I was snobby, apparently

[Rayners]

last year sister was showing me her holiday photos. She went to Spain and the photos were basically the kids in a holiday club, the kids eating burgers, the kids eating pizzas, the kids in a swimming pool, her DH with a pint, her and her DH doing karaoke in a bar etc etc … all of the photos were taken in the hotel complex with a couple of shots at the beach. I said they were nice photos and left it at that.
Later in the year we (me, DH and Dd) went to Italy. I uploaded a few photos on Facebook but not many. When we got back sister asked to see my photos - I said they’re on Facebook so she said “there’s hardly any on there and they’re the boring ones, I want to see them all” so I gave her my phone to scroll through them.

After a bit of scrolling she started saying stuff like “god these are boring! Were you not bored? Dd must have been bored?”

The photos in question were picturesque cobbled streets, mountains, churches, castles and abandoned towns. I said “DD loved it” so she chose one photo to show me which “proved” that DD was bored … a picture of DD sat staring ahead … at mt. Vesuvius. The reason she looked emotionless was because she was fascinated by it and often sits and stares at things … especially considering what she’d learnt that morning in Pompei!

Sister kept going on about what a boring holiday it must have been and how we should think about DD next time etc so I snapped and said “she enjoyed the holiday! I’m not been funny but your holiday photos might as well have been taken at Butlins”.

Now - this comment has come back on me ten fold - she told the entire (large) family what it id said and now I’m thought of as snobby and jealous as well as “trying to be something I’m not”. In a conversation this morning with my mum she brought it up again and asked why id said that - I told her (again!) what she’d said about my holiday photos to which she replied “well I’m not been funny but it did look a bit boring for a child”.

So was I out of order for what I said??? And AIBU to think our holiday wasn’t “totally unsuitable” for a child?

I think you will find the sister was the rude one. By constantly picking fault with the ops holiday. Personally I think it was more than reasonable for the op to snipe back.

Sounds like she was spoiling for a fight! And from what you've said, hers might as well have been Butlins but hotter 🤣 that's just a fact.
Heaven forbid children get to see and experience some culture!

Id have done the same, she was being overly judgy and annoying. Are the family always more precious with her?

That's really not the point is it? The OP was perfectly polite about the AI holiday at first, despite it not being her sort of thing. The sister kicked it all off by being so incredibly rude later about the OP's holiday. And for the family to then gang up on OP is pathetic. I don't think the point is to judge the content of the insults but rather the provocation.

I don’t think you were at all snobby, your sister clearly doesn’t like your type of holiday and that’s fine but she’s wrong to have a go at you because of it and and she goaded you into saying something you probably wouldn’t normally say so deserved all she got!

Truth be told, it probably was better! 😂😂

Why is it when someone doesn’t agree they go to asking if someone is being purposely obtuse instead of considering that they don’t view things in the same way?

I don’t see Butlins as low class or disliking it makes someone snooty, it’s just another standard AI resort place to me that you could easily find in other countries and plenty come out quite pricy. Same with cruises.

OP’s comment was ‘it looked like Butlins’ yet she is somehow on the same level as her sister who straight up called OP’s pictures boring and went as far as saying things about OP’s daughter and parenting.

Ignore the fact that this so-called aunt doesn’t know her own niece and doesn’t take into consideration that said niece doesn’t like the things her cousins do and would really struggle with the environment due to her autism.

Says more about you if you think sister and OP are on the same level.

You had the same holiday as us last year In Italy visiting Pompeii and climbing mt Vesuvius, Amalfi coast, Capri etc. It’s hardly a boring holiday when it’s filled with history and culture. My children have grown up exploring places and tbh you couldn’t pay us to go on your sisters type of holiday but it’s each to their own and as long as each family enjoy their holiday it doesn’t matter how it’s done. You retaliated because your sister was rude about yours but I’d just suck it up and apologise and book yourself another action packed holiday.

Sounded to me like your sister was jealous and decided to say nasty things about your holiday. I don’t think you sounded snobby and I would do your type of holiday every time.

You weren't wrong and if your DS keeps banging on about it then you've hit a nerve 😆

I think you could have not snapped, but your sister was goading you. I think she was quite snobby tbh

Keep booking your fab holidays OP and your sister can go to Beni. You’re happy, and she can make out she’s happy, when really she’s pissed off. And don’t let your family pile on with her, set them straight.

Sounds like your sister was provoking you OP, is she a competitive type of person? Was she trying to compete with you over holidays? She should mind her own business, you weren't asking for her opinion.

Is DSis generally happy give it but not able to take it?

She had a bit of a bitchy dig and you dug back.

If she gets to speak her mind, so do you.

Does any of this matter? Sounds faintly ridiculous to me from both sides.

She thought she could deride and criticise your holiday and she got some dished back. Yes, the money element will have stung her but she did imply you were a selfish parent dragging a miserable child on a tedious holiday so that’s rude of her to begin with. So YANBU. .

Yeah I get that. To be honest I probably would've ended up hating a kids club as well! It's definitely not for every child.

Your sister started it by her rude comments about your holiday , she was rude & u lost the rag with her . She might be a bit jealous but don’t lose any sleep over this & try to rise above it , it’s not worth a family falling out over . People have different interests & we all enjoy different things , neither holiday is better than the other , it’s whatever u enjoy .

This!

And then the sister goes and squinnies to the rest of the family like a spilt child whose sister was mean to her?! Boo hoo!

There is obviously a back story, and your sister sounds hard work!

What do you mean by "standard AI resort"?

They're both as bad as each other. It doesn't matter that the sister goaded the OP, they both come out of it looking spiteful. The sister going running to other people tattle tailing was pathetic but that doesn't stop the OP's comment coming across as snobby. Both those things can be true at the same time.

If she wasn’t prepared for OP to clap back, she should have kept her gob shut. End of. OP is not unreasonable.

No idea why you think yours was better, life doesn’t have to be a competition all the time.

Ordinarily I'd say it was snobby, but your DSIS was pushing it. She started it by saying it looked boring.

WTF has it got to do with her. Stop enabling her opinionated behavior. Its none of her business what you do on holiday - you have not asked for her opinion. Why do feel that you have to answer to her. Why are families so nosey and bossy. Tell her to butt out.