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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really disturbed by response to this horrible incident

233 replies

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:22

Recently I was at Kings Cross. On my way to meet a friend. When this middle aged guy saw me and said something along the lines of “oh my god how beautiful, her face”. The two younger guys who he was with had to physically restrain him ans he was trying to walk in my direction. And they honestly were struggling. They were maybe 10 metres away from me but I was genuinely afraid. I’m 27 and incredibly active but only 5 ft 3. I was surrounded by people but worried I was going to be groped. Plus I really don’t like drawing any attention whatsoever if I can help it. Naturally VERY shy.

Ive recounted this incident to three people (all women of varying ages) and they’ve all mentioned the part about me being called beautiful. Like it’s a compliment. Ie that should be the takeaway. The man was physically intimidating to me! I was genuinely scared I was going to be attacked.

I just find this response very very depressing. Would the women around you not express sympathy if you were to tell them of a similar encounter?

OP posts:
FluffMagnet · 31/01/2026 15:24

Did you alert the police?

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 31/01/2026 15:25

Well the women around me would be supportive, but clearly the women around you are a bit dim and "pick me". You probably need better friends. It must have been quite alarming for you especially since the mans friends had to hold him back (was he lunging at you, or something?). Hope you're ok. Do something nice for yourself and try not to dwell on thus.

Original poster
Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:25

FluffMagnet · 31/01/2026 15:24

Did you alert the police?

No I legged it!

OP posts:
Bonkers1966 · 31/01/2026 15:25

It sounds horrible. Welcome to earth.

SliceofTosst · 31/01/2026 15:26

That's horrible and I don't know any man I know would find it acceptable in any way, let alone women. Are you supposed to be grateful for a comment that's precedes harassment?

Original poster
Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:26

CarefullyCuratedFurniture · 31/01/2026 15:25

Well the women around me would be supportive, but clearly the women around you are a bit dim and "pick me". You probably need better friends. It must have been quite alarming for you especially since the mans friends had to hold him back (was he lunging at you, or something?). Hope you're ok. Do something nice for yourself and try not to dwell on thus.

Not lunging but trying to walk to me. He was maybe 50 and stout. Very strong. The two guys holding him back were much leaner. I was very worried I was going to be groped.

OP posts:
Mariocatgran · 31/01/2026 15:28

@Xoxka hi being pn your own I would be scared aswell but it is a compliment but obviously he should have kept it himself

Wowsersbrowsers · 31/01/2026 15:29

Report to British transport police if you mean the station. What a weirdo (him, not you)

Original poster
Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:30

Mariocatgran · 31/01/2026 15:28

@Xoxka hi being pn your own I would be scared aswell but it is a compliment but obviously he should have kept it himself

The fact something positive was said about my appearance is extremely beside the point in my opinion. The physical threatening should be the only thing commented on

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 31/01/2026 15:32

My daughter attracts a lot of male attention and also lives in London and travels a lot. She has the British transport police text number on her phone and she reports everything. They are very efficient. She once had a bloke air drop a picture of his penis to her on a train. The police were waiting for him when it arrived at Kings X. I get why you ran, I would have too, but it’s always best to report, this could be a pattern of behaviour and it helps build a picture. I hope you’re ok.

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

IDontHateRainbows · 31/01/2026 15:35

TheFormidableMrsC · 31/01/2026 15:32

My daughter attracts a lot of male attention and also lives in London and travels a lot. She has the British transport police text number on her phone and she reports everything. They are very efficient. She once had a bloke air drop a picture of his penis to her on a train. The police were waiting for him when it arrived at Kings X. I get why you ran, I would have too, but it’s always best to report, this could be a pattern of behaviour and it helps build a picture. I hope you’re ok.

What's air drop?

Original poster
Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:37

TheFormidableMrsC · 31/01/2026 15:32

My daughter attracts a lot of male attention and also lives in London and travels a lot. She has the British transport police text number on her phone and she reports everything. They are very efficient. She once had a bloke air drop a picture of his penis to her on a train. The police were waiting for him when it arrived at Kings X. I get why you ran, I would have too, but it’s always best to report, this could be a pattern of behaviour and it helps build a picture. I hope you’re ok.

it didn’t even cross my mind to report tbh! Thinking I should’ve now.

sadly unwanted male attention/ cat calling is very normal in London.

OP posts:
Original poster
Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:37

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

No I didn’t get that impression. But obviously can’t be sure.

OP posts:
Bikergran · 31/01/2026 15:39

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

This was my thought immediately, or that he was drunk.

x2boys · 31/01/2026 15:39

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

This was my first thought or mental illness?

EmeraldRoulette · 31/01/2026 15:40

Sorry this happened to you
That is really scary

was he drunk? Not that that's an excuse. I'm just curious. Or on drugs. These days it could be anything really.

If you can face reporting it, that's the thing to do.

MustardGlass · 31/01/2026 15:41

Tbh it sounds like he had an intellectual disability and he needs 2 carers when in the public.

Cappie73 · 31/01/2026 15:41

billandtedsexcellentadventure · 31/01/2026 15:34

Was it someone with a learning disability? Were they his carers?

That was exactly my thought when she mentioned the two younger guys with him, hence voting as YABU. I appreciate it may have scared the OP but some of the wording they have used is dramatic.

Original poster
Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:43

I hate to say it but he was most likely from a country where men and women probably do not mix freely.

I got the impression the two guys were family members.

i really didn’t want to share that detail as I am definitely not trying to cause division

OP posts:
Cappie73 · 31/01/2026 15:43

TheFormidableMrsC · 31/01/2026 15:32

My daughter attracts a lot of male attention and also lives in London and travels a lot. She has the British transport police text number on her phone and she reports everything. They are very efficient. She once had a bloke air drop a picture of his penis to her on a train. The police were waiting for him when it arrived at Kings X. I get why you ran, I would have too, but it’s always best to report, this could be a pattern of behaviour and it helps build a picture. I hope you’re ok.

Who leaves AirDrop on anyway? 🤷🏻‍♀️. I’m not victim blaming, switch it off.

Mrsblobby88 · 31/01/2026 15:44

Bloody hell- the people out there are saying this is a compliment need to gives their heads a wobble. Who would be complimented by this freak of a man?!!

hope you are ok OP xx

Sunshineandoranges · 31/01/2026 15:44

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:30

The fact something positive was said about my appearance is extremely beside the point in my opinion. The physical threatening should be the only thing commented on

Show quote history

Not always a compliment. Some men have been engaginn in conversation like you are so lovely i had to talk to you while filming women in public places then uploading the pictures online. There was a news item recently. Some of the men are wearing the glasses which are fitted with invisible cameras so the women dont know they are being filmed. The women then get subjected to online sexual comments and abuse. Definitely not acceptable.

Tigerbalmshark · 31/01/2026 15:45

Xoxka · 31/01/2026 15:43

I hate to say it but he was most likely from a country where men and women probably do not mix freely.

I got the impression the two guys were family members.

i really didn’t want to share that detail as I am definitely not trying to cause division

Edited

But then he probably wouldn’t have said it in English?

Anyway, no YANBU, and you should report it (even if it was a day or two ago - they will have CCTV)

Warmlight1 · 31/01/2026 15:45

Wondered was he drunk or high and that's why the friends stopped him. Because otherwise his friends shouldn't have reason to do that and usually a stranger wouldn't make that king of comment and advance on you. . Does sound unnerving.