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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dubai single mum

164 replies

Shazzashaz · 10/02/2026 19:26

Hi, posting on behalf of my daughter who is just starting court proceedings to relocate to Dubai with her daughter as dad not give permission. Just seeing if there are other mums going through or have gone through this for advice and support on how to get a good outcome on a caffcass 7 report done. X

OP posts:
Lobelia123 · 13/02/2026 06:41

Charel2girl5 · 10/02/2026 19:40

I lived in the ME and when my daughters were 13and 15 we moved to the UK, there is no way I wanted them doing their teen years there. It’s a very misogynistic society and girls while treated well in private schools are in an environment that does not encourage girls in higher level education.
I’m so thrilled we made that decision as both are in uni and living their best life! Lifestyle is no replacement for real life.

Gosh this is completely opposite to my experience, i work for a global software company and the number of highly educated Emirati women starting there as software engineers, analysts and coders is fantastic.

GrandmasCat · 13/02/2026 07:31

I have supported friends through removal of jurisdiction battles and not a single one was successful. Of all the cases I have seen, your DD’s is the one with less merit by FAR.

No court would agree for the child to be removed from the country when the dad is in regular contact, much less so, given Dubai’s record and distance to father. The court will see rightly that this is not done on the girl’s best interests but her mother’s. Having a good job elsewhere is not grounds for allowing the change, as it could be easily argued that if she can get such a nice job there, she can surely find another in the UK without ending up living under a bridge.

The other thing your DD needs to consider is that family courts move at snail’s pace, they are not going to decide in a few weeks to allow the removal of a child, we are talking years here (and many £10,000s in legal fees) so no new employer will wait that long.

A removal of jurisdiction process will kill any good will left between the parents which is, incidentally, what the child needs to have stability while growing up. It will also throw the child into a series of long, painful and unfortunate prodding as each parent fights their corner trying to prove the other parent is not such a fit parent so the court agrees or disagrees with the removal. I wouldn’t put my child or myself through that just for a nice job under the sun and a possibly better school, and that goes without saying that the chances of winning are very, very slim.

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 07:49

graygoose · 13/02/2026 06:07

She is. I agree that some people treat their helpers appallingly and the protections for them are almost non-existent and probably worse in Dubai. It’s sadly up to individual employers to be decent and treat their helpers fairly, pay them a living wage with time off and pay expenses to visit family.

That's good 👍. I know the system is flawed, hopefully it will change

BishyBarnyBee · 13/02/2026 08:53

Did you say the child has just started school? So around 5?

And "mum is offering to pay all fares for her daughter to see dad in holidays summer 4 weeks, march 2 weeks and Christmas 2 weeks"

Surely it can't be in a young child's interests to be flown back and forth to spend long periods of time with a father she doesn't see at all for the rest of the time?

This feels like the mum is putting her own needs ahead of those of her child.

loislovesstewie · 13/02/2026 09:24

You just want validation OP. I'm sorry your daughter is struggling financially, but the opposite is that the child will struggle to have a relationship with her father. I can see nothing in your posts that indicate the ex to be abusive or any other reason why the child should not have regular contact. That happens at present. I thought that encouraging regular contact with a loving parent was the aim of arrangements, not taking the child thousands of miles away.

Adelle79360 · 13/02/2026 18:09

BananasAreForever · 13/02/2026 04:11

UK law is preferential towards father's having regular contact, even if they are abusive or just useless in looking after their own children, so I think the OPs daughter would have to make a very strong case about how it would be financially beneficial for the family to move there and emphasise the point the father could see the child regularly if he wanted. I don't think the daughter's friendship network in Dubai would make a difference as parental contact would take priority. It is a difficult one to argue in court.

As a single parent in the UK, I know that mine and my child's life would be infinitely better in the ME where my profession is better paid, with accommodation and with nursery and later school fees paid. In the UK, I am working long hours, paying for wraparound care and scraping to get by every month, as well as struggling with vitamin D deficiencies, despite supplements. But would the father of my child allow a move? Absolutely not, despite not being able to financially support our child. It's a very tough system.

The presumption of parental involvement is being repealed, as it’s recognised that it’s not in children’s best interests to have contact whatever the cost.

persephonia · 13/02/2026 18:11

Adelle79360 · 13/02/2026 18:09

The presumption of parental involvement is being repealed, as it’s recognised that it’s not in children’s best interests to have contact whatever the cost.

That's for abusive men though especially those imprisoned for abuse towards the partner or child. It's overdue, but it is unlikely to have much impact on the OPs case where the father is seeing his child EoW. It might be the bare minimum (especially with not even paying maintenance) but unless there's a huge drip feed it's not abusive/dangerous.

JHound · 13/02/2026 18:15

AllTheChaos · 10/02/2026 20:47

That seems a pretty cheap price for giving up of women’s rights and human rights, I will be honest.

Many many many women have moved to Dubai and live very happily earning a good amount of money.

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 18:16

persephonia · 13/02/2026 18:11

That's for abusive men though especially those imprisoned for abuse towards the partner or child. It's overdue, but it is unlikely to have much impact on the OPs case where the father is seeing his child EoW. It might be the bare minimum (especially with not even paying maintenance) but unless there's a huge drip feed it's not abusive/dangerous.

That's a good thing, people I know have had awful trouble with it in abusive circumstances.

I agree that this wouldn't be relevant to OP unless he's abusive

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 18:17

JHound · 13/02/2026 18:15

Many many many women have moved to Dubai and live very happily earning a good amount of money.

It's the poor migrant workers, & sex trafficked women who don't have rights.

Emirati women are governed by Sharia law which disadvantages women too.

JHound · 13/02/2026 18:21

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 18:17

It's the poor migrant workers, & sex trafficked women who don't have rights.

Emirati women are governed by Sharia law which disadvantages women too.

Poor migrant workers and victims of sex-trafficking have little rights and protections anywhere.

My point was thousands of women move there, not solely migrant workers and sex-trafficking victims.

JHound · 13/02/2026 18:22

I would say OP - I would be pushing to continue my life and not be held back by my child's useless parent.

But if he has decided to stop being useless enough to pursue this in court - at a minimum she needs to ensure he is actually paying proper maintenance. I would also expect more from him in terms of sharing the childcare load.

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 18:39

JHound · 13/02/2026 18:21

Poor migrant workers and victims of sex-trafficking have little rights and protections anywhere.

My point was thousands of women move there, not solely migrant workers and sex-trafficking victims.

Edited

They have much less in Dubai. Criticising the government or royals can land you in jail. The kafala system restricts them a lot.

Carla786 · 13/02/2026 18:40

JHound · 13/02/2026 18:22

I would say OP - I would be pushing to continue my life and not be held back by my child's useless parent.

But if he has decided to stop being useless enough to pursue this in court - at a minimum she needs to ensure he is actually paying proper maintenance. I would also expect more from him in terms of sharing the childcare load.

I agree strongly. If he were paying maintenance maybe the move would not be necessary? I get some kids love moving but many do not.

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