Having a cleaner but no job

[Mrspepperpotpot]

A few months ago I lost my job, I’m actually really really enjoying being at home with my 2 year old. He isn’t in any childcare at the moment, we had a nanny prior to me losing my job. We also have a 5yo and a 7yo, obviously fulltime at school, they do a few clubs in the week but no wrap around.

Our house is very big. Nearly 6000sqft and an acre garden. 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

We’ve never had a gardener, but we did have a cleaner once a fortnight for 6 hours when I was working. When I lost my job we let the cleaner go as I was going to be at home all the time.

The thing is im finding it really hard to keep on top of. I did a fair amount of cleaning even with the cleaner but I think I’m ALOT slower and my son now doesn’t nap so although he tags along with some of the cleaning he obviously gets bored after a while.

I’ve tried schedules etc and they do work but it just feels a lot.

We could afford a cleaner probably but would have to maybe stop a club or something to compromise

Am I being lazy? I’m at home literally all the time! I feel AWFUL that I’m getting overwhelmed with just some cleaning!’

The cost of 6000 sq foot houses varies. I looked them up closest to me and they are at the £3.5m to £4m mark. About half have a staff flat.

I agree with the fur coat and no knickers comment. That was one of my gran's.

I’d much rather do my job than clean.

House is a bit like this with no annex https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/162168038

Very open plan

it’s interesting to see the views, yes we should live somewhere smaller, it’s not quite as easy to just sell it. We might even make a loss with today’s market

it’s a financial struggle to live here but here we are.

Miss a club get a cleaner x take kids swimming rambling biking instead x I’d do anything rather than clean x

Oh god - do just get a cleaner. Just thinking of mopping those floors makes me feel faint.

do you have kids?

me too. my husband refused point blank for us to have a cleaner and we were rolling in money - no problem to pay at all as we both worked more than full-time in intensely stressful land demanding jobs. I ended up having a psychotic break form all the stress I was under

Oh that’s awful, people do have a block when it comes to cleaners, I often do chores alongside mine, they are paid well and so it’s a win win

he is a hoarder so a big barrier was that unless he dealt with that issue it would be very hard for a cleaner to do their job in our house. but the hoarding in itself was a factor breaking me too - so overwhelming

You aren’t lazy, If you can afford it get a cleaner

Why not downsize than struggle because you want a big house?

OP, while I know you said it was very open plan but could you just shut the door on some rooms and not use them?

Our house is very big. Nearly 6000sqft and an acre garden. 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms

LOL. I would hate to live in a place that big and have to clean it!!
Reminds me of Downton Abbey...

Give me my apartment any day.

I am thinking of the upkeep of the grounds as well.

If your DH is so insistent on living in such a vast house then it should be for him to fund the cleaner.

A house that is around 5 to 6 times the average is probably a full time job in itself to keep clean.

When my children were primary school age I had a cleaner even though I didn’t work. A big house is a lot to keep and if it stops you feeling so overwhelmed I’d say do it, but try to cut something back of yours or DH instead of the children.
Now my children are older, I have more time (even though I work very part time) and I’m not running them here or there, I do the cleaning myself.

Its not about being lazy, its about the standards you set for yourself and your family and if you can reach them and what to cut back on if you need help to do so.

Personally my children's enrichment outside of school is a very high priority for me and I personally go without a lot so that they can do these things. But my kids are older than yours and they are doing things that will benefit them in the long term.

I'd rather dusty skirting boards and busy, happy, motivated kids but if having a show home is higher priority for you then maybe you can cut back on something.

Yes

So, you've shown us a house in one of the very cheapest parts of the country to live.
What do you estimate your house is worth?
It is relevant because this is essentially a financial discussion.

Did you mean to sound so superior??

Children can be enriched, happy and motivated in homes with a cleaner. Ditto without five nights a week of after school clubs.

I grew up poor, my motivation, happiness and enrichment came from my parents’ efforts and love.