I was snobby, apparently

[Rayners]

last year sister was showing me her holiday photos. She went to Spain and the photos were basically the kids in a holiday club, the kids eating burgers, the kids eating pizzas, the kids in a swimming pool, her DH with a pint, her and her DH doing karaoke in a bar etc etc … all of the photos were taken in the hotel complex with a couple of shots at the beach. I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

After a bit of scrolling she started saying stuff like “god these are boring! Were you not bored? Dd must have been bored?”

The photos in question were picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns. I said “DD loved it” so she chose one photo to show me which “proved” that DD was bored … a picture of DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.

Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

So was I out of order for what I said??? And AIBU to think our holiday wasn’t “totally unsuitable” for a child?

It's just different types of holidays, but you do sound snobby as if you think your holiday is better than theirs

I think the Butlins comment was a teensy bit snobby.

You could have just said "we all had a great time thanks!"

Butlins with the heat turned up. Each to their own

Yep. You do sound snobby.

Everyone has a different idea of what makes a good holiday.

But you should not have been so rude about your sister's. I'm not surprised she's pissed off.

She was outright telling me that their holiday was better than ours - whilst also telling me y poor Dd was bored and we were selfish for not doing something more child orientated

But it’s fine for her to be rude about my holiday??

what was I meant to do, agree that our holiday was boring??

You do come across as being snobby and looking down on what she enjoyed doing. I’d still prefer your holiday countless times over though.

It depends on the family dynamics.
If the family prefer variety entertainment, the same food there as here and constant go go go entertainment and you would rather seek out the historic aspects, explore culture and be "boring" then go for it.
They sound inverted snobs - which is snobbery by another name.

If she was going on and on about how boring she thought your holiday looked, to the point that you felt got at and then exploded, then I think she was probably having a go because she was jealous.

Because if she was satisfied with her own holiday she would have been polite about yours, no matter what she thought.

Maybe a leeeetle snobby. But not wrong 😂

I think you and your sister were both a bit rude, but let's be honest, she's your SISTER, so does it matter? She likes her type of holiday, you like yours. Personally I like both types of holidays!

You definitely sound like you believe your holiday was superior! Your sister has more than likely felt this vibe from you numerous times.

what were you meant to say?

‘We had a great holiday and weren’t bored at all. Please stop saying it was boring because you’re making me cross’.

She was rude

You were snobby 😂

Eh? It was her sister being rude that prompted the OP’s ‘snobby’ reply!

Don’t dish it up if you can’t take it!

She asked for it if you ask me. Insulted your choice first. If she can't take it, don't dish it out.

Having said that, sometimes it's worth keeping your trap shut just for the sake of family harmony. I suppose you could still make your point while saying "Horses for courses/it wouldn't do for us to all like the same thing, would it?. I'm glad you enjoyed your holiday. We all enjoyed ours too, including the kids. We love Italy." Then change the subject.

You did not comment at the time because you recognised you like different things and then she was bloody rude and that makes you snobby? She’s pathetic.

She got the comment that she GOADED you into making.
Sounds to me as though she’s jealous.
I like her kind of holiday just as much as your kind.

They both have their own merits.
I’d never make a comment like hers. She’s a cheeky cunt.
You don’t sound like a snob, at all.

But surely you know you like a different type of holiday to them, she thinks your type is boring and you think theirs is not as good as they didn't leave the hotel. You aren't ever going to agree, and I bet this isn't the first time that you put across you feel superior to you sisters choices or decisions

Your sister is a pleb #BritAbroad, and probably jealous. 🤭

No, some people just have an unpleasant personality and can't help but have a dig.

YANBU. You clearly had no intention of making any kind of negative comment about her holiday until she went on and on about your 'boring' one. Yours sounds much better to me, but that's not the point. She was insistently rude. You understandably reacted.

And maybe add, “shut the fuck up about my holiday”.

I agree with the poster who mentioned inverted snobbery.

The fact that some people see ops holiday as superior is interesting- superior not simply different.

other people place a value order on things and the get huffy that you like things higher up the value chain / like it makes you a snob

insecurity I guess at the heart of it

You know, the stupid thing is our holiday probably cost less than there’s did so it’s certainly not about flashing the cash