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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do friends of rich people have no shame?

239 replies

NotDarkGothicMama · 01/02/2026 21:43

Reading about the Epstein files, the first thing that struck me was the awful photo of Andrew kneeling over what looks like a very young woman, looking extremely pervy.

The second thing was the emails from people like Fergie and Peter Madelson's husband asking for money. "I need 20 grand for rent, today." "I need 10 grand for an osteopath course." Have they no shame whatsoever? Surely if you're friends with a rich person, you're very careful not to mention financial needs so they don't think you're only after their cash? Let alone actually ask for handouts!

OP posts:
ShamedBySiri · 01/02/2026 23:43

Fingalscave · 01/02/2026 22:57

Many years ago, my aunt was a friend and neighbour of one of Mandelson's relatives. The relative told my aunt he was fed up of Mandelson asking for loans. He wanted to borrow enough for a deposit for a house. He's obviously used to begging.

How extraordinary that he kept on asking? Not taking No for an answer first time.

Manxexile · 01/02/2026 23:45

Wafflesandcrepes · 01/02/2026 22:52

So pissed off with Labour right now. Oh so moralistic. Oh so judgey. But any occasion to get their grabby, grubby little hands on someone else’s money and they’re right in there. They disgust me. (I am - was - a Labour voter)

Wasn't Mandelson the architect of New Labour?

😆

BlackCatDiscoClub · 01/02/2026 23:47

Great points from PP. I think the fact they felt comfortable asking for money speaks to how they knew what he was up to, and that he needed their aura to continue his game. All transactional. Also, Fergie and Andrew would never think their daughters were at risk! They were aristos, not the poor disposable girls Epstein was trafficking. It wouldn't cross their minds that their daughters were in the same group. And it wouldn't have crossed Epsteins mind either. He dehumanised the women he trafficked, they all did.

Sophomore · 01/02/2026 23:47

MsSmartShoes · 01/02/2026 22:47

Spot on - these are very transactional relationships.no one worries about losing friends because of the moral depravity, complicity in exploiting others. These are the “devils darlings” and capitalism made it possible.

If you read about Andrew and Fergie, their entire lives have been based on persuading dodgy rich people to give them money. It’s not about being friends of rich people- it’s about being a venal little toad.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 01/02/2026 23:50

Cheeky fucker syndrome exists in all society's. I'd imagine that it is all part of being spoilt rotten inside and out.
High society disgusting entitlement. I don't believe that it is normal behaviour for the majority of rich people.
The files are sickening.

NotDarkGothicMama · 01/02/2026 23:53

LadyGAgain · 01/02/2026 23:24

I voted YABU because these people are despicable and vile, and you’re focusing on the wrong thing.

Oh, I agree. This was one aspect that struck me as particularly odd and completely different to what I think of as normal behaviour. Same as if I saw one of the royals in Waitrose: pretend you hadn't noticed them and leave them be, rather than bowing and scraping and gushing all over them.

Which people are despicable and vile? As far as I can see, the only Epstein associates to have faced any consequences have been Maxwell, Andrew, Fergie and Mandelson. Andrew seems to be the one daft enough to be on the front pages. A handy distraction. Where's everyone else?! Why does no one remember anything?

OP posts:
GarlicBound · 01/02/2026 23:56

MsSmartShoes · 01/02/2026 22:47

Spot on - these are very transactional relationships.no one worries about losing friends because of the moral depravity, complicity in exploiting others. These are the “devils darlings” and capitalism made it possible.

I hardly think feudalism, communism or any other economic system is free of graft. There's always someone with 'more' and someone trying to get some of it.

ShamedBySiri · 01/02/2026 23:58

I also find the tone of some of the emails bizarre - all “you’re my best friend ever” “what a super duper chap you are (even though you’ve just been released from prison for unspeakable behaviour”
Who writes shit like that to friends? It’s vomit inducing.

rainingsnoring · 02/02/2026 00:02

AngelinaFibres · 01/02/2026 22:37

It's a trade off. Maxwell grew up with money and status. Then her father died in dodgy circumstances and left them all with no money. So she attached herself to JE. He had huge amounts of money but he wanted the trips to the Royal enclosure at Ascot and she knew/ had been to school with the right people. He wanted the upper class 'shine' and she wanted private jets and houses and designer clothes. Andrew and Fergie had the Royal connections that made JE respectable but everyone knows that British Royals below the heir and the spare are far poorer than they'd like to be but can't earn their money in conventional ways ( thick, unqualified, vulgar to work like us common folk) so they cultivate rich people in exchange for photos and favours and contacts. If those rich people have houses with multiple hidden cameras in then they're trapped.JE lends money to Andrew in exchange for a trip to Balmoral, an invitation to Buckingham palace. He gets what he wants and AMW maintains his lifestyle. When you're in that deep asking for money is probably the least vulgar thing you've ever done.

Very well put.
They aren't friends. They are mutually beneficial contacts. Epstein was a master at what he did. He drew in so many of the rich and powerful to his vile circle.
You can't even attempt to compare them to normal friendships @NotDarkGothicMama

Muffinmam · 02/02/2026 00:02

They are evil.

The Police should reopen the case of the murdered Latvian woman whose body was found near Andrew Mountbatten’s estate.

There are people who knew what Andrew was up to and have been covering for him for years.

Robogob · 02/02/2026 00:03

All these emails are so fucking … bizarre! Could there be some kind of code going on? I mean, osteopathy?

JasonTindallsTan · 02/02/2026 00:04

JuliettaCaeser · 01/02/2026 21:51

God we find the opposite- Dds best friend is from a seriously rich international family we end up spending more to be reciprocal!.

We do that as well, have a very wealthy family member and whenever we visit them we spend a fortune to try and not appear as freeloaders.

Robogob · 02/02/2026 00:05

Muffinmam · 02/02/2026 00:02

They are evil.

The Police should reopen the case of the murdered Latvian woman whose body was found near Andrew Mountbatten’s estate.

There are people who knew what Andrew was up to and have been covering for him for years.

I’ve not heard about this. Can you link to info? Thank u.

HRTQueen · 02/02/2026 00:07

lazybone1 · 01/02/2026 21:52

entitled people have no shame

^^ this

Sostewedover · 02/02/2026 00:13

These requests for cash were bribe payments for Mandy's influence , surely. As well as fergies requests for cash, the same.

Wildernesssetting · 02/02/2026 00:15

AbbaDabbaDooh · 01/02/2026 21:58

The amount of amnesia that seems to be affecting the people involved - insane.

That’s what I can’t get my head around.

Imagine forgetting someone had given you 75k!

if you choose to believe they actually ‘forgot’ , then it means that asking people for cash must be a regular occurrence!

Wildernesssetting · 02/02/2026 00:28

Gahr · 01/02/2026 22:33

This is a bizarre way of looking at the issue. You're judging them for cadging when the real issue was that they were friends with a paedophile!

Oh I think we’re all judging the being friends with a paedophile! and worse, knowing what he was doing and being complicit. No doubt that’s the main story, but it doesn’t mean the smaller details aren’t interesting.

the asking for money is one of those odd details that hints at why Epstein was able to get away with it.

OP asking questions about these seemingly ‘small’ things can actually provoke interesting responses and a deeper understanding of the psychology of this involved

sittingonabeach · 02/02/2026 00:40

I want to know where are all the other people, why just Andrew, Fergie and Mandelson?

And that photo of Andrew kneeling down, I wouldn’t have recognised him and it does slightly look as if he is checking on someone passed out on the floor. Not saying he is innocent but I want them to concentrate on other people too

Fullmoan · 02/02/2026 00:43

Wildernesssetting · 02/02/2026 00:15

That’s what I can’t get my head around.

Imagine forgetting someone had given you 75k!

if you choose to believe they actually ‘forgot’ , then it means that asking people for cash must be a regular occurrence!

Quite!

rainandshine38 · 02/02/2026 00:43

@Wafflesandcrepesyou think Farage isn’t doing exactly the same with Trump and god knows who else? It’s not the party it’s the little perverted men !

LucyLoo1972 · 02/02/2026 00:51

TraitorsLantern · 01/02/2026 22:31

I found the Mandelson’s now husband one odd. How did Mandelson not have £10k?

I thought exactly the same. my husabnd had a lot of money and didnt let me use small sums when needed but Mandelson surely had 10K if my teacher husband has £80 K stashed away

miss79guided · 02/02/2026 01:52

lazybone1 · 01/02/2026 21:52

entitled people have no shame

anybody CAN be entitled people - it is easy to be, entitled
If that IS the persona you want to create for yourself - entitled

LivingTheDreamish · 02/02/2026 01:56

Well the whole set-up was completely repulsive. The repulsive rich friends leeching off the repulsive peodaphile was just one aspect of it. I imagine the King is feeling relieved he acted when he did with respect to Andrew.

canuckup · 02/02/2026 01:59

No shame. Because they're not accountable.

And the plebs still line up to meet them. Shame on the stupid plebs.

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 02/02/2026 03:48

peanutbuttertoasty · 01/02/2026 22:20

They are surely code words being used for something nefarious?

Do you 'do' Duolingo by any chance?!!