in the same old jeans and jumpers.

Think the jacket was wrong especially being oversized with smart jrans and boots. A fitted leather one would be better or any fitted jacket. The oversized look is fashionable but doesn't look good on women I think

Was proudly wearing my new scarf a few years ago, only to be told that I looked like Colonel Gaddafi 🤣

I’m actually crying over this 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I like that! Certainly not something a cowboy would wear!

This would just be banter in my house.

I often tell DH he’s dressed like a drug dealer from the 90s when he wears his hippy hoody, he tells me a I look a dinner lady in a tabard when I wear a particular dress from White Stuff.

If this makes you cry, maybe work on your resilience.

To me they sound like fun remarks. I have a friend who looks like a Viking - tall, strong and fair-haired. Very striking. Cowboy is cool too. If you’re aiming for ethereal maiden vibe you need to buy some floaty dresses and ballet pumps. Sexy you need well I don’t know a well cut fitted? dress or top. I’m sure you look fab whatever you wear. Some men are awful at compliments though and some lavish them on like rich sauce. I love those fleecey patterned tops - they are funky outdoorsy though aren’t they?

OP there was once a poster here with platinum blonde hair whose husband said she looked like Jimmy Savile.

Cue a ton of witty comments including this one that made me chuckle for days:

“a trim’ll fix it for you”

So, it could be much much worse 😂

I think viking shield maidens are bad@ss, if someone said I looked like a viking I'd take that as a compliment!! Not sure how it can be classed as offensive?!

😂 your brother 🤣
They're arse holes aren't they? Mine would do this to me also!

OMG, this thread! I'm late to the party but thanks ladies. Absolutely brilliant!