I squirted my hungover husband in the face with water

[Hormonallyblessed]

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

That’s not ok OP.

Being pregnant does not excuse you for being abusive.

Why would you think it was a good idea for someone who you knew was drunk to be in charge of kids in the middle of the night?

At 6am he would have also likely still been drunk and there’s no way I’d want him in charge of the kids.

The fact you thought it was ok to squirt water at him is disturbing.
I hope the kids didn’t see this.

YABVU

Wow what a shit show. And bringing a 3rd child into this.

You agreed he could go out, it is pretty obvious that someone out drinking until 1am, with your agreement, isn't going to be getting up at 6am, or getting up in the night with the dc.

It sounds like you weaponised the kids and then, when that didn't work, you just poured water over him.

Next time tell him you would prefer it if he didn't go out, rather than agreeing and then resenting him and making his morning miserable as punishment.

Poor kids. Their father telling them and their mother to fuck off and then their mother squirting water at him. They sure are having a blessed childhood!

Are you wanting applause OP? Because that is a horrible thing to do and counts as abuse.

This with bells on.
It was his leaving do.

For a leaving do I would have suggested he gets a room elsewhere and to be in a fit state by the time he got home. Less than 5 hours sleep and a hangover is not going to see him be helpful in any way.

I would have been on your side if it was 2pm and he was still in bed (even then the water would have been too much) but you have been an arse.

He sounds like an oaf and it doesn’t sound like a happy partnership. Why are you having another baby?

Im surprised the kids don’t join in. He sounds extremely unhelpful.

Erm. What?!

how often does he go out and is like this? I mean if you’re having to do this all the time then not goo

I don’t think squirting him with water is ok.

could you not have managed if he doesn’t go out very often? If he does go out often the that’s a different issue.

tou need to apologies re squirting him with water.

you are both really disrespectful.

Carry on like that and you might end up doing every morning alone with the children.

You sound vile and abusive. It was his leaving do. You agreed he could go.

Stop blaming pregnancy for your disgusting behaviour.

Yes, completely unreasonable. If you agreed he could go out and he got back drunk at 1am obviously he’s not going to be getting up at 6am. If he does it all the time that’s a different matter but you say this was his leaving do so a special occasion.

Well, as this isn’t going the way the OP would like, I predict a drip feed incoming….

Look if he's out constantly and generally a useless arse, I can see why you got riled up. I still think it's pretty abusive to squirt someone with water for not doing as you say.

But if he's not out on the piss all the time (I get the impression he isn't based on you saying you "agreed" that he could go out) and is generally a decent husband and father, then you are even more unreasonable.

Neither of you come out smelling of roses here.

He’s a twat for telling you all to fuck off and abdicating his responsibilities as a parent. Don’t get to opt out because of your choices the night before.

You’re a twat for pouring water on him. That could be categorised as assault.

You both need to do better for the sake of your children. They’re learning this shitty behaviour from the pair of you!

Totally unreasonable, I would be furious with you. What did you think you were going to achieve by being abusive?

If he’s out getting drunk and not helping every week then that’s one thing. If this is a rare thing then you are being unreasonable.

Christ on a bike. Yes you were unreasonable. But you're also crazy to stay with (and have another baby with!) someone who tells your kids to fuck off.

The warning signs were there when the OP stated that she 'agreed he could go out'. How benevolent.

Controlling and abusive spring to mind.

His behaviour isn't much better either, telling you to fuck off in front of your children, but I suppose he was provoked.

I think squirting water at him was too much but you were right to expect him to get up and help with the morning routine when you'd been up half the night yourself. You don't get to just opt out of being a parent because you've been out drinking.

Surely he’s allowed one night off for his leaving do? Does he get drunk often? Does he usually get up for the DC?
Also you really shouldn’t be involving your DC in this, they sound quite young.

Sorry you think the kids should be encouraged to be abusive to their dad? Are you one of the mn “yeah you go girl! He deserves it”” when a woman is abusive?

Of course you can! We don’t get the chance to go out that often, but when one of us does we also get a lie in. It was the guy’s leaving do so it’s not like it’s a regular occurrence.

You sound very controlling and abusive. Even the language you've used shows this. You were basically punishing him for daring to go out.