Dubai single mum

[Shazzashaz]

Hi, posting on behalf of my daughter who is just starting court proceedings to relocate to Dubai with her daughter as dad not give permission. Just seeing if there are other mums going through or have gone through this for advice and support on how to get a good outcome on a caffcass 7 report done. X

It’s not about positive replies you do have to be realistic - she does have consistent fortnightly contact currently. Courts are upholding fathers “rights” like never before - Fathers4Justice haven’t been around for years now so that should tell people something

I know someone who wanted to relocate 100 miles from the East Midlands to London to be closer to family support. The court denied it

You're a bit of a fantasist aren't you?

Most people in Dubai would never ever encounter such things. If she's going over to work, not as an Instagram model, her life won't intersect with this at all.

Errr do you live in London? This sounds like one of those fake email forwards warning about strangers hiding razor blades in bags of sweets.

Yes, I have issues with Dubai but just as the panic making headlines about London being a no go area for white people/law and order collapsing in the UK so the stories about Dubai though often true wouldn't make it massively dangerous to someone like the OPs daughter. There are issues with vulnerable children being groomed into criminal activity in the UK. I care about that because I care about vulnerable children, but it doesn't mean me as a middle aged woman am personally at risk.

However, I would say that it isn't massively safer than the UK when you take those things into account. Not massively less safe but statistics like murder rates/sexual violence are very hard to compare across countries because how the police record things can vary so much. So one country can have a much lower femicide rate but a much higher female suicide or accidental death rate.

Also, because of the way the country works. If you were going to get into any confrontation with a local (traffic accident whatever) the power imbalance would work against you. It's best to be mindful of that but it might never be an issue.

Purple turtle 45? Current custody is mum has lived with order and at present no order for contact. Current order Exspired when child starting school in September as mum could no longer do journey to drop child to dad and dad do return journey without it impacting her job which she absolutely relies upon to be able to live?

Technically an expat is someone who goes to work in a specific country for a period of time with a company, I think. But yes, it has broadened our from that.

In Ben Judah's great book This Is London, he has a moment interviewing a young man who gives a 'translation' of London lingo, including rich immigrant =expat, poor immigrant = immigrant. That is how it often works out!

I guess probably a lot of Emratis don't like the expat/immigrant numbers but they have to put up with it as you get arrested for criticising the government or royal family quite easily.

It shows what an immoral, classist, misogynistic & racist place it is though. Many wealthy Arab men commit these crimes on trafficked Eastern European or Ugandan women as they see them as inferior.

Yes, who knows how much sexual assault on poor or vulnerable women is committed behind closed doors? Slaves making buildings just a few years ago, too.

There HAVE been protests about the genocidal RSF in the Sudan war, who are armed by the UAE. I will link.

Women get raped in Dubai, or used as porta potties.

It just tends to be poor housemaids, nannies or trafficked women.

Never forget this.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3ct854r

The rumours on TikTok were that there are disgusting parties where wealthy misogynists defecate into the mouths of Instagram models as a fetish. Often these women are trafficked sex workers from Eastern European or Uganda etc, or women who thought they were coming for a modelling or other job.

I didn't have the stomach to get through the BBC investigation into trafficking networks but there does seem to be truth to it 🤮

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3ct854r

Moral judgments about Dubai aside, I think it entirely depends on the custody arrangements and your daughter's circumstances. It sounds like if she has sole custody, he has limited contact, she receives no child support and needs to move to Dubai for work then there may be her ex could do to stop her. However, he can kick up a fuss and it is very complex to move children across borders without parental consent, so she should definitely consult a lawyer.

I can see why your DD might move to Dubai if there are job prospects and if her life would be easier. As a single mum in Singapore my life is MUCH easier. I have my parents for a start (huge bonus which I wouldn't have in the UK) but I also have a live in helper, affordable high quality full-time nursery and its a small place where its easy to connect with my friends and also her dad, who still lives here as well. If I was a single mum in the UK I would drown, no doubt about it. Dubai isn't my cup of tea but as a single mum myself I won't indulge in pearl clutching moral judgments about another woman who is in a similar situation.

Just to add, my assumption about moving a child cross-border is based on my own very unique circumstances in a different country, and the only country I would move to is the country we are both from so if ex-H kicked up a fuss about that I don't think he would have a leg to stand on. I do think it would be much harder for your DD and, as above, she should consult a lawyer.

Isn't there any way the dad can be forced to pay maintenance? It's disgraceful.

Singapore is a much better place than Dubai morally. There are issues with exploitation of house helps though.

I hope your helper is paid & treated fairly. There's no issue with help as long as people are

She need to sort out the child support issue rather than take their child halfway around the world. You are banging on about a better life for her and her mother and of course you. But you are missing out the loss to the child of the regular contact with her father. The simple fact is that she is unlikely to be granted leave to take the child, so kiss goodbye to the idea of you living the dream.

I am afraid that if you didnt want "YABU" then you shouldnt have posted here.

i normally roll my eyes and ignore the UAE bashing but is is factually incorrect. More women than men enter higher education in the UAE. The Minister of Education is female. University faculty are full of women (Emirati and non-Emirati), Emirati women have been selected as Rhodes Scholars, and women are leading research in key areas.

Epstein was trafficking women through Stanstead airport, what does that say about the UK then?

UK law is preferential towards father's having regular contact, even if they are abusive or just useless in looking after their own children, so I think the OPs daughter would have to make a very strong case about how it would be financially beneficial for the family to move there and emphasise the point the father could see the child regularly if he wanted. I don't think the daughter's friendship network in Dubai would make a difference as parental contact would take priority. It is a difficult one to argue in court.

As a single parent in the UK, I know that mine and my child's life would be infinitely better in the ME where my profession is better paid, with accommodation and with nursery and later school fees paid. In the UK, I am working long hours, paying for wraparound care and scraping to get by every month, as well as struggling with vitamin D deficiencies, despite supplements. But would the father of my child allow a move? Absolutely not, despite not being able to financially support our child. It's a very tough system.

Every other weekend I guess the courts would see as an involved dad so it might not be granted. I personally wouldn’t subject my child to flights to and from the UK every school holiday, it’s a lot of travelling. Will you pay for her to be accompanied? Does dad have enough AL to do this? All she can do is wait and see what the courts opinion is, but I can see why father is objecting. He does have a relationship with his DD, and it will suffer with her moving countries. It’s clearly mum (and grandma’s) dream, but it’s not in the best interests of the child. For many reasons, but main one preventing her relationship with her father, so he has every right to object.

You have more chance of getting justice in UK, though still many hurdles. We don't have laws against criticising the government or royals.

Moreover, the Dubai kafala system makes it really hard for migrants to press charges.

The move itself, too. I get expat Dubai is westernised but DD would still have to leave the friends she has, her familiar neighbourhood for a quite different country.

She is. I agree that some people treat their helpers appallingly and the protections for them are almost non-existent and probably worse in Dubai. It’s sadly up to individual employers to be decent and treat their helpers fairly, pay them a living wage with time off and pay expenses to visit family.

So father gets to see his child a few times a year! And do you seriously expect everyone to believe that her father is welcome to visit anytime he wants? Once you’re all out there you will start a campaign to turn your granddaughter against her father! This is all about what you and your daughter want! Nothing in what you say suggests otherwise, you’ve not even mentioned what your granddaughter feels about it!