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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I squirted my hungover husband in the face with water

548 replies

Hormonallyblessed · 30/01/2026 09:32

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

OP posts:
sundayvibeswig22 · 30/01/2026 09:58

If my dh was going for his leaving do and I knew he’d be home late and be drinking then I’d have told him not to get up and have a lie in- if this was only a one off / occasional thing. He would do the same for me.
I also wouldn’t expect or want a drunk person seeing to my small dc during the night.

the swearing at you was wrong but it sounds like you were looking for a fight and to have the moral high ground. I would be livid if my dh threw water at me as you’ve described. Not once but twice. Thats abusive.

Rumpledandcrumpled · 30/01/2026 09:59

I’d not have posted this, it’s such a shit show of a relationship, children involved and two adults acting like immature bullies.

if someone goes out I’d assume other on duty the next morning, and trying to physically bully them out of bed by pouring water on them repeatedly is shitty behaviour.

elfendom1 · 30/01/2026 09:59

That is really nasty, it was his leaving do and you agreed he could go. If you carry on like this often, he won't stay with you. You need to apologise.

Mosaic80 · 30/01/2026 09:59

It's not OK to squirt someone in the face with water but it's also not OK for him not to drag himself out of bed and help a bit with the DC given you were feeling so awful especially because his "illness" was self inflicted!

How old are the DC? Could you have tag teamed giving a basic breakfast/resting on the sofa/TV as a one off or did you need to get them out for school? I'd have just done whatever to get through it but would have expected him to assist in some way as you were feeling so ill.

Idontspeakgermansorry · 30/01/2026 10:00

YABU. Him being a lazy shit doesn't excuse abusive behaviour from you.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 30/01/2026 10:00

itsnotmeitsyouprobs · 30/01/2026 09:38

Wow what a shit show. And bringing a 3rd child into this.

Couldn’t agree more.

Rumpledandcrumpled · 30/01/2026 10:00

Mosaic80 · 30/01/2026 09:59

It's not OK to squirt someone in the face with water but it's also not OK for him not to drag himself out of bed and help a bit with the DC given you were feeling so awful especially because his "illness" was self inflicted!

How old are the DC? Could you have tag teamed giving a basic breakfast/resting on the sofa/TV as a one off or did you need to get them out for school? I'd have just done whatever to get through it but would have expected him to assist in some way as you were feeling so ill.

It was his leaving do and she agreed he could go. She then wanted him up during the night and at the crack of dawn and then started pouring water on him as he wouldn’t get up. What part of that is acceptable.

NotAnotherScarf · 30/01/2026 10:01

You "agreed"... it was his leaving do.

You did everything with the kids... what would you do if he was ill or away for work.

6am you want him up...so you squirt water in his face.

Christ you sound sooooo abusive. If this was a man doing that to a woman she be told to put her ducks in a row and leave.

Gloopsy · 30/01/2026 10:02

Hormonallyblessed · 30/01/2026 09:32

Im 8 weeks pregnant with DC #3 and really struggling with pregnancy sickness, tiredness and headaches - i agreed my DH could go out last night with work colleagues for his leaving do while i picked up DCs, took them swimming, fed and bathed them and put them to bed (and cleaned up then straight to bed myself).
He got back drunk at 1am and didnt get up in the night when 1 DC fell out of bed and then when the other DC needed covers pulled up then later wet themselves. All this i can deal with.
This morning kids wanted to get up at 6am and DH completely refused to get up. Said he wasnt getting up and to leave him alone. I said no way he had to get up with us as im on the verge of vomiting and he needs to be with us to help. He kept refusing. Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc. So I took my Evian water bottle and squirted his face and upper back while he was in bed. This made him sit up (he was furious) but he then lay back down so i squirted him again and said id keep doing it until he got up. He did then get up.
I'm not planning to apologise. Was this unreasonable?!

Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc.

After he told the kids this, he deserved it

2old4thispoo · 30/01/2026 10:03

I'm so shocked you even need to ask!!

nam3c4ang3 · 30/01/2026 10:03

Here for the massive incoming drip feed 🥴🍿…. But if not - OP YABU - and bringing another child into this?! Yikes.

plentyofsunshine · 30/01/2026 10:03

Are the other two children his OP?

TheMrsCampbellBlack · 30/01/2026 10:03

If my husband thought I needed his permission to socialise he'd be alone pretty quickly. As adults we do whatever we like while managing our responsibilities.

ScarlettSarah · 30/01/2026 10:04

Is everyone missing the bit where this guy told his young kids to fuck off?!

unbelievablybelievable · 30/01/2026 10:04

Hopefully, he's getting his dry ducks in a row

BollyMolly · 30/01/2026 10:06

You abused your husband in front of your children. That means you abused your children.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 30/01/2026 10:06

Getting your kids to try and get him up and then throwing water on him is stupid on your part, don’t agree to him going out and then bring your kids into this bullshit. It’s your 3rd kid, you are going to have to deal with your kids while feeling sick, that’s just part of the choice you’ve made. You’ve both done a shit job today.

WhitsunWedding · 30/01/2026 10:06

You both sound abhorrent.

Imagine exposing young kids to this, and adding another one to this dysfunctional shit show.

ThatBlackCat · 30/01/2026 10:07

Absolutely NOT being unreasonable. If it were me, it wouldn't just be water...

He sounds like a selfish pig and deadbeat dad. He sounds like he wants to live a bachelor lifestyle. Two kids at home, his days going out drinking should be way behind him by name. He needs to grow up and stop thinking he can be a teen or 'lad in his 20s'. It's just a shame you're having another baby with him but at at only 8 weeks, are you sure you want to continue this pregnancy to him? I'd be thinking hard about that. I also wouldn't want to be with a man that tells his wife and mother of his 2 children to fuck off. Real pos isn't he.

CollieModdle · 30/01/2026 10:07

Your kids should not be witnessing this.

Not him swearing, not you squirting him in the face, not you soaking bedding etc as a response to anger and frustration.

Sort yourselves out.

You knew he was out for a leaving do and would be late / have had a few.

He knows he has young kids.

There are one offs when we just have to get on with it and then discuss it later.

You made a difficult situation into an abusive display involving your kids.

Think on.

ThejoyofNC · 30/01/2026 10:08

ThatBlackCat · 30/01/2026 10:07

Absolutely NOT being unreasonable. If it were me, it wouldn't just be water...

He sounds like a selfish pig and deadbeat dad. He sounds like he wants to live a bachelor lifestyle. Two kids at home, his days going out drinking should be way behind him by name. He needs to grow up and stop thinking he can be a teen or 'lad in his 20s'. It's just a shame you're having another baby with him but at at only 8 weeks, are you sure you want to continue this pregnancy to him? I'd be thinking hard about that. I also wouldn't want to be with a man that tells his wife and mother of his 2 children to fuck off. Real pos isn't he.

I really hope this post is sarcasm.

Have we really got to the stage where one half of a couple even go out on a leaving do anymore?

needadvice27 · 30/01/2026 10:08

I can see why you’re annoyed but your behaviour kind of removes any moral high ground you may have had. He would be no use to you in this state so I would have let him sleep it off then told him he’s on full duty the following day so you can have a rest.
It doesn’t seem like a great environment for kids. Hungover father, mum squirting water at him, shouting and swearing.

ScarlettSarah · 30/01/2026 10:09

ThejoyofNC · 30/01/2026 10:08

I really hope this post is sarcasm.

Have we really got to the stage where one half of a couple even go out on a leaving do anymore?

Show quote history

Going out on a leaving do doesn't mean you don't have to get up with your kids next morning to help your pregnant wife who is feeling unwell.

HappyFace2025 · 30/01/2026 10:10

Gloopsy · 30/01/2026 10:02

Kids tried to get him up he refused. Told us to fuck off etc.

After he told the kids this, he deserved it

Show quote history

Looks like we're in the minority here! Squirting someone with water is not abusive. If she'd slapped him that would be a different matter entirely.

StiffAsAVicar · 30/01/2026 10:10

Wow. You “let him” go out for his leaving do but then list and get annoyed about everything that’s to do with going out for his leaving do. YABU and abusive. Hope your children don’t see you do such behaviour. Shame on you