WWYD? School Incident.

[ciscowife]

DS (13) is a weekly boarder. Last night he texted me “can you come and get me”. I tried to call him a number of times to see what was the matter. I decided to phone the boarding house as this is out of character for him. Was told there had been an incident and he was very upset. Drove to collect him immediately without knowing what had happened. He was in an absolute state when I got there.
He had been dragged into a bedroom by a Y13 and Y10 pinned to the bed, wrapped up in a blanket so he couldn’t move and then threatened with being water boarded, and having various liquids and things shoved in his mouth. Luckily they were interrupted by the lady who was on duty. She knocked on the door and opened it to tell them something, DS shouted for help and managed to get away but he was then chased by them. He tried to run away from the school to get away from them.
The school dealt with it quickly and we had late phone calls with deputy head followed by meetings today. The two boys have been suspended for the rest of this week which basically means they are getting an extended half term break.
We feel that this isn’t acceptable punishment because it could have been an awful outcome. Some friends who are either in boarding/teaching have said that this should be a police matter and the council safeguarding team should be informed.
So WWYD oh wise mums in the net!

What a massively frightening thing for your DS & you to go through.
This will be in my thoughts for quite some time.
I hope you are both in an ok state today.

Police. ISC won't do anything. They will refer back to 'the own schools independent safeguarding policy first'
I would also want my fees back and remove if the children were not removed from the school.

The trouble with reporting this to the police is that OP's son will have to make a statement, and potentially go through a very hard time in the witness box being cross-examined by the boys' barristers. If it were my son, I would think long and hard before committing him to that.

I guess the school may be reluctant to expel because the older one at least is about to do A levels. However, my view would be that he should have thought of that for himself. For what it's worth, he won't miss that much teaching at this stage and can presumably take the exams elsewhere.

There are a lot of assumptions on this thread. Everything from 'police won't do anything' to 'the police will do something, it will get to court and the offenders will pled not guilty'.

So frankly, I'd ignore all this bullshit.

Police are appropriate. It begs questions of the school regardless. It puts pressure on them to take it seriously. They will not want to risk similar reoccuring for various reasons.

The fact there is an 18 year old involved also changes safeguarding and prosecution implications.

I would take my son out of that school. I would not feel comfortable to leave him there in future. This is so scary!

I don't have anything to add to what everyone else has posted but hope that you and your son are both ok. What a horrendous situation for you both, I think the boys involved need psychiatric help as well as suitable punishment, that really isn't normal behaviour.

This. Poor kid

Would you like to guarantee that these kids will plead guilty and OP's child won't have to give evidence? Bearing in mind that most of it is his word against theirs, and if their parents can afford private school fees they can probably afford good barristers?

Or is your thinking that it's OK if it's reported to the police and they decide to take it no further? Will that make OP's son feel any better?

I'm not saying OP shouldn't report, simply that she needs to be aware of what may follow.

This is very clearly a police matter. The school cannot shield this adult and child from the harm they attempted to cause.

Your child should be accepted as a day pupil, with a due refund, immediately, if this is what you prefer.

I hope your son is ok and the conversations with school are constructive

That’s awful so sorry for your DS. I think you’ve got perfect case for having your DS as a day pupil now. I also hope that they get punished properly

I think it's quite likely that the suspension is just a preliminary response, given that it would have been inappropriate for them to make final decisions overnight. The school will probably be thinking about expulsion now.

I think this, too, in the same way someone might be suspended from work while misconduct is investigated, before they're sacked.

Echoing what everyone has said about the police. I would want the 18 year old to be treated like an adult who has assaulted someone and not a school child.

Is it fuck.

If a kid got stabbed on school grounds would you tell the police 'it's ok, no need to investigate. It's a school matter'?

100% police issue and also a safeguarding concern. I would be calling the police, and I would be doing a referral to children's MASH. I would also probably be contacting OFSTED to raise concerns about behaviour management and the way they handle bullying at the school.

It's sad that posters are questioning the police's involvement and questioning techniques. I hope your ds is OK now. I wonder though if he is entitled to claim legal aid and get a solicitor to represent him and give advice on the circumstances. I must admit I would look at removing him from the school due to a lack of responsibility for safeguarding.

I'm wondering if " Pocketpairs " is related to one of those shits or a member of staff. Doesn't feel the police should be involved, wants it kept "inhouse" BIG RED FLAG for safe guarding

The police took the bullying of my child very seriously. I would not hesitate to phone the police. Please do it. Your poor son, such a frightening experience for him.

We can't guarentee anything. It also shouldn't be a reason to avoid doing so either because they might not do that precisely because its so cut and dried in terms of it being totally not on.

My son went through an assault at school. I did contact the police it was videoed and put on line and hand on what can say it’s the worst thing I have ever watched. School suspended the boy for 3 days but we also reported to police as we had the video evidence of the sheer violence he endured.
the police did charge him and his mother moved him school but we never did find out the outcome of the children’s panel. What I do know is that school did not take it seriously until we involved police and local mp.
be your kids voice right now he has been through a terrible time. Stand up and show him that is not ok. I’m so sorry he and you have gone through this but yes remove your kid as I did and best thing I ever done.

OP says in her post this is not a private school.

Don't know if they still are, but often were used for forces' children to give them stability whilst their parents were posted all over the place.

As a teacher for over 40 years, please go to the police.

Believe it or not, in case like this, it's frustrating for teachers too, to see things minimised or swept under the carpet by those at the top. There will be teachers cheering you on as you take this further to protect your son. Even if it doesn't proceed to any charges, at least it will be noted somewhere and these miscreants will know that if they try anything again, you'll be all over them

Wishing your son well too.

Sorry for not replying to you all sooner. I read all of your comments and was blown away by all the support and well wishes. It’s been a crazy week and one I hope never to repeat.
As a quick update if anyone is interested; the police have been informed (at the agreement of DS) so we will see where that goes.
DS is not now and will not in the future be boarding. He seems ok and we will keep a very close and sensible eye on him. Thank you everyone. X

Quite. Maybe if someone gets attacked in Greggs, then Greggs can deal with it.
Or if someone gets stabbed in the street the council can deal with it.
Assaulted in a pub? Get Wetherspoons management in.

Thanks for the update OP.
You and your son are best placed to decide about his future at the school, not us random internet people.
I am pleased you have spoken to the Police though. The older 'boy' is an adult and should act as one and be treated as one.
All the best to your lad 🤗