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Original poster

I'm too boring for DH

504 replies

Wowserbowser88 · 06/02/2026 23:20

Not even sure where to start with this one

Dh has been off with me all week. Snappy, short answers to any questions and just not engaged at all.

He had a drink tonight and finally admitted that he thinks i'm too boring for him. Because I don't have many friends. Don't go out and when I do its usually with work friends.

He thinks I am a terrible friend because I don't have many so I must be.

I don't go to any clubs or activities etc and we don't go out at the weekend often.

Here's the thing.. we have 2 children (8 and 4.) Both work full time and up until a year ago he worked shifts (earlies/lates/nights) so I could never make plans as he was always on shift. Even now he often works shifts. tho less of them and has weeks where he is on call 24/7 so I can't do anything

He also goes to football most weekends all day on Saturday so i'm at home with kids and he may stay put in the pub after until late

He was away with work last week and said he sat in a hotel room just thinking how badly he'd messed up by marrying someone so boring

He seems to think people, even with young children are out socialising every weekend and we're not and the children will suffer because of it

OP posts:
IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 07/02/2026 08:10

JMSA · 07/02/2026 07:49

So many people baying for blood but we only have the OP’s spin on things.
She presumably has some agency in her life and is not a prisoner in her own home.
Did either of you organise a babysitter ever, so that you could go out together as a couple? Do you have friends come over?
Or is it just that you are happy in your rut, at home with the kids? And he’s the excuse you need not to broaden your horizons …
At least own it!

Read OPs updates...she has answered most of this before you decided she was a villain.

Inevergotthatfar · 07/02/2026 08:10

Your husband is horrible. A supportive man who was worried about you not having a life of your own would have approached this completely differently but he has just attacked you over it. Awful and selfish. Stick up for yourself with him OP.

Ophy83 · 07/02/2026 08:12

Why doesn't he invite some football mates and their wives round then? Or organise playdates for the kids, or for you all to meet up with one of the families from school so the kids can play and adults socialise? It isn't all on you and would be unusual for all socialising to take place separately

KimuraTan · 07/02/2026 08:14

Ponoka7 · 06/02/2026 23:36

He's had his head turned. The men leave their wives and then realise that the woman who likes a good night out, isn't going to play housewife, like you do. Stop examining yourself, this is on him and whoever he's been tempted by, or whoever his mate is shagging and he now thinks he's got more getting offered on a plate, than he has at home. He's a fucking rat. You've supported his working pattern at a cost to yourself. Your kids will suffer because you aren't out on the piss? Is he offering to babysit?

This - he’s met someone else. Keep a careful eye out for any signs of cheating. Put the cards on the table and ask him what’s going on, then tell him a divorce will cost him 50/50 (possibly more) and losing his family unit.

Namechangeforthis88 · 07/02/2026 08:14

Mine tried this on when DS was 4. Apparently he never went out doing stuff because I didn't so he felt he couldn't.

I took up various activities and he still had to be crow-barred out the house.

Fast forward 10 years, I have loads of friends, out doing fun stuff most evenings, regularly out drinking and dancing till the small hours and away for weekends.

DH has a couple of quiet hobbies.

It wasn't me that was the boring one. He wanted to imagine he would be a more interesting man without me.

DeepRubySwan · 07/02/2026 08:14

Does he usually talk to you like this?

Topseyt123 · 07/02/2026 08:15

He's a wanker. I'd tell him that I am very happy to be boring and if he doesn't like it he can bugger off.

Didimum · 07/02/2026 08:15

It’s The Script.

Strangesally20 · 07/02/2026 08:16

sorry OP, he’s a dick. Of course you’re absolutely right and people with young kids socialise less than those who don’t! My guess is that he doesn’t realise this as his kids have never inconvenienced him or his lifestyle as you do all the heavy lifting! If I was you I would sit him down and say you’ve thought about what he said and you agree that you have been caring for everyone else at the expense of yourself and you’ve decided that Sundays (or any other day that suits) will be your day for a new hobby, so if he makes sure he doesn’t plan anything for then as he will be looking after the kids. Go out all day on Sunday every week for a few weeks. He’ll be missing his “boring” wife in no time. Who knows maybe you will find a hobby that interests you and this will be the start of you prioritising yourself a bit more!

Newusername3kidss · 07/02/2026 08:21

Oh OP I’m absolutely raging for you!! He is a complete wanker. So basically since having kids his life hasn’t changed but what he can’t recognise is that yours has!! My husband said to me a couple of years ago - “why don’t you have any hobbies?” Like it was a choice. We have 3 kids dickhead and I’m fucking shattered. Huge argument, he apologised and never said it again. Now kids are bit older I definitely go out more but I reckon he still does more than me as he never stopped whereas I definitely had a period of not doing as much.

He’s definitely deflecting by saying you’re boring and I agree with possible affair scenarios as he’s basically laying the ground to make out it’s your fault. I’m so sorry - he’s a prick

daisychain01 · 07/02/2026 08:24

He was away with work last week and said he sat in a hotel room just thinking how badly he'd messed up by marrying someone so boring

oh the script, so damn predictable.

He has been miserable for years and can't take it any more
youve never really made him happy
he needed to run headlong into the arms of a woman who can make him feel less bored because of you, poor lamb
etc, etc, ad nauseam.

honestly OP read the writing on the wall, get those ducks in a row and decide when it's the right time to get shot of him. He's delusional and needs a reality check.

Laura95167 · 07/02/2026 08:25

You might want to tell him, that the reason youre "boring" is because hes selfish and youve facilitated it. Youve been boring so he wasnt bored. And if he isnt grateful for that hes right, he should go.

SpinandSing · 07/02/2026 08:27

Wow, that’s savage. What a git. Hate to say this but is there any chance he cheated on you while away with work? Sounds like he’s setting a story to make an exit where you take the blame. What did you say back to him? Please fight back and get some time for yourself. You need to get rid of this man and live your own life without him dragging you down.

Blueuggboots · 07/02/2026 08:27

What a fucking arsehole!!!

Stick0rTwist · 07/02/2026 08:28

As a woman who married someone ‘boring’ I have had the same realization as your husband…

I’d take it as a kick up the bum to find some hobbies and start planning fun things for you and your family now the kids are bigger and his shift pattern makes it easier. Book a regular babysitter and try to be a bit more spontaneous - only if he is reciprocating though.

Life is short and it’s really draining to be the only one in the relationship who wants to enjoy life.

Beatriz85 · 07/02/2026 08:30

Babes, its divorce time. And i don't say this lightly.
Sorry but he might already have someone less boring (aka childless) in the wings

Blueuggboots · 07/02/2026 08:30

I agree with PP. tell him you’ve got a new hobby and you’re going out all day on whatever day works best for you. And do it!!!! Leave him to look after the kids.

SaySomethingMan · 07/02/2026 08:31

Wow he sounds very mean! What’s he projecting on you though? 🤔

Blueuggboots · 07/02/2026 08:31

(Even better, tell him it’s on a Saturday so he’ll have to do every other week for HIS hobby from now on??!)

Moulez · 07/02/2026 08:33

Of course he's got another woman. Or at least one in mind.

Classic script.

Beatriz85 · 07/02/2026 08:33

Stick0rTwist · 07/02/2026 08:28

As a woman who married someone ‘boring’ I have had the same realization as your husband…

I’d take it as a kick up the bum to find some hobbies and start planning fun things for you and your family now the kids are bigger and his shift pattern makes it easier. Book a regular babysitter and try to be a bit more spontaneous - only if he is reciprocating though.

Life is short and it’s really draining to be the only one in the relationship who wants to enjoy life.

Sod that, maybe he can stop going out with his mates so much and can stay home with kids so that the OP can have her own hobbies (running club, tennis, pole dancing or whatever)

Moulez · 07/02/2026 08:33

Beatriz85 · 07/02/2026 08:30

Babes, its divorce time. And i don't say this lightly.
Sorry but he might already have someone less boring (aka childless) in the wings

Exactly.

Moulez · 07/02/2026 08:33

Also. Kids and jobs don't stop you living. Come on!

liamharha · 07/02/2026 08:33

Wowserbowser88 · 06/02/2026 23:20

Not even sure where to start with this one

Dh has been off with me all week. Snappy, short answers to any questions and just not engaged at all.

He had a drink tonight and finally admitted that he thinks i'm too boring for him. Because I don't have many friends. Don't go out and when I do its usually with work friends.

He thinks I am a terrible friend because I don't have many so I must be.

I don't go to any clubs or activities etc and we don't go out at the weekend often.

Here's the thing.. we have 2 children (8 and 4.) Both work full time and up until a year ago he worked shifts (earlies/lates/nights) so I could never make plans as he was always on shift. Even now he often works shifts. tho less of them and has weeks where he is on call 24/7 so I can't do anything

He also goes to football most weekends all day on Saturday so i'm at home with kids and he may stay put in the pub after until late

He was away with work last week and said he sat in a hotel room just thinking how badly he'd messed up by marrying someone so boring

He seems to think people, even with young children are out socialising every weekend and we're not and the children will suffer because of it

Get rid of this shithead ,,tell him you've took his advice and took a good look at yourself and decided your life would be less boring without a selfish gob shite like him .

MaggieBsBoat · 07/02/2026 08:34

The pps have it.

My ex was like this, literally said the same things, did the same football playing, drinking stuff while I stayed with our then young sons.
I made the mistake of staying with him for 21 years. Don’t be me.

Additionally, I’m pretty sure he’s had his head turned by some exciting other woman. Even if he hasn’t done anything, he’s thinking it and regretting his choices. Time to regret yours and get out.