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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband didn’t celebrate my ‘win’

237 replies

Thatpunkjumper · 02/02/2026 22:48

Working on a high level project for many months was waiting to find out if it had been funded and approved - it was a long shot but hard work put in by the team I led and it got approved on Friday and today we found out we had additional funding allocated based on the strength of out proposal. I worked so hard on this and this win was beyond my wildest dreams professionally- I had numerous msg from family and friends wishing me well and asking how I’d got on nothing from husband and when I came home and told him and said excitedly to the kids hopefully this will mean more money for mummy which I can spend on you he said it won’t be as much as xxx’s dad makes (nb I’m on 60k a year xxs’s is on 200 k plus so I know I’m small fry but for me I’m over what I thought I’d be earning) I felt diminished I know I’m not that high level but for me I’m doing better than I ever expected thus is a big win and was so non interested (fine it’s my work probably boring to every one else) but for the time effort I would have celebrated him

OP posts:
Northerngirl821 · 02/02/2026 22:49

Have you explained to him how you feel?

44PumpLane · 02/02/2026 22:52

Congratulations @Thatpunkjumper ! It sounds like a real achievement and the culmination of a lot of hard work, I hope you are really proud of yourself.

As @Northerngirl821 says, I'd tell him how you feel, it's very "small man" energy of him to try and diminish your victory like that, it takes nothing to bolster and celebrate the person you love when they have a win.

TappyGilmore · 02/02/2026 22:53

YANBU. I was getting ready to say that a lack
of celebration probably just means that he doesn’t realise what a big deal it is, but the comment about not as much as xxxx’s dad makes is just low and pathetic.

Bikergran · 02/02/2026 22:53

Mean minded, selfish, jealous toad.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 02/02/2026 22:54

He's threatened by your success.

Brewtiful · 02/02/2026 22:56

Well that comment shows exactly what kind of person he is. Honestly I'm not sure I'd be able to get over my husband making such a comment, especially not in front of the kids.

BlackCatDiscoClub · 02/02/2026 22:56

Ooh what a nasty thing to say. It shows he wasn't absent mindededly forgetting the importance of it, that comment was calculated to cut you down to size. Dick. Massive congratulations OP, you smashed it and obviously led yoyr team brilliantly! You and your DCs deserve any rewards coming from that. He doesn't!

2old4thispoo · 02/02/2026 22:56

Congratulations and well done 👏 🎉

Is this unusual behaviour by your DH?

Disturbia81 · 02/02/2026 22:58

Sorry but there is no reasonable explanation for this. He’s a cunt.

Thatpunkjumper · 02/02/2026 22:58

it been massively impactful if I’m honest I’ve not been able to speak to him directly since as I’m just so disappointed in him together 10 years I’ve always been his biggest champion

OP posts:
OSTMusTisNT · 02/02/2026 22:59

Your DH has small penis syndrome.

justanothermummma · 02/02/2026 23:01

Well done! You should be so proud of your hard work. I’m so sorry he didn’t celebrate the way he should have. You’ve done amazingly! X

Thatpunkjumper · 02/02/2026 23:01

Cut me down to size - that’s what. Hurts the most it was an absolute fuck you in front of our kids. This might well be my final straw it really might I’m in tears he’s ruined the whole weekend and today’s news

OP posts:
AccidentalPrawnYouFool · 02/02/2026 23:03

Who is xx’s dad is he referring to himself in the third person, so he’s on 200K a year? Or is this someone else you know that’s on 200K a year?
either way he’s a cunt obviously.
but talking about what someone else earns, to the kids no less, gives me the massive ick!

AccidentalPrawnYouFool · 02/02/2026 23:03

Ps congratulations on your win! You should be proud of yourself. You don’t need his praise. Fuck him.

Ialwaysthoughtitwasadojo · 02/02/2026 23:07

That’s not as much as I make?! What a prick, and an immature one at that. Surprised he makes £200k.

Take it from me, once they stop celebrating your success it’s all down hill from there.

Thatpunkjumper · 02/02/2026 23:07

Not him a dad from school on 200k a year who we hardly know - our son is friends with xxx’s dad so he’s our ‘rich’ point of reference my husband is on 50k ish he’s always encouraging me to earn more ‘you should be earning more’ so it makes no sense when I’m doing well he’s not happy ?!

OP posts:
Crispynoodle · 02/02/2026 23:07

Yup he feels threatened by your success I had one of those once! Until I divorced him. What does he do for work? What’s his annual salary?

Thatpunkjumper · 02/02/2026 23:08

AccidentalPrawnYouFool · 02/02/2026 23:03

Ps congratulations on your win! You should be proud of yourself. You don’t need his praise. Fuck him.

Thank you I am and massively proud of the team against all odds we did it 🙌

OP posts:
Thatpunkjumper · 02/02/2026 23:10

Crispynoodle · 02/02/2026 23:07

Yup he feels threatened by your success I had one of those once! Until I divorced him. What does he do for work? What’s his annual salary?

Not much less than me he’s 44-50k and we NEED every penny so why he’s not happy at the likely additional money is beyond my comprehension

OP posts:
MsMarple · 02/02/2026 23:13

He’s threatened that you out earn him now and you are on the way up, so he makes himself feel better by trying to put you down. Utterly horrible!

AccidentalPrawnYouFool · 02/02/2026 23:14

Thatpunkjumper · 02/02/2026 23:07

Not him a dad from school on 200k a year who we hardly know - our son is friends with xxx’s dad so he’s our ‘rich’ point of reference my husband is on 50k ish he’s always encouraging me to earn more ‘you should be earning more’ so it makes no sense when I’m doing well he’s not happy ?!

Ewww grim. That’s such a weird thing for him to say as well as it being an obvious dig at you x

ReadingSoManyThreads · 02/02/2026 23:14

Thatpunkjumper · 02/02/2026 23:07

Not him a dad from school on 200k a year who we hardly know - our son is friends with xxx’s dad so he’s our ‘rich’ point of reference my husband is on 50k ish he’s always encouraging me to earn more ‘you should be earning more’ so it makes no sense when I’m doing well he’s not happy ?!

Because telling you "you should be earning more" was just a stick to beat you with. Now that you actually will be, his ego can't take it, so he's just beat you again with the xxx's Dad's £200K jibe.

He's cruel.

What else does he do/say to make you feel like this is the last straw?

AccidentalPrawnYouFool · 02/02/2026 23:15

Thatpunkjumper · 02/02/2026 23:10

Not much less than me he’s 44-50k and we NEED every penny so why he’s not happy at the likely additional money is beyond my comprehension

yep he’s jealous of you out-earning him. And jealous of xx’s dad too.
(I’ve no idea how much my friends earn let alone my kids friends parents!)

crazeekat · 02/02/2026 23:20

Jealousy. He is seething that u have made an huge accomplishment and you not relying on him. He sounds a bit pathetic actually. Be proud of yourself, u don’t need anyone else to do it for you.