6 year old doesn't want to move- but it might be for the best?

[neeedingsomesunshine]

Me and DH are thinking of moving to my family's home country (to help with my mum who's a bit poorly, and generally because we would like to be nearer them, not really because we want to. We love it where we are right now).

It's on paper a lovely country, very outdoorsey, better weather, my son spends lots of time there. We brought up the idea of moving there permanently (at the moment we spend about 3 months a year there- long story, I can make it work with work). However he hated the idea- he made it clear that he likes to visit but absolutely doesn't want to move there. He loves his school and has many friends so I do feel terrible taking him away from this. However, my question is - how much do children this age actually understand this? Is it really possible he's so settled already that he doesn't want to leave? Any experiences with this?

AIBU- stay for your son's sake
YANBU- move now

@PivotPivotmakingmargaritas thank you, you are exactly right!

“He’s 6, he doesn’t get an opinion”

Actually, he does have an opinion, and his feelings are real and valid. He doesn’t understand the reasons, he won’t be able to process the pros & cons, but his feelings are still worth exploring and acknowledging.

This ‘just tell him it’s happening’ attitude is really dictatorial and old fashioned. We know better now. This kind of parenting makes children feel powerless and insecure. Talk to him, explain that you feel it’s a good move, acknowledge his reasons for not wanting to go, but be gentle and supportive of his feelings. Remind him that you can stay in touch with his friends here, visits and holidays are still an option, and no move is truly permanent, and if it turns out not to be a good idea you can always come back.