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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having a cleaner but no job

221 replies

Mrspepperpotpot · 09/02/2026 21:10

A few months ago I lost my job, I’m actually really really enjoying being at home with my 2 year old. He isn’t in any childcare at the moment, we had a nanny prior to me losing my job. We also have a 5yo and a 7yo, obviously fulltime at school, they do a few clubs in the week but no wrap around.

Our house is very big. Nearly 6000sqft and an acre garden. 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

We’ve never had a gardener, but we did have a cleaner once a fortnight for 6 hours when I was working. When I lost my job we let the cleaner go as I was going to be at home all the time.

The thing is im finding it really hard to keep on top of. I did a fair amount of cleaning even with the cleaner but I think I’m ALOT slower and my son now doesn’t nap so although he tags along with some of the cleaning he obviously gets bored after a while.

I’ve tried schedules etc and they do work but it just feels a lot.

We could afford a cleaner probably but would have to maybe stop a club or something to compromise

Am I being lazy? I’m at home literally all the time! I feel AWFUL that I’m getting overwhelmed with just some cleaning!’

OP posts:
hyacinthwannabe · 09/02/2026 21:12

Are you going to stop a kids club so you can have a cleaner? Maybe you need to better organise your time. My buddy is at home and has a retired husband. They have a cleaner but she’s the only person I know who is at home and has one.

SunnyViper · 09/02/2026 21:13

I have a 6 bed, 5 bath home with 5 acres. I manage to clean and manage the land as well as work 20hrs a week🤷‍♂️

Eenameenadeeka · 09/02/2026 21:13

I understand how hard it can be to get the cleaning done with a toddler around, but I think it would be so unreasonable to stop a club in order to pay for a cleaner. I'd do the cleaning that you can't get done with the toddler when DH is home or after the 2year old is in bed.

Jrisix · 09/02/2026 21:14

I hate cleaning. I would cut back something else and get a cleaner. Not a kids club but something I buy for myself.

Cat1504 · 09/02/2026 21:15

This reply has been deleted

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McSpoot · 09/02/2026 21:16

If you can pay by giving up a personal “luxury”, fine. Taking something away from your children to do so would make you unreasonable.

Original poster
Mrspepperpotpot · 09/02/2026 21:17

SunnyViper · 09/02/2026 21:13

I have a 6 bed, 5 bath home with 5 acres. I manage to clean and manage the land as well as work 20hrs a week🤷‍♂️

How old are your children

OP posts:
Brewtiful · 09/02/2026 21:17

Honestly it seems excessive and unnecessary. I dislike cleaning but surely not all the house needs cleaning, all the bathrooms for example?

If it means a child missing out on doing a club then it seems a little selfish when you're not at work.

Arlanymor · 09/02/2026 21:17

Please don’t take experiences away from your kid to find something you don’t want to do.

DarkForces · 09/02/2026 21:17

McSpoot · 09/02/2026 21:16

If you can pay by giving up a personal “luxury”, fine. Taking something away from your children to do so would make you unreasonable.

Agree with this but if you're struggling then dh needs to step up and do more

Original poster
Mrspepperpotpot · 09/02/2026 21:19

DarkForces · 09/02/2026 21:17

Agree with this but if you're struggling then dh needs to step up and do more

Show quote history

He’s away a lot, he can’t help with any of the house stuff

OP posts:
Keroppi · 09/02/2026 21:21

What type of cleaning? Grounds keeping chores as well as general tidying? Perhaps you don't need to use all of those rooms
I don't see how it'd be fair to cut a kids club for a few hours a week cleaner.

You either get up early/stay up later to do the big deep clean jobs (or just do it non the weekend) and keep on top of the day to day wiping down stuff, emptying bins, hoover and spray mop.

Get a lodger perhaps or look for some evening work if you have a DH

Once it's summer you can throw the kids outside with some water toys and crack on with stuff.

minipie · 09/02/2026 21:23

6000 sq ft is massive, do you actually use it all? Surely you don’t use all 5 bathrooms?

I’m a lone voice saying pay for a cleaner and cut out a club. A 5 and 7 year old really don’t need many clubs - how many are yours doing?

mauditsoitils · 09/02/2026 21:25

Pay for a cleaner. Be a happier less stressed person. It’ll make you a better mum. I don’t think it’s lazy. Some people just aren’t natural cleaners or tidyers and get overwhelmed because they still have high standards. It’s okay to need help.

Whocares63 · 09/02/2026 21:26

By all means get a cleaner. But please don't cut out your kids clubs. Find another way

Original poster
Mrspepperpotpot · 09/02/2026 21:27

minipie · 09/02/2026 21:23

6000 sq ft is massive, do you actually use it all? Surely you don’t use all 5 bathrooms?

I’m a lone voice saying pay for a cleaner and cut out a club. A 5 and 7 year old really don’t need many clubs - how many are yours doing?

A lot of clubs! 5 each! 1 is doing 2 gym classes which could easily be cut back

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 09/02/2026 21:27

You dont need the internet's permission. You just need to agree this with your husband.

Even with a fortnightly cleaner covering the basics there's still plenty to do.

And if anyone called me a lazy bitch, I'd tell them to fuck off.

ObviouslyNamechangedforcleaner · 09/02/2026 21:28

I have no opinion on what is morally right here but I have no job, no children and still have a weekly cleaner and my house is not as big as yours. I love coming back to a clean house.

Don’t feel guilt about something that makes your load lighter. If you’re at home with the children they might not need clubs so much and as long as you wouldn’t end up in dire financial straits, go nuts!

MuddyPawsIndoors · 09/02/2026 21:30

DisplayPurposesOnly · 09/02/2026 21:27

You dont need the internet's permission. You just need to agree this with your husband.

Even with a fortnightly cleaner covering the basics there's still plenty to do.

And if anyone called me a lazy bitch, I'd tell them to fuck off.

Some people just like to start a divisive thread.

Whocares63 · 09/02/2026 21:30

Ah your kids are doing a lot of clubs. That somewhat changes the perspective. I agree with PP that you could cut back on some of your kids clubs perhaps.

Coka · 09/02/2026 21:32

I was going to say YANBU until you said you would have to stop a club, is that a kids club? If so then to me it seems you cannot afford a cleaner. I would just lower standards for a while and let the house be a bit grubby if needed.

Riverflow6 · 09/02/2026 21:32

I think it’s fine

Brewtiful · 09/02/2026 21:32

Mrspepperpotpot · 09/02/2026 21:27

A lot of clubs! 5 each! 1 is doing 2 gym classes which could easily be cut back

Show quote history

That's not really the definition of few clubs a week...

It all seems very excessive 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms and 5 clubs each. Hmm

Gazelda · 09/02/2026 21:32

Is there really nothing else you could cut?

while I don’t necessarily think you lazy for wanting a cleaner, and don’t necessarily think your DC need 5 clubs each, it feels a bit mean to cull something your children enjoy and benefit from so that you can outsource a chore you dislike.

RawBloomers · 09/02/2026 21:33

I can see why it might be difficult with a non napping 2 year at home to get things done in the day. I personally found housework a struggle because I hate it. So the thought of dragging myself to the hoover when DDs were finally absorbed in something did not appeal at all and didn't always happen when it probably could have. We had a cleaner for a while and the house was nicer, but I actually prefer to have the money and a slightly less clean house.