Being subjected to SM assault over a wallpaper

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I'm writing this with total incredulity.

A week or so ago I got invited to a friend-of-a-friend's house. The lady in question is clearly a Mrs Hinch type, but each to their own. I did notice wallpaper being unsealed around the cooker/sink area and POLITELY inquired about it. My DD was prem, with heavy lung issues, and one of the things nurses warned me about was wallpaper in the kitchen as a potential fungus/mould and toxin source. I didn't point this out, of course, just gently enquired if she plans to seal it.

She got a bit weird with me, apparently she wipes down her walls regularly, and don't I? Erm, that would make it worse with wallpaper, but I just smiled and nodded.

Now our mutual friend pointed out the absolute barrage of slander on SM. Apparently I was rude (wasn't, just lightly enquired about a sealant?) and "minging" for not cleaning my home properly (my home is kept clean to a post-NICU standard, IYKYK).

Safe to say, that person will be avoided at any cost in the future, but was I unreasonable?

You were very rude.

OK, I accept it. Personally, I'd welcome a question that saves me a health scare over coming across as polite, but apparently it's not the done thing.

Yes, that was rude of you.

Why did you feel the need to say or do anything beyond politely nodding?

It's like when you go into someone's home and they apologise for the mess, you don't go asking if they thought about getting a cleaner in.

Just block anyone harassing you on SM, and I don't think you need to avoid this woman irl, it sounds like she will be avoiding you anyway.

You were rude in what you did. Your friend was rude for posting about it on social media.

Win/win for you both.

Yeah who talks about wallpaper and sealant when they go to a strangers house? Unless you're an insurance adjuster of something?

You clearly did it to make her feel inadequate as you look down on the fact she sees herself as a 'Mrs Hinch' but has a tiny imperfection in a few centimetres of her home?! You sound jealous.

But their SM rant was also ridiculous. Both of you were U.

To be honest, if someone asked me this sort of question I'd shrug it off and think they were just a bit socially awkward. If she's ultra houseproud though it's obviously hit a raw nerve. She sounds like a lot of drama.

I assure you I did not do it to make anyone feel inadequate. I saw a potential problem and, admittedly, blurted it out before thinking twice. Weird to suggest it.

This is one of those social things. When someone gives you a tour, you are supposed to express suitable admiration and find at least one thing to specifically compliment. Even if the place is hideous.

Ooh, lovely, looks nice, oh what a lovely wall mounted spoon rack you have there, such a nice wood.

You aren't supposed to ask if they plan to finish something off or say anything that can come across as criticism.

I'm writing this with total incredulity

Oh, believe me, that's also how I'm reading this...

You'd only just met her and you pointed out her kitchen was defective?
And 'assault'???
Sheesh.

God this is so rude, OP. A friend of mine made a similar comment about our front door after I sent a pic of it with plastic sheeting round it to protect it from render applied round it. She responded “Was it like that when you moved in?”

I was on my last nerve having just seen a huge renovation project through to completion. She got short shrift from me, believe me.

It is rude and totally unnecessary. I’m always amazed people cannot understand this.

But so what if her house is full of mould?

It’s none of your business.

Well, when you're shown online posts, visible to unlimited number of people, using profanities to describe your housekeeping (not that she was ever in my house), how would you describe it, apart from assault?

Are you not British? Surely everyone knows this is incredibly rude?!

“Health scare” ??

Are you on (wallpaper) glue?

Her reaction was completely unhinged but your question would have come across as critical, even if you meant it well. I think your nicu experience may have given you some anxiety (I had twins in nicu so know how it can make you feel), but not everyone needs to live to that standard of hygiene to be safe and healthy.

Does she have sick children? The only reason I could imagine you would point it out is if it would have an immediate and direct effect on a sick child!

https://www.news-medical.net/news/20170625/Fungal-toxins-from-wallpaper-source-of-illness-says-new-research.aspx?fbclid=IwdGRjcAPwEJRjbGNrA_AQgmV4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHiiftMxMgnUdpOYz_RokYUbngFu-SDQ3rT6mPabFtElZjlfJlw5tVRy8N8_o_aem_W7lEDZ6oLDHTz45faduN3w

Good Morning Original Commenter
From everything I've seen in your post, you were just enquiring out of love for Your Precious Child & concerned about the negative health affects if some things aren't aware
It seems your friend of a friend's overreacted because she took offence & didn't know the underlying reason why you said what you said?
Maybe it would help her empathetically comprehend if you brought her some enlightenments & communicated to her, why you mentioned what you mentioned?
Wishing you all the utmost very best

this is a story of two crazy people

A lie, slander, upsetting comments, untrue, accusations.... not assault.

Semantics

Someone: “This is the wallpaper, we love it”
Other person: “it’s very nice”.

Are you British?

You were rude. You need to think before you speak. It is not a good move to comment negatively on a relative stranger's home however well meaning.

However their reaction is crazy. They are massively over- reacting. Given her reaction to this matter I would guess she will soon have someone or something else to rant about and you will be forgotten. I am sure the people who follow her know what she is like and does not take much notice.

Would it make any difference to know the answer?

oh bless you. This is the sort of thing a neuro diverse person would say.

maybe learn from this. It was not an emotionally intelligent comment on your part. But you didn’t mean to offend.