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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dd15 induction tomorrow & i have a bug

264 replies

lunarwhisper · 12/02/2026 19:57

Reposting in AIBU for traffic
Trying to keep this brief

My dd is 15 and she's 3 days overdue we went to the hospital yesterday for reduced movements all fine but she's been booked in for an induction tomorrow
We arent the closest and werent before the pregnancy either due to her behaviour at the time and she was living with her dad for a few months befoe she found out but i was meant to be her birthing partner .

Since shes been off school we have been closer and going out together when my younger dc are at school but we did have an argument as she wants to call the baby something ridiculous and she called me controlling

The dad isnt the nicest of boys and tbh neither is his dad ive only spoke to him once and that was when i told him dd was pregnant and he said how did his son know its his and called dd a slag

They eventually broke up and he was bullying her along with his friends in school which made her anxious about attending , she blocked him and they had no contact from december until recently , they aren't back together but apparently he does want to be involved

Anyway fast forward to the issue, she is due to be induced tomorrow and I've woken up today vomiting and I don't feel the greatest. The dc’s dad aren't really involved tbh but the plan was he come here and be with the dc (though they'll not be home during the day) and I go with dd. Im now unsure what to do as I wont be much help to dd and obviously with a bug on the labour ward wont be good anyway

The dad is under 16 so i doubt just then would be allowed and I dont think dd would want him there anyway , i don't know if shed want her dad there either(i wouldnt have wanted mine there at 15 and we were much closer than dd and her dad) and im unsure how much use he’d be

What the hell do we do??

OP posts:
Notashamed13 · 12/02/2026 20:01

You stay away, or ask them to postpone induction for 48 hours after your last bout of sickness, harsh but true. Good luck and congratulations x

Notashamed13 · 12/02/2026 20:03

Or, you ask your DD what she wants.

Idontspeakgermansorry · 12/02/2026 20:05

Ask your DD?

Definitely don't go with a sickness bug.

onlyforyou · 12/02/2026 20:09

Ask dd what she wants. No other female relatives? Does she have a close friend?

Kirbert2 · 12/02/2026 20:10

All you can do is ring and explain.

If she needs to be induced due to reduced movements, they will probably just have to go ahead because you showing up with a bug isn't an option.

Original poster
lunarwhisper · 12/02/2026 20:26

DD doesn't want to delay it any longer, she's been fed up since the beginning of January tbh. We don't have any close family really apart from her dad, and he isn't that involve as it is

OP posts:
Notashamed13 · 12/02/2026 20:29

Then unfortunately she needs to go alone, you could seriously risk both your DD and GC life by exposing them to a sickness bug.

Hopingtobehelpful · 12/02/2026 20:33

Gosh I very much hope she won’t be there on her own.
Are you sure there is absolutely no one you or she could ask? Is your mum around? If there’s no one at all it will have to be her Dad.

Wishing her a safe delivery.

Anonomoso · 12/02/2026 20:33

Your DD is about to become a mother herself, there's going to be a lot of decisions she's going to have to make on her own.

Unless she really wants you there she'll be fine with the midwives/hospital staff.

Greybeardy · 12/02/2026 20:34

she should speak to the triage line/ward. If she's living with you then the chances are she's already been exposed to whatever you've got if it's viral. As a 15 yr old with limited support they may be able to manage things by thinking outside the usual boxes.

onlyforyou · 12/02/2026 20:35

dd doesn’t have any friends? You don’t have any friends that she knows? I wouldn’t let her go alone (unless that’s definitely what she would prefer)

I accompanied a friends teenage dd to an intimate medical procedure because mum was ill and only other person available was her dad. I didn’t know her well at all but she just needed a woman to support her, I’m sure there is someone who would be willing to do the same.

paradiseshells · 12/02/2026 20:37

Anonomoso · 12/02/2026 20:33

Your DD is about to become a mother herself, there's going to be a lot of decisions she's going to have to make on her own.

Unless she really wants you there she'll be fine with the midwives/hospital staff.

Yep. Obviously this is far from ideal but having a baby as a single mum is going to involve her having to cope alone many more times to come in the future.

You cannot bring a vomiting bug onto a maternity ward and if your daughter won’t delay it then there is no other choice 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kirbert2 · 12/02/2026 20:40

lunarwhisper · 12/02/2026 20:26

DD doesn't want to delay it any longer, she's been fed up since the beginning of January tbh. We don't have any close family really apart from her dad, and he isn't that involve as it is

I would let them know just in case they decide that your daughter can wait for at least a few more days in the hopes that you are better and that your daughter also doesn't get it and bring it to the ward.

If it's medically required then it's medically required and she will likely have to do it alone if there is no one else but if they are happy to put it off by a few days, that is probably the best option for everyone.

Burntt · 12/02/2026 20:41

Ask your dd what she wants but float the idea of delaying the induction

Original poster
lunarwhisper · 12/02/2026 20:47

we dont have much family just ex’s side but they live in different areas and not loca

The induction is due to reduced movements yesterday and that she's over due and tomorrow will be 4 days

I do worry about her being alone I was alone with youngest as myself and ex had split during the pregnancy and he was home with dc and that was hard for me as a grown woman but dd is just 15

OP posts:
Notashamed13 · 12/02/2026 20:49

I also think you are going to be of more support when GC is here.

sharkstale · 12/02/2026 20:52

I was induced twice, the first time it took 3 days before they broke my waters, the second I was in for 5 days first. I think that's quite normal, so there's a good chance you won't miss the birth if your bug passes soon. Good luck to you both x

Just to add: i was going out of my mind both times being stuck in there during the induction process. Anyone who's had an induction will tell you they are horrendous. All those saying she's going to be a single mum anyway so let her do it alone are cruel. She's 15 ffs

Lurmusion · 12/02/2026 20:53

sharkstale · 12/02/2026 20:52

I was induced twice, the first time it took 3 days before they broke my waters, the second I was in for 5 days first. I think that's quite normal, so there's a good chance you won't miss the birth if your bug passes soon. Good luck to you both x

Just to add: i was going out of my mind both times being stuck in there during the induction process. Anyone who's had an induction will tell you they are horrendous. All those saying she's going to be a single mum anyway so let her do it alone are cruel. She's 15 ffs

Edited

This! It took three days with my son

Sunshineclouds11 · 12/02/2026 20:54

I've been induced twice, both times it took over 24 hours for them to break my waters.
when was the last time you were sick?

Kirbert2 · 12/02/2026 20:57

sharkstale · 12/02/2026 20:52

I was induced twice, the first time it took 3 days before they broke my waters, the second I was in for 5 days first. I think that's quite normal, so there's a good chance you won't miss the birth if your bug passes soon. Good luck to you both x

Just to add: i was going out of my mind both times being stuck in there during the induction process. Anyone who's had an induction will tell you they are horrendous. All those saying she's going to be a single mum anyway so let her do it alone are cruel. She's 15 ffs

Edited

I don't see many other options if OP isn't well and they insist that the induction goes ahead.

Hopefully it will take a few days anyway and OP is feeling better by then.

onlyforyou · 12/02/2026 20:58

There must be someone you can ask. Neither of you have any friends? Other mums from school? Neigbours?

Hankunamatata · 12/02/2026 20:58

Does she have an specialist support such as specialist midwife or social worker?
Obviously you cant be her birthing partner with a vomiting bug. Dd needs to make a choice if she goes it alone or is willing to wait a couple of days until you are better.

wordywitch · 12/02/2026 20:59

Was the baby found to be okay after she went to be checked for the reduced movements? If CTG was normal, growth is normal, your DD is low risk and is happy with the baby’s movements now, it would be entirely reasonable for her to delay the induction by a couple days. Inductions can be quite invasive and involve lots of vaginal exams, for such a young girl I’d want to be there for her as it’s such a vulnerable time.

hereismydog · 12/02/2026 21:02

My induction took six days, with every intervention imaginable. I spent most of that time crying, and I was 30! It ended in an emergency C-section, as 25% of inductions do. I couldn’t even comprehend going through that alone at the age of 15 Sad

If it’s safe to delay the induction itself (perhaps they would admit her for monitoring in light of reduced movements?), is there a friend/aunt/cousin who could be with her and you take over when you are 48hrs clear of vomiting? Or might she be open to having a professional doula with her, if you can find one at short notice?

msmillicentcat · 12/02/2026 21:06

Would a doula be an option?