Dubai single mum

[Shazzashaz]

Hi, posting on behalf of my daughter who is just starting court proceedings to relocate to Dubai with her daughter as dad not give permission. Just seeing if there are other mums going through or have gone through this for advice and support on how to get a good outcome on a caffcass 7 report done. X

Anyone fool enough to relocate to Dubai deserves all they get.

That's a nasty thing to say @MrThorpeHazell

Men pay to shit on women.

Oh sweet Jesus, literally as well as figuratively? 🤢 Why are some men so gross?! Very Epstein

Good evening

thank you all for your advice some positive some not?

my daughter has previously worked and lived in Dubai before her daughter was born and has a fast network of friends in Dubai.

Dubai is a very safe country and offers so much more than uk does in my daughters eyes.

she has secured a job (pending relocation) visa and healthcare and lived out allowance included.been to visit schools and put a holding deposit down to hold place for this year. Home will be 10 min from school. So my daughter has done everything in the best interest of her daughter to ensure this move will enhance her everyday living, education, emotional wellbeing, .

mum is offering to pay all fares for her daughter to see dad in holidays summer 4 weeks, march 2 weeks and Christmas 2 weeks. With as much indirect contact that dad wishes.
dad is welcome to come out too whenever he wants too.

at present dad sees daughter every other weekend as and when in holidays and no FaceTime or calls , or check-ins between that time. Mum does all school runs, doctors , dentist, sick days you name it and , works every weekend .

dad not paying maintenance and mum struggling financially which does effect the child.

so the move not only improves mums finances but it directly improves the child.

every single part of child’s welfare will be greatly improved.

also predictable quality time with mum on weekends.

maternal grandmother also going to move too as to help out as she does here too.

so please only positive response please and if you want to be negative please don’t comment.

just some advice from mums who have or are at present going through the same court/caffcass 7 and have some good advice.

thanks

so please only positive response please and if you want to be negative please don’t comment.

Lol. This board is called am I being unreasonable, not only comment if you agree with me

Weather, yep I agree there.

The break down of law and order though? I agree there's issues, I love a moan about the police as much as the next person but there has not been a breakdown of law and order. Violent crimes and knife related/gun crime is mostly down across the whole country. Murder rates in London are at a ten year low for example and lower than every city in America. Business robberies went up by a lot but that's partly because some businesses are reporting more (which they should! Shoplifting is a blight as are more violent robberies). We need more police. But there isn't a breakdown in law and order.

Dubai isnt dangerous either. You can walk around with valuables and not worry about being robbed for example. But when something happens you aren't always as protected as in the UK. Particularly if the perpetrator is a local. The murder rates/recorded crimes against women are lower BUT there are a lot more deaths of women accidentally falling out of windows for example. So you are statistically less likely to be murdered but more likely to jump out of a window for no reason. That doesn't make Dubai dangerous- the chances of falling out of a window are very low if you visit. But it's not as if I worry about windows in the UK either.

Also, in terms of safety, it's getting quite hot in that part of the Middle East (geopolitically). The UAE should be fine, they aren't directly involved with Israel or Iran but they have had their airspace closed due to both sides firing rockets at each other. It also has some beef developing with Saudi Arabia. I dont think that makes it dangerous- its not likely to be directly impacted by war. But its worth considering.

On topic: I know people who moved to Dubai and liked it though its not for me. But I can't imagine the courts giving permission for one parent to take the child to another country. Especially one so far away. So it's s moot point.

I missed this!
I can completely see why she would want to move away in those circumstances. But I just don't know if the reasons given are enough for the courts. Not paying maintenance won't be seen as a good enough reason to move the child where the father can't see him/her. It sucks. But she might be better placed putting all her energies into making him pay/chasing CMS.

I also think that in those circumstances she would be quite isolated out there. It takes time to build up a support network (pre child friends don't count) and a lot of the expat crowd are either younger/childless or in couples often where one partner is the trailing spouse.
I do know what it's like to be a single mum in a foreign country and it's harder to make/retain friends. Especially when the other "expat" women are the trailing spouse so they don't work and all the social arrangements are lunches. Also as a single mum some married women (not all) are weird about letting you into their circle. I made friendships (mostly with locals it was the Netherlands) but I would have struggled to do so in a place where single mums are much less usual like Dubai. Plus she/you would be away from the rest of her family. I worry it could get very lonely.

every single part of child’s welfare will be greatly improved.

Apart from being taken away from her father.

You and your daughter sound incredibly naive and selfish.

Best of luck to the both of you.

That's not true.
They really.dont really care about the moral circumstances of expats. Alcohol for example is freely available over there and you get influencers walking around with barely any clothes. They want to encourage foreigners to live there. It's an odd place, but the oddness doesn't come from religious fervour so much as an obsession with money/visual displays of wealth.

You wouldn't get stoned for being a single mum. However, it can be harder to make friends with other mums if you are the only single working mum in the group. And while day to day they are very tolerant of foreigners, if you did cross the wrong person (a local) and they had it in for you you would always be on the back foot.

But it's not Indiana Jones.

He does no actual parenting from that update, and sees his daughter on alternate weekends and when he can be arsed in school holidays. Sounds like he has the opportunity to spend more time with his daughter if she moves to dubai from the proposals that have been made. And also possibly an extension of controlling/abusive behaviour of him to refuse the permission to go.

OP I would wager that your daughter and granddaughter can move based on your update. I really hope it works out for them.

Thank you Adele for your message, yes he could sees his daughter more but choose not too .
my daughter feels he would have more quality time with his daughter and hopefully want to FaceTime and speak to her more .
so hard when one parent just wants to better their child’s every day circumstances now and for the future and one parent says no just because they can.

I don’t wear a Rolex - I wear a Cartier - and the answer to both is yes. Stop reading right wing media and look at some actual information about crime rates in the UK versus the rest of the world.

He is seeing his dauther regularly now.

I can't see how moving her to a different country with a plan to ship her back for majority of school holidays would be in the daughters best interest. What if she has some hobbies or friends she would like to do/meet during holidays?

I really hope the court stops it, for the girl's sake.

so please only positive response please and if you want to be negative please don’t comment.

Yeah, it doesn’t work like that.

Yeah that's a good point. If she is going back to the UK every holiday she will resent not having the same experiences as her friends who will be doing stuff together without her.
I've raised children in a different country to my own. And it's doable and can be enriching. But you have to be careful not to create a feeling of dislocation. Third country kids is worth looking up. Its one thing visiting family in another country, another if it's her father. I know people do raise children in different places to one parent. But it's a big step to take and you might want to read around how best to mitigate that.

There is not a complete breakdown in law and order in UK. There are whole sways of the UK that are perfectly law abiding and safe. It is highly likely that someone who can secure a lifestyle in Dubai as a single mother is either independently of means or has a skill base that means she is not living in high crime areas in UK. The weather in Dubai is far too hot for most Europeans who spend most of their lives in air conditioned buildings. Add the toxic culture and attitude to women and it is really hard to understand why someone would want to be a single mother in that society.

So, she’s sending him to her dad’s for all the holidays? How would only one person have enough holidays to cover this?

I'd like to think my comments were the positive ones.

I'd still wouldn't want any child of mine to be brought up in a country where men use women as portable potties.

When I was growing up my dad saw me every other weekend too. And my mum did everything.

However I know how much I missed my dad.

And I'm not with my child's dad now. I know it doesn't seem fair that the mum does everything and the dad hardly does anything and gets all the good bits and all the stuff that goes with being separated. I know there's that side. But I know how I felt about my dad growing up and how I missed him. And I know how my daughter misses her dad too. I could never take her away from her dad.

Posting on here is quite obviously going to attract negative comments about what's happening.

My post is not positive no. But I think it's fair

Oh come on. There’s all sorts of crimes in the UK but the vast majority of people are not involved and are safe. The same applies in Dubai. The OP’s daughter and granddaughter are not likely to be trafficked and sexually abused there, neither are they likely to voluntarily go to parties where men get off by shitting on them. It’s just absurd to think this way.

Schooling is cheaper in Dubai?

Shockingly selfish.

You say the mother will pay for her DD to travel to and from Dubai to see her dad. Unaccompanied? Or is dad expected to pay to travel and collect and drop off?

This cannot be in the best interests of a child who is in regular contact with her father. It’s very unlikely it will be approved.

OP look, if my DD and I could not change her surname to mine after 15 years of no contact from her father sitting in a prison abroad without his permission (which I did get eventually) then I’m not sure this is going to work out the way she hopes.

I walk around London with my phone all the time. I don't have a Rolex or any interest in one but I wear some fairly expensive jewellery. I see people walking around with their phones too, living a perfectly normal life in the city. This is really ridiculous scaremongering.

Similar circumstances to a friend that did this and it was granted.
However the visits back to uk to see dad had to accompanied travel by mum who would have to fly in and out and the amount of time spent in uk was a lot more weeks. So around 8 weeks spent in the uk per year until child was 15 and could travel alone. The dad refused to ever travel out to the country.