Being subjected to SM assault over a wallpaper

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I'm writing this with total incredulity.

A week or so ago I got invited to a friend-of-a-friend's house. The lady in question is clearly a Mrs Hinch type, but each to their own. I did notice wallpaper being unsealed around the cooker/sink area and POLITELY inquired about it. My DD was prem, with heavy lung issues, and one of the things nurses warned me about was wallpaper in the kitchen as a potential fungus/mould and toxin source. I didn't point this out, of course, just gently enquired if she plans to seal it.

She got a bit weird with me, apparently she wipes down her walls regularly, and don't I? Erm, that would make it worse with wallpaper, but I just smiled and nodded.

Now our mutual friend pointed out the absolute barrage of slander on SM. Apparently I was rude (wasn't, just lightly enquired about a sealant?) and "minging" for not cleaning my home properly (my home is kept clean to a post-NICU standard, IYKYK).

Safe to say, that person will be avoided at any cost in the future, but was I unreasonable?

Who has wallpaper by a cooker/sink area?
Also, common sense would tell me due to proximity to the sink it would be likely to peel.
Who goes on SM about things like this?
I've totally bought into this ridiculousness by replying!

What a weird question to ask. This was always going to come across as rude.

I agree

You’ve offended her. It’s not appropriate to ask people about perceived defects in their home when you’ve just been invited in.

what did she put on sm?

This

But she didn't need to react in the way she did

Had to google "Mrs Hinch".

It was a rude question OP however politely you think you might have framed it.

You were rude.

She overreacted.

Why did you need to ask?
Of course such a question would come across as judgemental.

How did you frame it op? How old
is your daughter now? And how often will she be in this lady’s kitchen?

This sums it up.

What an awful person. What business of yours is it? Criticising someone’s house when they haven’t asked for your advice is rude, so there is no way you could have come across any other way. Maybe invite people to yours in future so they can judge yours. Just because your baby was in nicu that doesn’t make you more superior.

I didn't point this out, of course, just gently enquired if she plans to seal it.

What the fuck has this got to do with you?!

There was no way to politely ask that question - it can only be taken as criticism.

You are both crazy. It is extremely rude to point out defects in someone’s house (unless you are close family) but then again her reaction is also mad.

in her situation I would have just smiled through gritted teeth and put an an end to the visit as soon as politely possible.

You were rude and she’s unhin(ch)ed

I did notice wallpaper being unsealed around the cooker/sink area and POLITELY inquired about it.

It's an odd design decision one not usually made for obvious reasons- but very rude to point it out and suggest it was a health issue (even if it is).

I don't think it right she then went on SM and says bad things - but clearly she was extremely offended by your comments.

So you were rude. And she cried about it on social media?

I don't understand the personality types involved here. You both sound a bit self obsessed and unhinged?

(hopefully I misread the OP. I'm hoping people aren't really like this?) 😂

Pointing out unsealed wallpaper and enquiring what she plans to do about it was very rude OP.
Especially as she’s just a friend of a friend.

No wonder she got ‘weird’ with you.

There was no need to put it all up on SM of course, but some people seem to need to give a running commentary on their lives.
Just ignore I think. She’s making herself look bad there really.

You were weird asking.

She’s fucking batshit and has too much time on her hands.

Never comment on anyone’s decor in a way that could be seen as negative. If you have to comment (someone’s new home or decor), always say it looks fantastic.

There was no need to pass any comment in that situation. Her walls could be covered in mould and it would be none of your concern.

She was giving the tour of the kitchen. Voluntarily. Insisted on it. She pointed out the wallpaper. I didn't go nosing into her kitchen. I looked at it out of courtesy and said (literally): did they not recommend sealing the wallpaper around wet areas?" That was it.

Why did you feel the need to say it?

Well, I thought it was a logical question? But ok.

When you say she put a barrage of slander on social media, what did she say? Did she name you and put it on Facebook for all to see or did she just message the friend (who is a bit of a shit stirrer to tell you about it btw).

I think you were unreasonable to ask the question.

No, it’s rude.

Weird you don’t see this. Maybe this is where you have trouble.

You were supposed to say it was lovely OP. Not be critical. She’s obviously proud of her home if she’s giving a tour.
It was a social faux-pas on your part. You would need to be much closer to her before coming out with comments like that!

She shouldn’t be slagging you off on SM though.