The one with the viking cowboy. Are these comments on my appearance terrible or not?

[Onceuponamama]

Short story. Two weeks ago my hair apparently looked "like a viking" wearing a claw clip then this evening "your're not going to like me telling you this but you look like a cowboy".

Two weeks ago I had my hair up in a claw clip whilst cleaning, dh walks into the room and comments "your hair looks like a viking like that". Inside I was like wtf but didn't let on how hurt I felt and just brushed it off.

Fast forward to this evening and I'm trying to find an outfit for tomorrow, we're supposed to be going on a early date for Valentine's day. Nothing fancy just lunch but still wanted to make abit of effort, so I tried on some bootcut jeans, a black cashmere jumper, black low heel boots (not western style) and an oversized cropped tapestry and borg fleece jacket.(no stirrups, hats or chewing on straw in sight) I showed him my outfit and asked if my jeans look ok as I felt abit self conscious wearing tighter style jeans as I normally wear wide leg nowadays. (33 yo mum size 12). Initially he said "yeh you look nice" then said "I don't think your going to like my answer but you look like a cowboy".

That was the second strike for me and I just told him straight that these are horrible ways to describe my appearance and no woman would want to be compared to a viking or a cowboy! He thinks these are perfectly reasonable ways to describe me?!

We barely get to have time to go out just us together these days and I was really looking forward to it but now I just don't want to go at all.

I'm up late venting and contemplating if DH is just clumsy with his words or is there more going on here and he's trying to knock my confidence on purpose? I've finished crying now so just give it to me straight if you think I'm being unreasonable in all of this or not. (I really hope I'm not)

My husband asks me how he looks and in the last week I’ve told him he looks like an unemployed geography teacher a dodgy builder and a sex god. I hope he doesn’t divorce me.

Sorry, just a bit over sensitive. I wouldn't have minded either comment and I would have known my husband has the style of a potato and I don't listen to any clothing critique from him. He's great at other things and I hugely respect his views, but STYLE??? Hell no.

Super Mario??? Can't stop laughing. Thanks for sharing!

I have a jacket that I love and my whole family call me The Magician when I wear it.

I too have had a good chuckle at the comments this morning.

Still having a giggle about @AtlasPine being referred to as a king prawn 😂

I used to have some wide leg cropped pyjama trousers and matching vest, DH used to say I looked like a character from mortal combat and would do the countdown to a battle starting. I didn't mind. A few years later I got rid of them because I got bleach on then and they were getting tatty. About 6 months later he said to me where are you mortal combat clothes, and was disappointed when I said they were gone. I don't think they mean it negatively, it's just what they see!

I have a sherpa fleece lined suede jacket, I get called John Motson every time I wear it 🤣

It sounds light hearted rather than bullying

I had a jacket that my dh called my “Rita fairclough” jacket. I knew what he meant and safe to say it was phased out. I do value his opinion and he regularly compliments me on what I wear so if he’s not fussed on something it’s something I wouldn’t wear so much around him.

My husband one said I looked like a moth in my brand new silk blouse 😂

He also asks me most weekend which zoo animal I plan to dress as cos I like animal print….. I just laugh and sometimes when I get ready I said ‘you’ll hate this but I love it so I’m wearing it’ and laugh. He wears jeans and a jumper most of the time so hardly the height of fashion. I won’t be taking advice from him. Just wear what you want and don’t care what he thinks

I've had some less than flattering remarks....not from my partner....but from my sons. Some memorable ones.....I thought my newly styled bob was quite chic until my eldest said I looked like He Man. Years ago my aunt gave me a lovely long black coat with a leopard print edging...I was compared to Lily Savage. My lovely squishy grey leather tote bag was like "an elephants scrotum". More recently I was going for a layered necklace look....my son took one look and said "I pity the fool" . Cheeky buggers but they do make me laugh!

Best response to comments like that??????. Tell him he’s a jerk but at least you can change your clothes and hairstyle!

I’m intrigued to know how you style your hair to look like a Viking.Do you have plaits and bits of bone or antlers woven into it?
Being compared to a Viking would be pretty cool IMO.

I think Vikings are a cool comparison so wouldn’t be offended. The cowboy one might have been true but if he knows you won’t like it, it’s not that nice/bright to say it so I might’ve pointed that out, but bottom line is he’s just a bit simple ‘say what you say’ and not any kind of style barometer so ignore him and wear what makes you happy.

He’s an idiot.
Any sensible man knows that questions about clothes are like landmines. There’s no right answer, but something vaguely complimentary is your only hope of getting through without an explosion.

You’re also an idiot, sorry op.
Husbands and boyfriends should not be asked for opinions about clothes, they are entirely incompetent to judge.

If you need a boost, you need to say “tell me I look good” and glare menacingly until he does.

I don't think he meant those as insults he was just speaking without thinking. My DH once said he loved a cowl neck top of mine. He never compliments my clothes so I was really pleased and wore it more often. Week's later he finished his sentence:
"I love that top...it makes you look like an astronaut."
He couldn't believe I didn't see that as a good thing.

I think maybe it's better never to ask.

The outfit with the fleece thing does sound a bit 'pioneer woman', so I can kind of see where he's coming from!

I once wore a white-yellow-green-blue striped tunic and DH said I looked like a beach chair.😆.
Stopped wearing it, not because he didn't like it but because I couldn't unsee it! I don't mind, it's also our sense of humour and he compliments me a lot otherwise.

I think the fact that these comments upset you is a sign you don't feel appreciated ,so although the comments may be light hearted it is still worth talking about it with him OP

Myself and DH ( together 26 years) would laugh at stuff like this.

That jacket is really bad. I actually never comment on these threads but it is absolutely awful looking.

He should not be saying these things, maybe you could suggest a shopping trip together to pick out some new clothes. Hope you are ok x

looked like He Man 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 thank you for this gift, I had tears of laughter running down my face! And I’m sure your hair looked lovely!

Also, I would love to look like a Viking too and think I am one deep down! Good woman.

You sound ridiculous OP.

I think I’d take this in a more lighthearted fashion like a lot of PP’s. I’m growing out my hair after an ill advised bob after which DH changed my name on his phone to Lord Faarquad from Shrek.