WWYD? School Incident.

[ciscowife]

DS (13) is a weekly boarder. Last night he texted me “can you come and get me”. I tried to call him a number of times to see what was the matter. I decided to phone the boarding house as this is out of character for him. Was told there had been an incident and he was very upset. Drove to collect him immediately without knowing what had happened. He was in an absolute state when I got there.
He had been dragged into a bedroom by a Y13 and Y10 pinned to the bed, wrapped up in a blanket so he couldn’t move and then threatened with being water boarded, and having various liquids and things shoved in his mouth. Luckily they were interrupted by the lady who was on duty. She knocked on the door and opened it to tell them something, DS shouted for help and managed to get away but he was then chased by them. He tried to run away from the school to get away from them.
The school dealt with it quickly and we had late phone calls with deputy head followed by meetings today. The two boys have been suspended for the rest of this week which basically means they are getting an extended half term break.
We feel that this isn’t acceptable punishment because it could have been an awful outcome. Some friends who are either in boarding/teaching have said that this should be a police matter and the council safeguarding team should be informed.
So WWYD oh wise mums in the net!

What is the school’s complaint and safeguarding policies, because I would be going down those routes.

I agree with your friends, and I would contact the police myself. School is failing here. Would they have told you if your son hadn’t called you?

Absolutely no way have school dealt with this appropriately. Had they not rung you following the incident themselves? This needs a safeguarding referral to LADO in lieu of appropriate response from school.

the ages of the boys here is significant IMO - this is not horseplay from peers.

Where is the school's Safeguarding Lead in all this? Potentially you do need to contact the police/LEA yourself.

I think I'd start with my DC in this case:
How does your son feel about it all? Does he want to continue at the school?

edited to add:
I think you have firm grounds for withdrawing him and demanding a refund of your fees. They should be falling all over themselves for you and your son.

And on re reading, once an adult interrupted they still chased him? And they’ve been suspended for 4 days?

Suspension is (at least) necessary here and not an extended holiday.

That’s shocking!

Jesus this was really shocking to read
I am not surprised he's upset
I would not want to send him back

They have been immediately suspended but that doesn’t mean the school will leave it at that, I suspect they need to investigate, and make a decision. Whether it’s a police matter will depend on exactly what happened. I’d be asking for a meeting with the housemaster and head of safeguarding as a starting point

That’s disgusting of the school I would be taking this much further.
As previous posters have said this could have ended extremely badly for your son and the ages are relevant here- the year 13 boy especially.

I would report it to the police - with your son's consent of course - and he wouldn't be going back there. He isn't safe there, the school's response is inadequate and there's no way I would want my son - already more vulnerable due to living away from home - to have to encounter those boys in the showers/corridors/common rooms.

I very much doubt this is the two boys' first offence. You don't go from being a lovely, well balanced boy directly to an attack like that. It may well be the end of the line for them, but the school will suspend first while they investigate.

I would be calling the police and looking for another school.

I sure as hell hope these children are being expelled. I went to boarding school back in the 90s. Students at my school would have been thrown out easily for much less than this. Being caught with class A drugs in halls, done. Cheating on an exam, gone. This is a serious assault and I wouldn’t be happy with anything less than expulsion. At what, 18/15 ish? they should absolutely know better than assaulting a 13 year old.

Support your son in reporting to the police if he wishes to.

Do not, in any circumstances, send him back to that school. Their safeguarding is appalling.

I expect that this isn’t the end of it. Suspending gives the school a chance to investigate and you a chance to complain about their handling of the situation.

Call the police now. They’ve assaulted him. Your son is not safe there.

I would immediately remove my child from that school, report them to the ISC for safeguarding failure and report the incident to the police. The school don't seem to be taking it seriously enough. And they can't keep your child safe

Exactly. It’s really worrying and scary

I am so utterly sorry op. Police for sure and school complaints policy. This is very serious and I would find it hard to return him there. So hard for your DS (and you too).

Let's imagine that this happened outside of a school. What would you do? If 'report to the police' is the answer, then that is what you should do.

The fact that it happened at school is irrelevant although you'd think he'd have been safe at school - clearly not.

Police definitely and dont send your DS back. Get onto the education authorities as well x I hope your DS is ok x

Gordonstoun?

A Y13 is 17/18? I would definitely be making a police complaint.

What's the set up that a 17/18 year old could have a 13 year old alone in a bedroom? The whole thing sounds like a problem.

Another vote for this