Having a cleaner but no job

[Mrspepperpotpot]

A few months ago I lost my job, I’m actually really really enjoying being at home with my 2 year old. He isn’t in any childcare at the moment, we had a nanny prior to me losing my job. We also have a 5yo and a 7yo, obviously fulltime at school, they do a few clubs in the week but no wrap around.

Our house is very big. Nearly 6000sqft and an acre garden. 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

We’ve never had a gardener, but we did have a cleaner once a fortnight for 6 hours when I was working. When I lost my job we let the cleaner go as I was going to be at home all the time.

The thing is im finding it really hard to keep on top of. I did a fair amount of cleaning even with the cleaner but I think I’m ALOT slower and my son now doesn’t nap so although he tags along with some of the cleaning he obviously gets bored after a while.

I’ve tried schedules etc and they do work but it just feels a lot.

We could afford a cleaner probably but would have to maybe stop a club or something to compromise

Am I being lazy? I’m at home literally all the time! I feel AWFUL that I’m getting overwhelmed with just some cleaning!’

I’d get a cleaner and cut a club. You matter too x

That sounds very excessive. Cut one and get a cleaner!

The comments aren't passing the vibe check.

At 2, your son doesn't need clubs but he does need an unstressed mummy and a clean environment helps too.

If you want a cleaner, you get one.

Do you really need 5 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms with two children?

Looking after a two year old all day and two other children part of the day is a job, just not a paid one. Five clubs each is too many anyway. Cancel a club and get a cleaner!

yes definitely this. People's standards are different too - I know lots that don't have cleaners, and I could achieve their level of clean easily, but not my cleaners' level in all rooms, bathrooms, etc. cleaned once a week.

That is a big house! Mine is 6 bed, 5 bath and is 3000. I just about manage - just (and badly at times). I do work and children are at school though. I found the house more difficult to keep in top of when I was at home with toddlers.
I think double the house size of mine I wouldn’t cope - that really is a giant house ( I consider mine huge) . I would be considering getting some help.

Have a cleaner if you want one! I hate doing the cleaning and have always had a cleaner even when I didn’t work. My husband is away a lot with his job and I have never felt guilty about it. Who cares what anyone else thinks! Some people are really good at cleaning but it takes me ages and I end up worn out.

Well we all have a room each and one guest room it’s not that excessive? Yes we have a lot of bathrooms. We use 4 of them.

I have 3 kids, only older ones do clubs, toddler just swimming

good for you! how lovely, no one has to clean!

If you can afford it then I would get the cleaner back. Other people’s experiences are not yours - so just because someone else can manage to clean their big house and work doesn’t mean we all can. If you can afford it spend the extra time with your son and enjoy these precious years.

How old are your children?

Blimey, OP, you have really brought the martyrs out tonight. Asking your children to sacrifice so you can have more time indeed! How about the increased attention your toddler gets if you are not fobbing him off while you clean? Cut a couple of clubs, get some help with the cleaning and spend some extra down time with the children.

I’ve never had a cleaner or gardener, but am in a minority among the people I know, most of whom work full time and commute (as used to be the case for me). I outsource windows and ovens but we do the rest between us. My house is much cleaner than when I worked, but I could certainly be more systematic and efficient - maybe you could look at some of your processes and see if you could speed things up a bit? People speak highly of The Organised Mum Method for example.

That sounds huge! I can’t imagine owning a house that large and not affording a cleaner. I’d downsize and use extra cash to have a nicer life including a cleaner. Surely taking your son out to groups/do things is more fun than stuck at home cleaning.

What do you mean by “a lot”? How often is he away?

And what do you mean by “house stuff”? Is it cleaning, cooking, laundry, maintenance? All of that? He literally does nothing?

how strange

Ashamed? Dear god. This thread is bringing out some very peculiar people.

Did she actually say she dislikes doing it?
I got the impression that it's too much for her to keep on top of and she's practically single parenting .
Editing to add, she also admitted to feeling overwhelmed....

I don’t work at the moment. We have a cleaner that comes twice a week for 2-2.5hrs. Kids at school. If you can afford it, just do it.

It really depends on your financial situation. If you’re skint because you’ve lost your job then no don’t get a cleaner. If your household income is still high and you can afford it the get a cleaner.

That is one gigantic house to clean and heat and maintain . Have you considered downsizing?

I was going to say if you can afford the cleaner get the cleaner but I don't think it's fair to stop the children's clubs if you're not even working as you can clean yourself. You don't even need to do it all in one day but you could have a plan to do it room by room. Ultimately it's up to you and your husband who may also be able to do some cleaning.

IMO it is ridiculous to be able to afford a 6000 sq ft house, acre garden, 3 kids, multiple clubs and SAHM but not have a cleaner.

I would rather have a cleaner than have such a massive house. I would rather have a cleaner than be a SAHM. I would rather have a cleaner than my young kids do 5 clubs each.

Admittedly I really dislike cleaning but I just think it’s mad to have all these trappings of wealth but not be able to enjoy it because you can’t afford any help to keep it in a decent state so you spend your whole life cleaning and gardening.

It depend on the clubs. Kids don’t need too many. It’s exhausting for everybody. It’s relentless when they’re little, plus finding stretches of time to deep clean are almost impossible.

can you compromise and get a deep clean once a month? I did that when my kids were younger.